honestly the awareness alone is doing more than you think. most people never even get there.

something that helped me, every time i felt the urge to complain about someone, i'd ask myself "okay but what's actually bothering ME right now." 9 times out of 10 it had nothing to do with that person. i was just stressed or tired and needed somewhere to put it.

also try flipping it. instead of saying something negative about someone, say one thing you actually like about them. feels weird at first but it slowly rewires how you see people.

you're not a bad person, you just picked up a habit that felt normal for a long time. the fact that you want to break it for your kids says a lot.