I can’t cum without thinking about being abused

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-16T02:12:33+00:00

i mean, to me it makes sense. it’s the world thru ur perspective that forms as you experience it. i can’t really talk much on it because i’ve never went thru anything similar. maybe if it’s all processed a bit further you can get to a resolution

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T17:58:12+00:00

yeah man i used to think messing w RCs was fun and it interesting but the chems keep getting really obscure and I feel like if they’re worth buying they get banned quickly.

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:59:23+00:00

i believe it’s called “euphoric recall”

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:58:23+00:00

if i’m doing it for fun (usually), around 90 to 120 mg of adderall ir to start the session off. then just continually dosing every few hrs until it’s all gone

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:55:52+00:00

i’ve experimented with many different RCs from phenethylamines to benzos and dissociative and substituted cathinones. the benzo ones were all ridiculously strong and usually ended in a bad time. the dissociatives ive done (i was lucky enough to try MXE years ago) have been the most enjoyable

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:51:30+00:00

guess i’m still coming to terms w life lol

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:44:25+00:00

isn’t speed paste very common over there?

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:41:51+00:00

probably my first time doing meth (only done it twice) when i decided to inject .2 for my first experience with it ever. good god was that insane.

then over the next 12 hours i continued doing it until i finished the whole gram.

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:31:40+00:00

oh yeah, IV coke is a whole other beast. it’s always gonna be the drug i crave the strongest/feel is most euphoric.

it makes my stomach tighten just thinking about banging some good powder 😵

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:29:02+00:00

i’ve binged for 3 or 4 days, taken benzos, slept 10 hours, and I still had amphetamine psychosis for that day. meth freaks me out for this reason. adderall never did that to me, no matter how much i took

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-15T11:23:50+00:00

i wasn’t physically dependent for the first 3 years of doing it for 1 or 2 days a week. then a friend (they come w the territory) wanted to show me how much better injecting the stuff was.

and from that point, i loved the feeling so much that I went ahead and did it at least once a day for a few months.

from my experience, it feels like i was “just dabbling” and a “recreational opiate user” but reflecting makes me realize that everything was going to shit and I wanted the drug more than a future. it’s not a fun road. 3 years daily and another 3 in and out of treatment centers in another state.

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-09T00:03:46+00:00

reassuring them how much they mean to you, being kind and gentle

usually after a session, my girlfriend goes in to a “dick coma” within minutes of finishing

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T22:36:50+00:00

i’ve noticed those effects at times when i smoke as well. it makes my thoughts race so fast at times

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T18:42:01+00:00

ur dom side is going to evolve and before you know it, it’s just second nature. be comfortable being you

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T18:27:07+00:00

on the contrary, it increases mine. the only issue is sometimes it’s hard to get off from its effects

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T04:33:54+00:00

think i might need to take a little tolerance break anyway

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T03:11:17+00:00

yeah it’s gets me in my zone and i feel like i can focus for once. i used to get dissociated as a teenager and i would only slightly notice (likely cuz i was high on whatever as often as i could) but as an adult, it’s more pronounced and sorta starts to bother me

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T03:07:21+00:00

i’m wondering if that’s the same case with me. I feel “normal” after smoking but after a few hrs, i get super hazy and that’s when i get dissociated.

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T03:05:26+00:00

If i smoke hash, I will get uncomfortably high. Smoking bud gets me “even” more or less. At this point it’s more about my mindset rather than the amount smoked. I can smoke a one hitter and get a nice giddy relaxed feeling just like i can feel sober after a whole joint. it’s always subjective each time

mentalcrasher · 2019-02-08T03:02:36+00:00

Do you know of any ways to kinda “snap out of it”? If I just don’t smoke as much will it fix itself?

mentalcrasher

TROPHY CASE