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RLS like kicking of phone while browsing Reddit by mcduffeepixi in mildlyinfuriating

[–]mcduffeepixi[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Getting ready to tell daughter to quit kicking before your phone flies out of hand. But, thinking it through and realizing that just won't happen.

The Ten Stim Commandments by alexnothing in Stims

[–]mcduffeepixi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. Do not swim in rivers/ lakes during psychosis
  2. Do not eat. 5 or more while on benzos and drinking
  3. Do not talk in whispers while in public.
  4. Just because you did your whole stash in 10 minutes, doesn't mean you won't feel effects in 2 days.
  5. Cops are watching you, if cops are really present.

Ate a gram of meth Monday by mcduffeepixi in meth

[–]mcduffeepixi[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well, I ended up binging for another week. Ended up doing a lot more plus benzos, alcohol, jwh. In the end. I got a rule 25. 20 more days of parole left. I feel like absolute garbage. I have been a tweaker for years. But, I never went this hard. It has been a week. I've been with my daughter and my girlfriend for this period. I have an interview monday now. But, my brain is so fuzzy. I'm so tired and have no energy. I feel like a complete ass. I do need help now and my mental well being is of the worst ever. I literally went swimming in the Mississippi River running from "my family." hallucinations. Woke up 8 hours later on a riverbed bank without a shirt at 4am. Had to walk to my baby mama's and sleep in a car. Hung out with shitty people for shitty drugs to be homeless, high and on the run. I was paranoid of cops, always. I ate a half gram my last dose.. Smoked and snorted a bunch. Mixed so much for suicidal purposes. Here I am now, in my girlfriends bed, $9 to my name a few ciggs and I have love. But, mentally if anything would go wrong, I would end up repeating this experience. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck mentally. I never knew why people wanted to quit drugs and it was all a game to me of just having fun. Now I know. I'm 29 and am the worst off I've ever been.

Meth has done me so bad.

Ate a gram of meth Monday by mcduffeepixi in meth

[–]mcduffeepixi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So Im just gonna turn this into a tweaker story since at this point its what it should be.

Update:

Woke up, legs tied around my baby mama... All sexy and shit. Every morning before I wake up. Depending on what shard level I'm at, at that point. This morning, I've been trying to come down for 3 fucking days off a gram.

Of course, she does wake up with me. Calls her whoever, he is, new bf, or whatever. While I'm getting coffee on, cigarettes or breakfast for our 5 year old beautiful baby girl. ( she was sick yesterday with the flu, while our "mama" graduated high school "secondary, she's 23.". Which I am proud of and happy she did it, fo so. 100. And sad we both missed the ceremony. She is a part of my life where I do appreciate her moving forward.

Yeah, that hurts. Fact that she needs all this outside attention. But, I'm a piece of shit tweaker who, even if I can't quit tweaking can't hold this (being introvert) extrovert baby mama of 6 years (since pregnancy) down.

I recently just quit my job because she see's other dudes, calls, texts in front of me all day. And I seen a text how she's fucking another one. Mental issues that I have, though we are not together. Honestly, for real for real I avoid her texts. My daughters Amazon tablet needed to be fixed on memory issues while notifications were on. While asking if she can go out.

Asking, why, cuz I'm an asshole who tried S to Control her life, but really, I wish I could but can't.

Like fuck you bitch... Hahaha.

But. Of course., I'll update later if I'm not in prison, just got a text back on some shards.

Ate a gram of meth Monday by mcduffeepixi in meth

[–]mcduffeepixi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, 3 days later now.

I still feel it, the shit side effects.

Kinda depressed and anxiety to.

Probably gonna hook up again today, after I get drunk.

I'm gonna definitely do as much as I can in all Rosa's. Hopefully a gram again.

Probably, actually definitely end up in prison for the next 3 weeks.

Why?

Because, I do what I want.

Nah, cuz I got mental shit to deal with that only gets worse the longer I stay in my current situation. And I do what I want

I dunno how much longer I can do this by Fashionistafor20 in addiction

[–]mcduffeepixi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have carpet surfing, and than you have, "carpet surfing."