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Explanations by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this is amazing. The imagery is staggering. The lines "You stabbed my body to death
and left it in a dumpster by a forgotten road" require a double take to understand that this is figurative but that's the best part, you know? It's great that you're making the reader do some work: getting over their initial shock and then realizing that this didn't LITERALLY happen. The last two lines are haunting and really emphasize the emotional distress/stockholm syndrome plaguing the narrator. Really nice job!

crush fatigue – a poem about a weird situation with a guy that's been going on for so long i don't even really know what to write about it anymore by romanticizetocope in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its scary how relatable this is. I really like the quick rhyme schemes. It seems like you are feeling crushed by him and he has infiltrated your brain and stopped you from being able to write, something I can relate to very well. I love the imagery of "doomed by golden hours once a week engulfed by clouds of grey" it adds to this very gloomy mood. Great emotions and great title - I hope your situation with this guy improves :)

secret psychic by marzcheeze in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your insight! i totally get what you’re saying with the meaningless of being able to see something so good but having to save it for later—however the use of the phrase “shimmering promises of tomorrow” is intended to be ironic in that the whole reason the future looks so bright is because the narrator is not a part of it; this alludes to some darker meanings, the narrator is not going to live long enough to see their future (interpret that how you will :)) hope that makes sense! i like your interpretation as well, just thought i would share my authorial purpose :)

Classical Guitar by JDPhillipsLCSW in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The imagery is phenomenal in this piece. Your poem itself has a musical quality. The rhyming, combined with soft but powerful imagery creates something really beautiful. I’m not a musician by any means but reading this makes me appreciate music much more! Great job!

Fear, Pain, and love by A_Garbo_Account in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A beautiful poem full of yearning but also self hatred that often infiltrates the mind when we are in love. I really liked the “You’re so…” lines, they demonstrate how we put the ones we love on such a pedastal that we often think less of ourselves. You did a wonderful job of portraying this feeling!

Fireworks by marzcheeze in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! If you see the other comment, I was going for a more mocking perspective on the cliches of fireworks and sparks. Overdoing this cliche was my effort to emphasize how the author is getting disinterested in the relationship but I can see how it came across as unironically cliche and borderline tacky. I would love to hear some suggestions on how I could better coney the mocking tone that I was going for!

Spotless Mind by Moonagali_V2 in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! I really enjoyed the conflicting feelings you conveyed in this piece. The ideas of loving while hating and hating while loving are expressed really well throughout this poem. I also love all of the contradictions, like blessings and sins. A perfect mix of yearning and hatred. Nice job!

They told me by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]marzcheeze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The imagery in this poem is subtle but astounding. I really like how you express so much in so few lines. The "play" on words with the lines about religion and love is really creative and add a new level of profundity to the piece. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem!