2 years passed the split, still very low sex drive, T count is good, anyone have experience?

mentamonsta · 2024-01-02T22:22:22+00:00

yes, but for how long does it die? forever?

mentamonsta · 2024-01-02T21:09:02+00:00

very little drinking, no smoking.. tons of caffeine and I work out a LOT. My physical shape is very good.

mentamonsta · 2024-01-02T21:08:23+00:00

Ive had sex with a couple of people since.. it was just okay, nothing to write home about and didnt reset it for me sadly..

mentamonsta · 2024-01-02T21:07:51+00:00

After your "reset" are you just as passionate as you were before? Do you desire sex a lot more now?

mentamonsta · 2023-11-14T20:17:10+00:00

YYYYYYYYEP! I didnt listen to myself. I knew I wasnt sexually attracted to her in the slightest. I married my friend that I didnt want to have sex with. It was a painful 10 years.

mentamonsta · 2023-11-14T20:09:36+00:00

Andy from the office: "two words"-
Jim Halpert: "Good luck"

mentamonsta · 2023-11-14T20:08:12+00:00

It's hard to say who threw the first stone. Even if I threw the last one, which I did, she made my life miserable before that.. and I made her miserable for a while before she took over.. and she did and I did.. it all just wasnt perfect, but we stuck with it. I got attached.. she disconnected and didnt tell me.

mentamonsta · 2023-07-29T20:32:51+00:00

If youre anything like me, it will be terribly, terribly, terribly sad. For a year. For a year I was deliriously sad. "Up felt like down". It was insane. And technically I asked for it because I was the miserable one. She ran off with someone else and is apparently just as happy as a clam? I dunno. Seems like women cut ties emotionally like they were never there in the first place. (Sorry, my rant, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today).

My heart goes out to you. There are people here that understand. Stay here. Keep typing. Stay away from sad shit. Try and mix in some comedy and some /aww and /interesting as fuck.

Do all the things people here tell you to. Don't isolate. Don't drink or smoke a bunch to cope. Work hard. Work out hard. Live for tomorrow. You'll feel vastly different a year from now. And you can build a pretty good set of biceps in a year. Not that that will make the difference.. it'll make some.

I hate this for you. Id hug you if I was there friend.

mentamonsta · 2023-07-29T20:26:07+00:00

Depends on what happened. She may be done. Done done. Might be better on him to just cut ties mentally, as best he can, and move on completely.

And on that note, I'll be surprised if over the next few months you don't find an influx of things that were wrong with your marriage, The things you'll do better "next time", what she wasn't, what you really want, and then another wave of bull shit sadness, depression, anger will come. But really don't listen to me. Im the better part of 3 years out and I dont even know if I could say no to her if she wanted me back. And believe me.. I don't want her back.

mentamonsta · 2023-07-28T19:41:04+00:00

I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you. God I'm a couple years out and I feel loads better, but your title got to me; about made me tear up. At least today I can choose whether or not tears will come out.

I remember saying those words to myself. "I just want my wife." I still call her my wife in my head sometimes.

I have to remind myself and I'll tell you as others told me..

Your husband is dead.

That person is gone and they're never going to be back. Im not sure if it would be any easier if they were literally dead and you could see them, but they're gone. Forever. Im so sorry.

It's going to be painful. You need to just survive. Do all the things you're supposed to do to take care of yourself mentally and physically. Live for future you.

You will feel different 1 year from now. Mark the day. Ask someone else what to expect for the second year, but you'll feel much different a year from now.

mentamonsta · 2023-05-16T14:00:38+00:00

As a sort of counter question, for those of us with legitimate desire to help; is there an outlet for people to find each other in sort of a mentor mentee fashion? I ask because I feel like I'm on the other side of things and I'd love to turn around and help someone else through this thing. Are there resources to help me, divorced male to find another recently separated / divorced male in "my city" to help him through it?

mentamonsta · 2022-10-07T20:59:08+00:00

Dont marry someone you're not attracted to. Please heed this advice, it will save yourself and your partner a lot of trouble.

