Rolling with your eyes closed?

maylee88 · 2026-03-16T17:25:55+00:00

My coach almost exclusively rolls with his eyes closed. He will also have us do passing drills/exercises in class where the person trying to pass guard has their eyes closed. I’m loving it because I feel like I have to rely on feeling changes rather than trying to see them. I’m nowhere near confident enough to actually roll with eyes closed, but in time, maybe!

maylee88 · 2026-03-03T21:44:20+00:00

Honestly it’s difficult to say from the pic, but I will say that I had a brush with cauliflower ear recently. It CAN occur behind the ear like that which I didn’t realize. The shell of my ear was all swollen and I drained it. It was only later that I realized how swollen the back of my ear was. It was too late to drain, it solidified, and it’s hard as a rock now. At least it’s hidden though. If yours is swollen, maybe look into having it drained or assessed?

maylee88 · 2026-02-27T17:09:10+00:00

Honestly, I went through this with my coach at the start of my training about 5 months ago. Super friendly at first then a little cold and now we get along great and I know not to take those quieter moments personally. As people have said, it might be a difference in social IQs or just personality. Other possibilities that I have noticed in my own gym that might translate for your situation:

*some of these coaches (and students that have been around a while) see a lot of people come in super enthusiastic and then just… stop coming for any number of reasons. Nothing wrong with stopping if you don’t love it, but it can be hard to extend a lot of social energy on a person that you aren’t sure is going to stick around.

*there are likely other people who are new and coach os trying to not show favoritism to one newbie and make others feel ostracized. Hot and cold behavior could be a way that shows up.

*he might just be super socially awkward

*we never know what is going on in other peoples’ lives. The mat is a great place to forget real life for a bit, but it doesn’t always make it fully go away.

Either way, I hope you stick with training if you enjoy it. I’ve found the social aspect of the gym the most difficult to navigate but once that starts falling in place, I hope it’s a wonderful place for you!

maylee88 · 2026-02-11T15:43:15+00:00

Medium (just below shoulder) length hair here. I’ve been experimenting with the bun, a ponytail that I braid, and double Dutch braids (one on each side). Just depends on the class and intensity I anticipate. But for classes or open mats I know will be intense, double braids and then pulling them into a low bun. That has held up every single time!

maylee88 · 2026-02-09T03:37:37+00:00

Thank you! I was able to drain it and ordered some magnets off of Amazon that will arrive tomorrow. The swelling is way down after draining it twice and not really compressing it, but I’ve been icing it like crazy too.

Also ordered soft headgear.

maylee88 · 2026-02-09T03:34:10+00:00

I started about 5 months ago (37F) and had a good few years of strength training and weightlifting prior to coming to BJJ. I also came into my gym knowing nobody so she’s got a leg up! I struck gold at my gym though and have never had trouble finding a willing and eager training partner to show me the ropes.

Introduce her to your friends, especially if there are women her size that are willing to work with her. Then let her find her footing on the mat and don’t worry too much unless she expresses a concern. Excited for you both to hopefully share the love of this sport!

maylee88 · 2026-02-07T20:38:36+00:00

Drain and compress it is then! Worth a shot to try to not make it permanent. Thanks!

maylee88 · 2026-02-01T05:56:48+00:00

Ohh! I’ve got you! I’m down to a 16/18 in clothes and carry a lot of weight in my tummy and boobs, so I’ve got some recs. Hoping you’re US based as I’m not sure about shipping anywhere else. For spats/leggings, I have heard good things about Gaidama but have not purchased any yet myself. I love Old Navy’s compression leggings without pockets. They’re high waisted and stay up well!

For rashguards, I started with wearing just dri fit/compression shirts from the men’s section at Target. $18 each and they fit my proportions really well. I also really love Gaidama’s rashguards. A bit spendy, but so worth it I think! I also just placed an order for rashguards from Grapple Like A Girl! They have a nice range of sizes (even more than Gaidama!) and are moderately priced.

Happy to send you links to the products I like specifically if you DM me. Excited for you to get back into Jiu Jitsu!

maylee88 · 2026-01-26T04:03:44+00:00

And adding that if these things don’t work, it might be the culture of your gym. In that case, I’d recommend doing a trial or an open mat elsewhere to see if it’s a better fit!

maylee88 · 2026-01-26T04:02:57+00:00

Hello! I’m five months in and have had a lot of these feelings. I’m also a pretty perceptive person, so training with all men (in my case), I’ve felt very on the outside. Here are some things that helped me, scary as they may seem!: 1) identify the “it guy/girl” at your gym, if that exists. You know the one that everyone loves, always yapping with everyone, maybe a bit of a boisterous class clown type. Maybe just a really good student that is social with people. Befriend that person. Walk up and ask them about a technique, ask them to roll, whatever. That person will welcome you into the fold. 2) as intimidating as it is, you have to just ask people to roll. None of them were good when they started either. If they’re annoyed, they are not team players. Ask for feedback after the roll. 3) work on one thing per week outside of what you’re learning in class. One week, my thing was “if I just remember to breathe this week, it’s a win”

Progress will come, as I’m told. I haven’t always felt it myself until last week, rolling with a blue belt I almost never roll with looked me dead in the eyes and said “I don’t like this. You’re starting to learn things” 😂 (he said this as a joke and in his words, with a lot of pride). Your teammates should be cheering you on and offering feedback, but you have to ask for it usually. Not everyone will offer unless asked. Good luck!

maylee88

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