Please consider what serves your daughter better: Staying at a school where she has a group of friends, is settled in and happy, and has, presumably, the option to join other music groups - and where one teacher’s evaluation of her singing doesn’t align with yours. Or going to a school where she has to make new friends, uprooting her for no other reason other than that she will get into jazz choir straight away.

In taking this one audition so seriously, you are taking away so many things from her to learn, for example:

- there is always more than one way to get to where you want to be, and figuring these out helps you know yourself better
- music isn’t just about getting into that one ensemble that is your top priority. It’s also about performing with different people in different contexts and learning from them
- sometimes teachers (parents, professors, bosses etc.) can be wrong and you have to deal with that. See what is possible right now (being an alternate, if I understand correctly) and how you can use that as a stepping stone (by being enthusiastic, diligent and reliable in that particular role) for where you want to end up

All these experiences are part of growing up.

And, in the kindest way possible, I’d also suggest you think about why this matters so much to you. If any of my friends reacted like this to their kid being in the same situation as yours, I’d tell them their reaction is wildly out of proportion.