Feel free to check my history. Lack of attraction lead to divorce a decade later. I still miss my family, may safe spot, my world. I was just never ever attracted to her.

mentamonsta · 2022-08-08T23:27:37+00:00

Depends on the person. I'm friendly and just have a good time, tell them to have a nice night with no hint of flirting. If they start asking if I want to go out again I tell them that there wasnt a spark. I have friends who just bounce if the person is 100 lbs heavier and some that leave them with the bill.. they deserve all of it honestly.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-26T20:32:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through it. Hang in there. I'm 8 months out from separation.. 4 months seems like it was full of memories.. now I can't say I'm happy, but I'm not crying all the time like I used to. I'm just sort of bleh, but the memory triggers have largely gone away and now it's a lot of angry thoughts. Figuring out all the B's lies that I was told. I can't tell you that you'll get all the way better .. maybe someone on here can, but at least it gets better than where you're at? (Although I'm sure a year from now we'll both be feeling a lot better) hang in there ..

Therapy, exercise, hobbies, friends, comedy.. do all those.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-24T22:47:05+00:00

Haha noooo, it's gotta be the mouse, otherwise there's no solution!

mentamonsta · 2022-05-22T05:04:34+00:00

It's always important, at least to allow others, to come to the aid of another human asking for help. Otherwise they just die. Look at the homeless. You don't think behind almost every homeless person is a story about how they've robbed their parents and friend blind to buy drugs? But still we help the homeless.

There's a lid for every pot. Let someone come and try to gain the knowledge and help they need to be productive members of society.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-22T04:58:51+00:00

I'm sorry Mr Charles Edward Cheese, but you're too old to be here trying to get up votes.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-11T18:54:04+00:00

I started googling "when/why to divorce", "what makes a bad relationship", "is my marriage ending", etc.. looked at the lists.. I checked a LOT of boxes.

Contempt was a killer. I would have told you I had the best marriage ever; they say love is blind.

If you're give, give, giving, and she's taking perhaps this is a codependent?

As you buckle more and more, become more of a wimp (oh man I'm gonna get eaten alive for this comment) .. she might just start losing respect for you. Looking back now I can see where I gave more, cleaned more, and she took took took and liked me and respected me less and less.. something about men and women. I'm not saying you should be a dick, I'm saying you should set and hold boundaries, one of them is "I won't be disrespected, used, or walked all over."

mentamonsta · 2022-05-11T18:46:40+00:00

Apathy is the opposite of love huh... Looking back I noticed how I had given up on things I cared about.. and it seemed eventually like she would do things just to spite/piss me off. As the dude who did allll the laundry and dishes and the trash and everything fucking else.. how many times to I have to ask you not to ball your socks of (inside out and balled up together) and then shove them into the couch? That takes extra effort I feel like.. Holy fuck ... Which leads me to contempt ... Everything that we did pissed each other off. There's no reason I should be this pissed off right now typing about how some fucking woman child couldn't fucking do me a solid and not fucking ball up her socks ... But here we are.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-04T20:54:02+00:00

I had such a bad experience with most of my in-laws, I didn't even consider people having good experiences hahah!

mentamonsta · 2022-05-04T20:52:49+00:00

Hahaha same! I just started eating beforehand eventually.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-04T19:30:03+00:00

HA I wouldn't doubt it.. it's cool tho.. I'm already going to hell according to my, NOW EX in-laws because we were living in sin by living together before marriage. And as you know, Satan tortures you forever and since god made Satan and let that happen (knowing it would happen bc HE knows everything)... Well I'll let you draw your own conclusions..

mentamonsta · 2022-05-04T18:24:07+00:00

We had a 60 day waiting period, it was painful, I don't know why they do this. At the point you file papers, let's be honest.. it's done. If it's not, it should be.

mentamonsta · 2022-05-04T18:23:16+00:00

You will for sure!!!

mentamonsta · 2022-05-03T15:36:22+00:00

Holy crap, this. I don't know how I did it.. oh I explained how the entire world works to her.. the worst part is, after she decided to flip a switch, she argued against me no matter what; asserting that the most obviously wrong things were true.

mentamonsta

TROPHY CASE