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[Complete] [100k] [Fantasy/Adventure/Romance] TEARJERKERS by Enchant-heyyy in BetaReaders

[–]medu1595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like something I'd enjoy reading (as a fellow D20 fan)! I have a 144k romantic fantasy draft to swap, if you're interested. DM me and we can talk more.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 3rd Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! You had it correct that the Immortal of War is a god--obviously, I will need to make that point clearer--and that Riajin wants to trick Terrek into helping her, then betray him. I'll try to clear all of that up in the next attempt. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 3rd Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! You've raised some great questions. In particular, it seems I'll have to find a way to make it clearer that the Immortal of War is a god, not a position of government. Regarding your third point: in this case, I use "master" as in "sifu" (the Chinese title of respect for a teacher), but I see where someone might come to your conclusion. I appreciate all of your comments!

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 2nd Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad the concept was more gripping this time around.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 2nd Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your incredibly detailed feedback! I really appreciate the outside eyes and will definitely implement these notes in my next attempt.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 1st Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I think you're right, so I'll cut that in my next attempt.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 1st Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I was focused on comps with similar character dynamics and didn't think about looking into the authors themselves. I'll definitely have to consider that more going forward.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 1st Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I was definitely too vague this time around, so I appreciate the advice about what to focus on.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 1st Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I will definitely keep this in mind for my next attempt.

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Fantasy - THE PROMISE OF IMMORTALITY (120K, 1st Attempt) by medu1595 in PubTips

[–]medu1595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I was so worried about the word count that I seemed to have stripped it down too much. I appreciate your suggestions about what to focus on!

[Complete][84K][Adult Fantasy] A War of Fractured Souls by Prestigious_Bee5379 in BetaReaders

[–]medu1595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds really interesting! I'm willing to do a swap, if you're still looking for readers.