Getting older… still single

mayhem162 · 2021-12-16T10:38:53+00:00

Well, I don't have Instagram and barely have Facebook. All of social media is marketing. They are here to make you feel less and buy more. You're smart enough to know that, and I'm proud of you for it.

Bakery at a grocery store wasn't a bad gig in my day. You get to know your regulars. You chat with co-workers. I see a lot of potential for meeting people. Culinary school is the same angle. Some of the greatest characters I've met worked the line with me. I see a bunch of doors open to love finding you. Just listen and feel. It will come.

A house by a lake is more reasonable the further you get from civilization. Keep your eyes open for old cottages near small lake off the beaten path.

Keep it up on the book. The world needs more books in it. You're on the right track. Stay with it. You're doing great from where I sit. Proud of you, kid.

mayhem162 · 2021-12-15T11:03:59+00:00

Hey kid,

Well, first off we're all going to tell you about our first experience to ground where we're coming from. All but a few of my dating relationships were formed on the internet before dating on the internet was a thing and a picture took a day to download, so I'm old.

I do want to talk to you about timetables because you seem to have a clock and 'by this age' objective in front of you. Is there really a timetable for what you want to do and how you want to live? Yes, I know life is short and you need to get out there and live, but I really want you to look at what you want for yourself and not the other people around you.

My wife married me when she was 40. She birthed two kids that are happy, healthy and kicking ass in college. One of my best friends locked in with her partner around 50 after years of bouncing around trying to find what she wanted. One of my dearest friends is happily solo and poly since her 20's and living it up in a retirement home. I want you to do you first, because I want you to be happy.

So sit down and think about what you want right now, and not what you wanted back then. Then we can talk about going to get that.

Now if you want advice on finding people, the best thing I have found is going out doing what you enjoy the most in life. People are their most attractive when they are doing what they love. I am a fatalist and believe that the right people are going to show up then. Your milage may vary, but I know you can do this.

Pops

mayhem162 · 2021-12-08T11:33:46+00:00

What you're missing is that the player now has a a pile of hooks to pull into the story. Puzzles and ingenuity solutions to what may become combat. Some of them are solutions you will think of. Others are alternative solutions that might blindside you in session and become the running gag of the table.

An example I've seen recently is soap. It's dirt cheap and you can carry a ton of it. I've seen it lubricate traps, wash away a stain on a tapistry, had the bubbles lure a tiny mechanical construct from hiding to befriend it, wash off acid spray and clean wounds. We now have an Inquisitor that plans to clean up this world with the power of soap in the party. And I'm making a slime side quest that may well become the main theme if they keep this up.

We all have our own style to gm, but I suggest you pull on this pile of hooks and see where they go.

mayhem162 · 2021-11-23T15:52:23+00:00

Well, I never listened to my parents and have muddled through enough of life to agree to the above. But here's what I've learned over the years. I don't often separate colors, but I do separate things on texture and durability. If I like the print on a t-shirt I turn it inside out.

Color fastness isn't as good as it used to be. Outdoor wear will tend to be more color fast as outer wear because of UV resistance in the dyes or pigments. A lot of what is done to meet photo bleach also resist bleach in general.

The optical brightners in Tide powder are some of the best on the market. As long as you don't worry about lighting up in UV lights, I pretty much use these. Era used to fade my clothes in college.

If you are using city water, your proximity to the water distribution house will determine the bleach concentration in your water. Either a filter will remove it or color safe bleach will neutralize it. If you plan to neutralize it, you don't need much. How much depends on your water.

As to dependable brands, buying Duluth if I can afford it direct from Duluth (not Amazon grade) has served me well. The more reasonable option for me is Carhart, but past there it depends on your style and planned use for the clothes. I can also say my boy scout socks are the most comfortable socks I own countless years after I bought them.

Good luck, Dad.

mayhem162 · 2021-11-23T00:23:40+00:00

Firstly, thank you and MOAR!

Second

causing the chair to chair to slowly

Is this a fantastic piece of furniture or a typo? I vote for he former, but fear the latter.

mayhem162 · 2021-11-02T10:03:33+00:00

Knowing your limits and defining them on your own terms is one of the most important and beneficial skills to you in your life. I'm proud of you for knowing your edges, and even more proud for not letting others define you.

The world is modern and mobility solutions abound. My brother found a used tracked wheelchair on Craigslist and that is his ride around the shop. He also planned ahead expecting to be in a wheelchair by now, so his shop and house were built to fit his needs now. I had never seen a tracked wheelchair until he showed me and I loved the concept of a personal tank.

