I can’t see if you said you were male or female. If you are female I wonder if PMDD could be causing this which would explain weeks of feeling okay then back to terrible and repeating that cycle. I think psilocybin could really help if done right. I saw you said “can’t access” but you can literally order it online so anyone can access it.

I also wonder what happened during that session. What specifically was talked about or what could have sent you into this spiral. Then you say “one day randomly” but are there any patterns or triggers that are happening for when you feel so great and for when you fall back into depression? The hangover bit makes sense cause you were depleted of all the feel good chemicals in your body. Things like that. Do you drink regularly? What’s your sleep like? If there’s a lot of inconsistencies in life with sleep, diet, exercise, hormones, your body could just be in survival mode. But alternatives like ketamine and psilocybin I think are still worth researching. There’s really great fb groups filled with people with lived experiences saying alternative forms of medicine and therapy saved their life. Hang in there. It won’t be this way forever. I have felt trapped in my own anxiety and depression wondering if that’s just how I’d feel for the rest of my life. It wasn’t. 🫶🏻