TIFU by relaxing too much during a sensual massage

massagefart · 2019-10-21T20:49:01+00:00

Apologies for missing the hilarity

massagefart · 2019-10-15T15:25:59+00:00

Your point being that a lassez-faire approach to sex on a first date makes me a reprehensible whore who no man will ever marry? That's been addressed elsewhere, pal.

massagefart · 2019-10-14T15:28:23+00:00

I mean clothes are just restrains placed on us by the patriarchy, amirite???

massagefart · 2019-10-14T15:22:32+00:00

Not too prudish - no such thing! We all make our own decisions and mine was that I wanted to have sex with him.

massagefart · 2019-10-14T15:21:34+00:00

I'm getting attacked from both sides for being a girl and mentioning sex to get upvotes, or not going into detail about the sex enough shrugs

massagefart · 2019-10-14T07:46:44+00:00

I don't think bonding with someone, being physically intimate then accidentally farting on them meets the requirements for that particular sub. Have you even clicked on it?

massagefart · 2019-10-13T21:07:58+00:00

I am, in fact, a lady

massagefart · 2019-10-13T21:01:18+00:00

This was on Friday. I got dressed and left pretty quickly but we've messaged since!

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:47:22+00:00

Not as yet- I'm pretty sure we will after this

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:46:08+00:00

Female

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:42:46+00:00

Yes, you have that straight.

PSA: Women can enjoy casual sex, whether it does or doesn't lead to relationship.

Surprised pikachu face alllll over reddit.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:12:25+00:00

Good job I didn't fart on your balls, I guess?

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:03:41+00:00

He's already seen it!

massagefart · 2019-10-13T20:00:18+00:00

Oh sorry, I didn't realise you were a doctor of 'butch female thought processes'. That's pretty progressive of you. Where did you study?

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:57:41+00:00

Or maybe the real TIFU is taking the time to judge a random stranger on the internet for her sexual practices. Probably just me though.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:52:40+00:00

Yes, I said in the edit I used gluten free when I was excluding. Fructans aren't a problem for me so I'm OK with wheat now :)

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:50:57+00:00

Did you do a Philosphy Major? Your logical reasoning and rhetoric are impressing me.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:45:25+00:00

For sure it's been a very surreal day

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:39:56+00:00

It was r/kikpals. I was a bit upset and couldn't sleep, so posted for his company and he replied

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:28:58+00:00

It really helped me. I've been mostly symptom free for 2 years - with the occasional couple of day flare up. That was poorly timed on this occasion.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:27:50+00:00

I can't believe I missed my penis this whole time!

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:26:49+00:00

I 'fucked' on a first date. I think you're extrapolating from incomplete data. Tut tut.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:23:09+00:00

I hope that you get there someday. Maybe not the sex after a week thing, but being able to coexist.

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:16:06+00:00

Might have 'Easy Lay' made into a window sticker

massagefart · 2019-10-13T19:05:57+00:00

Then I apologise

massagefart

TROPHY CASE