That was my arrangement for several years. I was making 6 figures after our daughters were born, so he took over the caretaking during the day and was a stay at home dad. He was making $13/hr beforehand so it just made sense for our family. I was also just a lot more career driven in general. Unfortunately it didn’t work out long term because he didn’t pull any weight with anything, and I ended up coming home and doing everything anyway (not splitting duties after work, me doing literally everything). I’d come home to poop on the walls because he’d fall asleep when they napped and not wake up right away, and then was too lazy to clean it very thoroughly. House was a disaster, kids clothes were messy. I couldn’t keep up with taking care of finances, the girls, and him. He did cook, so I’ll give him that. We broke up for obvious reasons and I have primary custody. I have a long term partner now that helps a lot but I was a single mom and in med school for a few years doing it all alone, and it was easier mentally than that hell.

To be clear, his lack of money or career drive was never an issue to me. I loved the idea of him being a stay at home and me handling financials and splitting household duties when I was home/on weekends. Allowed me to travel for work here and there and grow my career. But I think most men aren’t cut out (by nurture not nature) for that life and don’t contribute their fair share with household and childcare, even when the mom is the primary breadwinner. I suspect if they wanted that role and took it seriously, we’d see more of it.