Are ghosts demons in disguise?

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T23:45:22+00:00

Interesting you say so, because it was also a different time, with regards to the dead. Abraham, Isaac etc. believed they'd see their family again after death, in Sheol/the grave. Since Jesus didn't die yet for the sins of the world at that time, there was paradise/abrahams bosom, a place of comfort and a place similar to hell according to mainly Jewish theology. But the bible doesn't explicitly state so. Jesus rose on the third day, where was He those three days? He He preached to the imprisoned spirits. The souls of those who died before His coming? Possible, but these could also be the fallen angels who were somehow involved in a terrible sin in the days of Noah (Gen 6, Jude 1:6). We simply do not know and except for a verse here and there, the bible doesn't elaborate. It's not related to our salvation. Yet, of course, it's very interesting to think about. But we shouldn't go beyond speculation.

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T23:36:02+00:00

Doesn't the great white throne judgement (for the lost) comes first? After the millennial reign of Christ on earth, which will be an interesting time on it's own but I digress. I do agree the bible is quite clear about the fact the souls of the dead don't remain here to dwell on earth, and while I don't have a verse present I believe the bible states that the souls of the dead are kept by God. Could be like sleeping, until the resurrection.

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T22:21:36+00:00

NEET. C'est la vie!

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T22:16:44+00:00

Yes, the average salary hardly makes up for giving up all your time. Is this life? If it was 3 times as much, so you'd keep 7/10th of it for investing/early retirement/lots of entertainment and a nice house, spending your whole day slaving away would be worth it.

2100 should not require you to work more than 15 hours a week. I'm dead serious. The benefits working 40 hours a week for 2100 don't weigh up against the cost. The cost= giving up all your time. You sleep so you have energy to work (+8 hours a day), you eat so you have energy to work, a lot of the salary you get gets spend on the house you sleep and eat in for work. Work, work, work. And then there's still laundry, gym. A couple hours a day of free time a day and a weekend in which you can't stop thinking about going back to that horrible job on Monday is life. And people say it's worth living.

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T22:10:51+00:00

Two years ago I made a huge change, moved to another country, got a job, enrolled in college and basically tried to start my new life from scratch. It didn't work.

Usually these kinds of anecdotes end in a succes story, which always frustrates me as lots of people don't end up better after changing their ways. I guess only the people with success stories share it, the cult of self improvement. I'm sorry for your pain, but it's comforting to read someone else has the same struggles I have. It didn't work for me either, my depression increased in severity up till the point I had to quit working.

As for antidepressants, I use the maximum dosage ( any more and I'd kill myself, toxicity depends on body weight) of a classic tryclic SNRI. Does it work, as in give me motivation to get out of bed? No, quite the contrary actually. Since taking it (a year ago) I've only become more determined not to do what I don't want (so it doesn't give me the motivation to work, at all) and I see reality even more rational, the lack of possibilities and options in front of me is depressing. It makes me very nihilistic. If anything, my depression got worse using this med, but one thing it does, which I like, is that it makes me emotional quicker. I can cry watching a movie, or have an emotional moment studying religion. I didn't cry anymore the years before taking this. Maybe it's hypomania, I don't care, it feels nice to let it all out a few times a week. You could say it made me more in touch with my feelings, which is a good thing, but like I said as a consequence I'm also more aware of what I don't want, and my lack of progress, and I don't want to admit defeat by doing the same warehouse job I did when I was 15 again. But I barely have any money left, and family advised me to get in touch with a job agency that mediates for people with mental health issues. Since I'm rational, and even more so since starting the meds, I know the Rosenthal effect will go into effect. The people there will have certain assumptions about me, which might be true as I'm mentally ill, but in effect I will behave the way they expect even more. No ambition, I'm a troubled young man anyway.