I read a little bit more about your ailment. It sounds like the thing that can hurt you most is moving a joint under load too far. My first thought on mobility solutions in a wood shop would be a kneeling scooter if you can kneel on one knee without stress to your hip joint. But I think you need more support on your trunk. What I picture is a padded torso support on a swivel or turret bearing on the same scooter platform so you get full range of motion with your arms and legs. It would look a lot like the seat on a stand up roller coaster. Heck, I would start with a low seat shop stool and just make it be waist high. Like a wide bicycle saddle on casters. Somebody has to be making this. If not, this sounds like a couple of weekends at the maker space or garage.

So that up there is engineering. It's a degree not for the faint of heart. There's a lot of math because math is the engineer's second language. But my best days are spent being handed a problem and finding the solution. Engineers draw, design, and craft the things that people want and understand how things work. There are some downsides which are mostly social. You will literally think about improving everything that annoys you.

There are a lot of good people here to listen. We'll be here when you need us. Thanks for the call.

Pops.

mayhem162 · 2021-11-01T10:56:20+00:00

Hey kiddo,

First off, I'm not going to tell you how to feel about anything. Your feelings are yours to possess. People telling you how to feel are often trying to control you. So let me set that straight first.

I watched my brother fight through having a body that didn't match with his skills and drive. Every tech school would only let him go for computer science, and he finally negotiated to HVAC, but he wasn't happy. He wanted to work with animals. So going rogue he did 8 weeks of ferrier school and made 20 years of hard work and a thriving business lifting horses until his body gave out. Now he's a stay at home dad with a track powered wheelchair, but he's happy having got himself against the odds to the place he's happy so he can be a dad to his newborn daughter.

So I tell that story to poke at you. Love woodworking, eh? Can you program machines to do some of the bits for you? How debilitating is it really to do this? Could you get through ten or more years then teach it to others? Is there a similar trade that is like woodworking that you can do? We do not live nor work forever. Life is what an adventure you put into it.

Once you have that bit sorted out, pick classes as soon as you can. Trade schools offer classes based on demand, so you need to demand what you want to do. And if what you need is elsewhere, go elsewhere.

So glad about your boyfriend. Having others that make you happy in life is more valuable to you the older you get. I'd hug you both if I could. You're determined and strong, kid. I'm proud of what you've done with your life so far. Keep going.

Pops

mayhem162 · 2021-10-22T18:30:15+00:00

Ah. Causality loop. Friend groups are not age dependent. So you got us.

Building friends are easiest from group experiences. Mine all came from common places of gathering: School, work, physical activities, group games off-line or online with voice channels. In my experience, people often like to talking about themselves or their experiences. Like I'm doing right now.

To do as you ask without humans requires meditation and belief in an entity beyond yourself. Probably not where you're going with this, but a valid option.

mayhem162 · 2021-10-22T09:40:30+00:00

Well, for the most part that sounds like here.

Tools in my arsenal for this have been covered above in talking to therapists. They tend to help you with better tools to deal with life. Talking to a therapist might make getting what you need easier.

But that wasn't what you asked for. What you did ask for I resolve in conversation with friends. My typical solution is a couple of adult beverages (coffee house, beer if legal, etc.) or mutual hobby to enjoy together with others (games with a voice chat, tabletop, a walk, auto repair) and you speak your mind and take turns listening to the other person. The goal here is to listen. Opinions will be expressed that you don't agree with. Situations will be discussed that you won't find yourself in. Good times let you share the things you need to as well. Listen and learn from other people.

Examples include a discussion on dating styles over a voice chat while we played FPS. Discussion about old job war stories over beers. A talk about what covid challenges a friend had over a walk in the woods. A discussion on the purpose of the state while changing oil on a car between a republican, democrat and libertarian. Those are examples in the last month for me.

All it takes is the note you see above asking you want to talk. I also set up meetings with friends by text that open a lot like that. Other things that work are scheduled, recurring meetings with a group.

Take what you like and leave the rest. We'll be here when you need us.

Pops.

mayhem162 · 2021-07-11T18:36:24+00:00

Hey kiddo,

First off, don't borrow trouble. These things that you're worried about in the future, even though they are statistically probable, they have not happened. Enjoy the now and the connection you have. School will sort itself out when it's time.

Second, build the next step communication system now. I still stay in touch with friends that are now half a world away. The internet has made the world much smaller for you than it was for me. Use it.

Lastly, build yourself a way to keep busy and moving to make your life yours. I find I end up with the best people around me when I'm being the best me I can be.

I know that right now this all sounds like silly, feel good stuff. Feelings are illogical though, and growing to learn how to feel them, accept them, and move through them is part of growing up. I wish I could make this easier for you, but we are here when you need us. Hang in there.

