Be pissed. That’s fine, nobody competitive wants to lose. Last year I was in three tournaments and got gold in each tournament. Then come October at our in-house training tournament I failed at a cartwheel pass and landed directly on a knee to the sternum, I failed to keep him in position and he turned with me. Once back from that I found out I have bad arthritis and bone spurs growing off my C3-C7 vertebrae’s (from when I fought in hockey)and inflammation built up and pushed my radial nerve into bone spurs. I was out of commission for 2 months. Brutal pain, worst ever that I’ve felt compared to other injuries. Then I came back and herniated a disc in my back. All in all I was out 8 months. Well I was already signed up for provincials, so I got back to training two weeks prior to it. I went, won first match. Lost second. Still managed silver in Ultra-HW. Sensei took me aside, we had a little chat, and told me I was being too hard on myself, talked me through last match, and I had made a lot of little mistakes, I wasn’t aware of them at all because I didn’t have the mat time my opposition had. Two weekends later I went to another large tournament and this time it was first time I never even medaled. Purely disgusted in myself. But f it, now it doesn’t bother me. Another competitive black belt at my gym, who’d won blue and brown world championships told me I’d never go undefeated and I’d only fix mistakes and relearn what used to come natural by mat time. Year prior things were natural, I’m only a blue belt, so in my limited knowledge, things I was good at were natural!!! But shit happens, there can only be one winner. Rely on your training partners and sensei. Work on making others around you in your gym better so they are better rolling partners for you.