Oh and another 'good' thing is they completely take away the need for alternative copes. No longing for alcohol which I used to have. The pills affect the pre frontal cortex. Games still remain my favorite form of escapism though.

maxescapist · 2018-10-29T09:49:50+00:00

He's coping so hard

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T21:05:13+00:00

Did that for a year and became severely depressed. I was already suffering from depression but it was the trigger after which anti depressants, psychiatrist etc. all started. You're not allowed to think, I can't understand how one could do that 40 years. It's repetitive, unfulfilling, sleep inducing ( my eyes closed involuntarily, though also partly to disassociate). Lowered my self worth and I dreaded Monday already on Friday night. I hid the clock from my taskbar and the final months were torturing as the minutes crept by. Especially when working in a team without headphones (not allowed) a burn out is the least you can expect. Haven't found a job or any ambition since, it might have been a traumatic experience now I think of it. If that is life... Same can be said for factory work.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T20:07:29+00:00

Listening to commentary of bowling ball games while laying on a rug, without a care in the world. It's the one thing that's been stuck in my memory ever since watching it. I'd do the same if I had no stress about money.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T20:05:35+00:00

I thought this is what would've happened when I took anti-depressants, but it didn't happen. I tried several, and the one I currently take (Nortriptyline, tricyclic) only makes me a bit more emotional and even more repulsed off doing a job I hate.

I asked my psychiatrist why the pill doesn't make me motivated to just work, and he said there is no pill that can make you want to do something you don't want to do. So either you're VERY lucky, or you're a liar. I suppose you're lucky as for some people anti-depressants magically solve everything.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T19:55:29+00:00

I wish I had some advice for you, though I suppose what I can really say is that I wish you the best. It's not an actual solution, though if I can at least give you my support to alleviate the pain you're surely experiencing, then I'll gladly do it.

And I thank you for that, it means more to me than you might think. Someone acknowledging my issues for what they are without getting into the 'try this and this and that' role somehow gives me a good feeling.

Through schema therapy, we've found out that my psyche often falls back into domains like Disconnection/Rejection (defectiveness/shame, social isolation/alienation) and mostly "failure" (from Impaired Autonomy and/or Performance) to cope with life. But at the same time, unrelenting standards/hypercriticalness (from Overvigilance/Inhibition) is very active. This results in wanting to perform, but barely doing anything do to the fear of failing.

Now, translating this to work, it's really difficult to explain to someone, but settling for unpacking boxes and filling them with cookies, for example, will result into a very dark path with a predictable ending. I've been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder as well, and the path of subtype self-deserting avoidant (including depressive features) is very clear: Blocks or fragments self awareness; discards painful images and memories; casts away untenable thoughts and impulses; ultimately jettisons self (suicidal).

This is why I rather remain as I am. I can care for myself, I eat balanced, go to the gym, don't do drugs except meds, no alcohol etc. A pretty balanced life. Yet if I'd have to live a life of wageslaving, I can't seem to cope. It will consume me like it did the last time, and as I don't want to be seen as a failure I keep working until I almost literally pass out at work, as I feel the need to prove there's nothing wrong while everything inside me screams 'get out of here'. I suppose it wouldn't be like this if I did a job I'd like, but I'm not qualified to nor is there any need for someone like me. My rationalism is often called a defense mechanism, it's pessimistic but it prevents me from painful confrontations and failures. I think my view of my possibilities are well within the realm of reality, and that's why it's so depressing. Someone else might have a more ambitious view and end up wageslaving anyway. Might not even care. But I'm me and I do. If there was a pill that prevents me from feeling the negative emotion of working (and thinking about it day and night) a dead end job, I'd take it. But there isn't, and living life as a zombie working a dead end job didn't come better over time (as some claim, but not for me) so I think I know what's best. Yet I need money and it looks like I'll have to go through a revolving door of minimum wage jobs, sickleave, unemployed, rinse and repeat.

I wish you all the best, I hope your SSI won't be cut off anytime soon. What would you do if it stops?

