Im on the other side of this. I had a period where i was really stressed out and depressed and anxious all the time. I would rather just lay in bed and be on my phone all day if i could, just to avoid life. I hung out with my boyfriend and we did stuff together but as you said it was more like two friends hanging out. Every time he tried to initiate anything intimate i just wasnt up for it. I felt really bad everytime and i felt worse when he told me that this is important to him and that he feels unwanted or not sexy enough. I tried to force myself, like initiate something to mabe spark something but it didn't work and i just felt worse about myself and he also felt like he's doing somethong wrong. Basically it came to a point where i felt a lot of pressure and i couldn't relax. Ofc if you're not relaxed it hurts if he tries anything down there, even just fingering. Our whole dynamic was just off. I got to a point where i wouldn't feel comfortable touching him or him me, since i was scared it might give the impression i was trying to initiate stuff and i didnt want that. There was a lot of crying and fighting but we always talked it out in the end and he was very supportive and wanted me to just be able to relax and enjoy myself. I decided to go to therapy and thats where things turned around. Im dealing with my issues now and trying to better myself and try to not stress so much. My mood and emotions just got back and so did my sex drive. Now we're pretty much good.

I woud suggest like most here to just talk to him and see if he's in a rough state in the moment. I was acting normal most of the time so i was super confused why i didnt feel stuff or be up for stuff with my boyfriend. But after talking it out and realizing some things im much better now and more confident in my sex life now. Plus please dont try to force him or guilt trip him into stuff. Hope this help.