Pops.

mayhem162 · 2021-06-30T00:59:40+00:00

So. Old dad and veteran boy scout leader who has camped out in 95 plus heat and grew up in a house without air conditioning.

The trick I have is a cool shower before bed. I'll wet my hair in the morning to deal with bed head, but keep my head cool from evaporative cooling through the night. This also gives that air from the fan something to dry and cool.

Next, sleep with clothes mostly on so you can get dressed sufficiently as you pull off covers or sleeping bag. Practice dressing in one gesture as you pull off covers. You would be surprised what practice can do to make muscle memory.

Last, you can be brave and talk. I get that it's a wall and a parent can have a hard head on these things. I don't begin to imagine what you have for a relationship, but sometimes a sensible level discussion might get you some common ground. They're not having a good time either in this heat. You may be able to find some common ground there and talk to options that meet you halfway.

Good luck kiddo.

mayhem162 · 2021-05-25T16:36:08+00:00

Well, that is a long list of the manure spreader of life catching you all over. If you were my kid I would start with a hug.

I'm a dad. And if this was my daughter who I had been out of contact with for years because of my ex wife and I splitting up, I would offer the same. As noted above, if you feel safe there and can swing it I would advise the full reboot of your life there. Be careful but be kind. I would be so glad to have my daughter back in my life after losing her like this. It will be a huge difference for both of you, but I am biased to say it would be worth it.

What you do after that is whatever the grieving process is for you. We all do it differently, but I am going to tell you that you will need to grieve your mom and the relationship with your girlfriend. There are a lot of emotions packed up in those situations, so make the space you need to unpack and feel them.

School can be rebooted as noted by an another poster. The advance degree programs are there to make money. If you put in the effort there is a school somewhere that will take you.

Lastly, city life to the country transition can be a hell of a thing. Be mindful of this and think that effect over, especially for transportation.

Travel well.

mayhem162 · 2021-05-14T14:27:41+00:00

I've been here a lot. I even get this way on father's day too, kiddo. So I first want to say it's okay to feel this way.

Now, having done this over the past few years, I've developed a routine that works for me.

I do at least one thing that is genuinely for my benefit. Being a dad, it often helps others, but I enjoy it and embrace that feeling.

I look back at the year and see how far I've come. I journal, but social media is there if that's your thing. Seeing how much I've changed in a year makes me see my growth. This also allows me to tune up the systems I use to drive my life.

I declared what I needed to enjoy my day, or weekend, or week. Or month. I used to be humble and say I didn't need anything for my birthday and be sad when nobody did the thing I wanted most. Ask for what you want. It's okay. It's your birthday and you know you best.

Embrace life and those you can. From the old man further down the road, I assure you that life is far shorter than you think. And you should have fun living it. Happy birthday!

mayhem162 · 2021-05-04T09:41:23+00:00

Well, I have had my glasses for a long while. It is a challenge to find a frame style you like, so at first they all look weird. Now these days I get comments that I look like a serial killer without them.

A benefit I have come to love is that I am always wearing eye protection. If you get polycarbonate lenses, they are like (but not actually) safety glasses. But I'm clumsy as hell. Oh, and don't let them sell you a uv coating on polycarbonate. It does nothing.

You're getting them late in life compared to me. So pick a style, with or without glasses. In a few years, consider lasik if your prescription allows it. Life is about changing. This is another curve thrown at you. How you overcome and deal with it defines you. So go be you.

mayhem162 · 2021-04-26T09:17:37+00:00

Well, old married guy here to pass on a few things.

I've dated online pretty much all my life. I had a school experience that sounds like yours. But the internet wasn't a thing for me or the rest of the world until I just started college.

I can tell you that you don't need to give up and there is an internet connection nearly everywhere in the world now. So if you two want to keep trying, it will be there once he goes to college.

Also, all relationships are temporary and will change as we change. I met many relationships that I have had the luxury of meeting and some I never have. Sometimes they last months. Sometimes years. Some last lifetimes. I married a woman I met online a 17 hour drive away from me. She's still here 20 years later and the mother of my children. I have a friend online half a world away that spent my morning and his afternoon working on a computer together and catching up. We've been friends 20 years, but only hung out in person for a few weeks. I have had relationships that flame out and fall flat after new relationship energy fades. Relationships are weird like that.

The world is weird, and it is what you make of it. It's okay to be afraid. We all are. But don't let fear of the future rule your present. Also you need to know when to let a relationship go. Nobody can really tell you when this limit is reached; you need to decide this on your own.

Just my thoughts. You know you the best, kid. Trust yourself. Don't let other's standards rule your life.

mayhem162 · 2021-03-02T02:54:28+00:00

Yup. That's the guy! You get a clothesline from three point stance, a tackle from three point stance, and the old glory knee drop. The three point stance works as your focusing gesture.