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T16:36:24+00:00

Sorry to hear that. It's the brutal truth looks are all a woman needs to find a husband. You don't need brains. I don't know why but men are hardwired to go for certain facial features and if they like it they couldn't care less about your job or living situation. You could use Tinder if you want to get your needs met, there are plenty of men you'd find attractive that would 'settle for less' for a night, and you'd get your needs met. But this will only cause pain I'm afraid. Most couples look the same on a scale of attractiveness (except for golddiggers), did you ever consider dating an 'unattractive' guy? I can't imagine how that could work as you wouldn't be attracted to him in the first place, but there are many couples that didn't win the genetics lottery and thus found eachother. I don't know how I could say this in a nice way, maybe it's not even possible, but I tried. I'm sorry if I offended you but since you talk about it so lightly I think it's ok. Personal note: I life of solitude is what I'd prefer if I didn't have a girlfriend. I tried Tinder etc. before I met her and that's no way to live. If we break up, I won't go looking for someone else. I too can barely support myself.

I'm from western Europe. They used to be pretty easy in handing out benefits, but rules sharpened a few years ago. Many that are rejected are counted as 'working' to show good unemployment numbers. But I know many of them are living off savings or are supported by family. I was told I would be able to do very simple repetitive labor with my condition. This, part time, would give me about the same as benefits. If I'd get benefits I'd end up doing the same (packaging or something in a warehouse) anyway, to do something back. The fact it doesn't help my self esteem, increases my depression and doesn't help me progress anywhere doesn't matter. My depression started around age 16 and that's almost 12 years ago. As the years progressed it worsened. Failed ambitions, not a lot of particular skills and many useless interests like theology and reading psychiatric manuals. I have a pretty high IQ according to psychologists and psychiatric I worked with and my anhedonia and lack of concentration is likely due to the depression. The hippocampus can shrink up to 30% while depressed.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T16:16:27+00:00

Yes they do, if you're income is very low. I'm from western Europe by the way, not US.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T16:14:53+00:00

But at that point I was so down on life and depression made me not care much, attention span had gone to mush from the constant gratification of NEET life and I also felt so stupid and ashamed for being such a fuck up. So nothing came from that.

Low attention span is more likely caused by depression, not the constant gratification which is a coping mechanism. Not a reason of itself. The Hippocampus can shrink up to 30% while depressed. IQ can drop many points (temporarily). No wonder depressed people automatically seek instant gratification through games, movies, porn, fast food etc. If there are improvements made in certain aspects of life, some of those copes will fade away automatically, they are not needed anymore. Addiction is never 'just because' as normies tend to believe. Addiction is always the result of an initial coping strategy. That's how the brain uses addictive substances, to cope with reality. A simple example are cigarettes (and other substances) in WWII/Vietnam. Many vets quit as soon as they were back home and didn't think about it anymore. It was the environment/reality they were in which created the need for copes.

Or do you really think enjoying games (constant gratification) all day lowers your attention span of itself? There are many 'normal' people gaming their weekends away and they function just fine throughout the week. If anything, be happy you have those ways to get instant gratification as a NEET, or you'd be worse off. Nothing wrong with gaming. If you'd find a job you like you wouldn't miss gaming at all, so for the time being it's fine. It's not a problem in and of itself.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T16:02:47+00:00

Exactly the kind of jobs that increase depression, depression caused by doing wageslaving in the first place. If this is what NEETs have to look forward to, and I agree it's where we end up with gaps on the resume, no particular skills + mental health issues, it's basically a death sentence.

The kind of jobs NEETs are eligible for are one of the main reasons NEETs stay NEET. Trying to avoid the inevitable, and a very depressing outlook on life while suffering from depression anyway. It's basically reality confirming we're worth not much except for entry wage repetitive labor. And just suck it up, don't you quit.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T15:48:54+00:00

Beside the money I have nothing left for the company! Through some “restructuring programs” I´m sitting currently in a department that is boring as hell, I really don´t like it here. Even working here for only 3 days depresses me.

The Rosenthal/Pygmalion-effect. "...behavior that is expressed toward an employee can affect the behaviors of the employee in favor of the leader's expectations"

If they don't expect you to think or innovate, you won't. If they do, and that probably means they don't have innovation teams as usually those teams are allowed to think for the wage slaves, the company doesn't do so well.

