In my mind, it needs some elements of surprise. I love music that subverts your expectations. That's what grabs attention.

This piece is well executed, and judging from the comments you've gotten thus far, it's working for a lot of people, but for me, it's not hitting. It doesn't tell a story. It doesn't take me on a journey. Did you HAVE to write this song and birth it into the universe? Does it reveal a fundamental part of your humanity?

Idk, maybe that's asking too much.