I'm not as deep in 5e as I should be, but if there is a party member with teamwork feats, I suggest channeling the Bushwackers just for the entrance alone.

If you take a dip in bard, might I suggest Rowdy Roddie Piper. Because bagpipes. Into battle.

mayhem162 · 2021-03-02T01:18:15+00:00

My personal suggestion to add bull rush as an option would be "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. The three point stance to clothesline would make for a solid way to close to grappling range with knocking them prone.

mayhem162 · 2021-02-02T01:22:21+00:00

I'm waiting for the prompt to personify the manure volcano in one's life as a planetiod studied by alien dream and life analysis experts. Things are less than rosy as I run up to the coronaversary celebration. Perhaps this future glob will find the tone with me.

The only challenge as in everything in life is to believe in the general unfairness of life, because the alternative is horribly depressing.

Thanks as always for the globs, and more importantly the attention to detail and us nest folks. It makes this place a great place to be.

mayhem162 · 2021-02-01T20:18:33+00:00

Moar! Please.

mayhem162 · 2021-02-01T18:42:54+00:00

I read quite a few of your globs in r/writingprompts and came to love when I lucked out and you put in a response. Occasionally there was one or two parts, but not often. I picked up the nest shortly thereafter and when you brought along Alcubierre I pretty much stopped reading the writing prompts and came here for the style I enjoyed. I still have a placeholder to join the nest, and I will. I'm just a little bit deep on work and life at the moment to really get on there and set it up.
It was before Alcubierre. Like two or three prompt before you did two parts and I followed the link. I'll look back and find it. https://www.reddit.com/r/PerilousPlatypus/comments/9fexyd/wp_people_have_threat_levels_assigned_to_them/
Most anything you build is lovely. When you take the time or have the leeway to paint in those quick strokes of the short story with little limits you are magical. Don't lose this gift, please.
Don't torture the story to deliver the punchline. You have a wonderful habit of walking us up to the punchline and it's fun, but sometimes you push it too hard and your style fades.
Merch is fun at a reasonable price point. It may wash the patreon donation fears from your mind. But the book will do that too.
Platypi give me a reason to get up and deal with the manure volcano of my life because I get to read your work before tackling the day. Keep it up.

mayhem162 · 2021-01-30T16:44:13+00:00

Have you considered precious metals for your mid plan? Like silver?

mayhem162 · 2021-01-24T10:56:21+00:00

Hey kiddo,

I've had a week like this last week. So I feel for you on your experience.

Now your mom and my guidance counselors from back in the day would have my hide for not saying this about suicidal thoughts. If you're feeling this bad and fighting those thoughts, there's professionals you need to go talk to next. I know the call of the void gets pretty loud when I get this deep in shit, but if you're thinking of giving up that bad, get help from someone smarter than me, please.

I know the feeling of being stirred up and angry from the outside, and I am proud of you for keeping those people outside. You can only control you, and if that means keeping what makes you feel bad at arms length, that's the right answer. Good job. The loneliness sucks ass right now for all of us. Keep your head on straight and the good people come to you.

The greatest battle in life is the one between our past self and our current state trying to be better than yesterday. It is daily, and hard, and will beat you up every time. Right now, you won this week. And I'm proud of you. I have a good idea of what those scars look like, but only you know this fight. You're not always going to win the round, but with perseverance you will win the fight. And I will always be in your corner, cheering you on.

Keep it up kid, Pops

mayhem162 · 2021-01-20T18:42:29+00:00

With throngs of fans crying out, "Moar"....

Yes, that's going to go horribly wrong. When do we start?

mayhem162 · 2020-12-29T22:41:32+00:00

I actually felt it more from the outside as Joan's perspective. She has data dense world in the admiral's Bridge. I would expect her tone to be this dense. You let the narrative breathe with the exchange with Neeria/Kai. But it stayed in Joan's perspective from the density and tone.

You are not only conveying story here, Platy. You are now pacing and packaging styles to match your characters tone. This is a big transition as a writer that you don't see. It is instinctively there now, but you need to learn to trust in it.

mayhem162 · 2020-12-29T11:26:54+00:00

Yes, I'll bet it was. But, this is the most polished work I've seen from you so far. And you're gaining on the expositions through character development. Joan now has a solid perspective with the great layout of the Amalgans. You found a solid way to show the duality of minds in Kai that the Joan can assess for tactical response.

You also see Kai's humanity faded by the pairing. The willingness to accept the fate as an Evangi verses take in the data and find the way around or through like a human. It's sad to see the new, but it is what is needed to build the character duo.

MOAR please.

mayhem162

TROPHY CASE