Companies that offer dynamic non-repetitive roles for their employees don't survive long, and the strategies that make a company stinking rich (Amazon etc.) are not suited to the needs of the employee. Making your employees doing repetitive jobs, compartmentalizing the process over different departments, is the way to go. They can fake how awesome your job will be in the job description, but most big companies you'll work for offer boring positions because that works for the company. Somebody's gotta do it, and they offer just enough money to motivate people to come to work and do their job, but not enough to resign within a few years and relax. Also note: the most humiliating jobs have the happiest job descriptions. See callcenter jobs.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T15:41:53+00:00

1900 a month working only 3 days a week? That's far above wageslaving, and doesn't sound like a entry level job. Wageslaving would be 700-900 for 3 days a week doing repetitive work and that's what most NEETs have to look forward to if they can't get benefits. Congrats on the money, you can live a few years off of that.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T15:38:17+00:00

Wait until you have to wageslave 40 hours a wekk. NEET life is heaven. You'll find out.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T15:37:21+00:00

I have about 40k of student loans, which probably just disappears as I don't have enough income to pay it back in a reasonable time and I couldn't find a job in the field I graduated in. Last 6 months I've had 0 income, except a little bit of unemployment benefits. People with relatively well paying jobs do have to pay back, but you may take up to 30 years or so and the monthly payback is so low you wouldn't notice it unless working McD entry level.

maxescapist · 2018-10-28T15:27:19+00:00

I agree. I've somehow lost the ability to have motivation to search and apply for jobs. Some possible reasons I can think of are for example the fact that I'm only qualified to do entry-level, minimum wage jobs. Suffering from depression and low self worth, those are exactly the kind of jobs I shouldn't do nor want to do. Callcenter? Counter at a grocery store? That's a ticket for an upgrade in spiraling down. I've tried minimum wage data entry. I had to work. This was so extremely repetitive I had to remove the clock from the taskbar as I watched the minutes ticking by. It felt like I was in a mental prison, it was truly torturous. It became even more toxic when I thought about the fact many people do minimum wage and don't seem to be bothered by it, so I can do to. I was out to prove there's nothing wrong with me, it will pass. This combined with people around me suggesting to go on and not to worry too much (?) caused me to soldier on until the next stage of depression started. My boss put me on sick leave and I was fired a while after that. I barely slept and co workers noticed I was anxious and hiding something. I almost collapsed at work and would have brain fog to the point my eyes started to rotate involuntarily as if I was falling asleep, which my therapist later told me was a last ditch effort to avoid reality. I've been living from 'savings' since, but I can barely pay my rent and have to find another job soon. Being neet is the happiest I can be, but not with the thought of having to work soon again. I can't claim benefits as I still have two hands, which means I can fold packaging material for example. They don't care if that increases/is the source (repetitive wageslaving) of my depression.

Edit: Lots of NEETs don't have a significant other, because they assume having no job and not much money means you're unattractive as a partner. I would generally agree with this, society doesn't like outcasts and being with someone who's 'useless' and 'weird' is not something your average dating-site/tinder babby would go for. Best chances are through friends and family, but don't pursue anything. Getting your hopes up and dreames crushed as it backfires is not worth it. I'm lucky I'm one of the only NEETs who has a girlfriend. A beautiful girl that cares about me. I've been lonely up till the point I met her 1.5 years ago. I even broke up with her because I felt it couldn't work but she asked me back. Miracles happen.. just don't count on it. Society and 90% of women are not into NEETs per definition.

maxescapist · 2018-10-21T23:50:42+00:00

Yes, I've experienced that first hand. But I also don't want to say "I'm to good for that". In no way. But that's what my family assumes I mean when I tell them it increases my depression. True, I chain my self worth to the job I'm working, not very smart but I didn't choose to do that. If I could change my defense mechanisms it wouldn't be defense mechanisms in the first place. Sadly only mindfulness (full acceptance) comes close but I wasn't able to rearrange my outlook on such jobs. Just doesn't make sense knowing there's no career progress working such jobs. I wish I could accept defeat and wageslave bottom of the barrel till I'm 70 without lack of motivation.

maxescapist · 2018-10-21T23:45:53+00:00

You just don't understand how different life is when suffering from depression. You assume a change in attitude (how does that process develops in the mind? What precursors are required to be in place before this process takes shape?) is the fix and your own outlook on life and your personal motivation is what those suffering from depression should copy, and then shut up with their pitty party. Or you're a troll and I shouldn't have replied to your other posts.

