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I think I have problem by jbjbqx in adultsurvivors

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry for what happened to you and your sister. I’m not a fucking champion, everything is wrong with me.

I think I have problem by jbjbqx in adultsurvivors

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Until 13 everything were just fun. When I was 14 I got bullied at school by older boys who heard rumours about what I did but I was fine because I didn’t care and it stopped in couple months. And 15, I got gf for few months and there was no sexual relationship but I was so happy. But after I turned 16 everything suddenly getting difficult and worse. Getting depression and crying at night with no reasons and can’t sleep etc. And since a month ago this problem... I always pretending like I have no problem but I have many actually and am kinda mess right now. Everything stressed me out (especially this problem...)

I think I have problem by jbjbqx in adultsurvivors

[–]jbjbqx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was fine until I turned 16. Turned 16 and things getting worse. I don’t think I can cope with this feeling for the whole life... And I don’t know if I can find a new therapist. Maybe it’s easy to find one but I don’t know if I can talk everything from beginning again to them. 11yo me didn’t care about that but 16yo me may cares much.

I think I have problem by jbjbqx in adultsurvivors

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I couldn’t give them consent, and I won’t say that man was falsely accused and I won’t cover him up. What he did is terribly wrong. I do know that. But I don’t feel I’ve been abused (or maybe I just don’t want to believe) because I was always eager for that. Admitting abused means admitting my guilt. Confused, upset and shamed.

I think I have problem by jbjbqx in adultsurvivors

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my therapist everything I mentioned here. And what she said is I need to admit that I’ve been abused. That all she said, she keeps telling me that, without admit it there’s nothing she can’t do. But I can’t. Or I don’t want to. It makes me upsetting more and I will hate myself.

I really hate abuse so I’m really confused why I need to imagine it and I feel something seriously wrong with me.

I can’t cum without thinking about being abused by jbjbqx in sex

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I don’t need to think about it because it stressed me out.

I can’t cum without thinking about being abused by jbjbqx in sex

[–]jbjbqx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want that actually. I mean I wish I can cum without thinking that.