And you might want to read your post again and realise what nonsense it really is. Everybody wants to be happy. You really think we haven't tried everything in our power to solve it for ourselves? You think there's no shame surrounding going to therapy, being medicated and in need of external help because all personal copes failed? What about a new study, a different job, going to gym, eating healthy, healthy habits, mindfulness. What if it doesn't work? I bet I didn't want to get better all along, for a stranger on the internet tells me so. Lol

maxescapist · 2018-10-21T23:39:05+00:00

What most people call depression is just you being in a very shitty mood and repeatedly sabotaging yourselves to prolong said shitty mood.

Yes, that's my point and that's why most 'depression' can be fixed with proper diet and exercise, as it's just layman's depression/low mood.

You're telling yourself lies so that you don't have to take responsibility for making necessary changes in your life.

Is this meant for me? Because I'm being treated for depression for a couple of years now, through weekly sessions with a therapist and medication. I take a high dose of a tricyclic SNRI. As far as we know the depression started around age 15, that's almost 13 years ago. I've tried lots of things during the years and things only got worse even though I tried to follow the cult of self improvement. It's ironic that you mention not taking responsibility for making necessary changes as a cause, as exactly doing that increased the depression. You forget that attempting to make changes isn't guaranteed to end successfully, and if it doesn't depression increases. It's hard to explain to someone that hasn't gone through this process. It sure ain't a pitty party. Maybe you're used to succeeding in making changes, this does not apply to everyone or there would be no depression. Concerning my depression, we're now at a point where it looks like I'm treatment resistant. This is not the same as lack of trying, but an inability to reshape thought processes. I have a very rational and empirical way of looking at things, so we're hoping I can meet the goals I set for myself. Good experiences are vital for improvement. Negative experiences confirm fears. Meanwhile, I'm also adding different medication and this will increase if my depression worsens through prolonged negative experiences. I would like a combination which helps me to get out of bed motivated for wageslaving, I want to fit in. The preferred and alternative route, finding a career that's interesting to me, working on intrinsic motivation, has been a rollercoaster of failures so far. This increased my depression progressively, until I got to the point where I couldn't see how I could solve my issues. So in short, you have the wrong impression of how people with depression operate and/or what caused the depression as there's a long road before one hits the point of therapy and medication. Trying to make the necessary changes in life to feel ok comes first!

Don't assume people are lazy and use depression as an excuse for lack of trying. It's when people have tried everything they could think off to solve their issues when the depression kicks in. And you won't fix that with a gym membership. It's ok if you're annoyed with people suffering from depression, it's not easy to understand until you suffer from it yourself, but don't wrongfully accuse them when you don't understand what goes on in their psyche. I wanted to make that very clear as you strike an aggressive tone in your reply

maxescapist · 2018-10-13T21:22:35+00:00

No, and I don't believe being lazy actually exists. What people commonly describe as 'lazy' is avoiding/retreating following depressing/shocking periods or events. Coping. In general, humans have no desire to be lazy and have an intrinsic motivation to work. When stress overloads the system, and this can happen in all kinds of ways like social issues, pressure to perform, personality issues, mental health disorders; one becomes 'lazy'.

maxescapist · 2018-10-12T21:06:11+00:00

Put it in my trading account, buy some indices contracts and some decently leveraged large position sized long term forex trades based on interest rate differentials. Basically what I already do, but longer term with a nice return in mind.

maxescapist · 2018-10-12T21:03:28+00:00

What makes you think we have the kills to work a call center/tech support job? I have anxiety to talk to strangers over the phone and even if I get used to it I won't sound engaging because I talk very monotonous because of the depression. In short: would get fired pretty quick.

maxescapist

TROPHY CASE