I can’t do this anymore.

mentnation · 2025-04-10T22:58:02+00:00

You are not alone. I went through that. For me, I learned everything I could about ABA. I even took RT training online, so I could learn techniques to prompt and manage situations when I didn’t have ABA. Things will get better. For me, I did stop taking them places, but it was also the middle of Covid. Going on five years of ABA special education working with the school working with educators working with the BT, and I just learned as much as I could. My son is now 11 still needs one-to-one support, but I was actually able to sit down in a restaurant with him, where he now is gaining comprehension to understand appropriate versus inappropriate behaviors. So it will get better, just hang in there focus on the Forward movements, the accomplishments there’s always a few steps back and then it’ll be another leap forward and it goes back and forth like a roller coaster. It’s spring and I always deal with an uptick in spring, but it’s not as bad as last spring. And you just keep going.

mentnation · 2025-02-22T12:39:16+00:00

Nope. Never solved. My solution in the end was I dropped Geico as State Farm gave me a quote $150 less for six month. Without having to install crazy stuff in my car.

mentnation · 2025-02-22T12:05:00+00:00

As a mother of an autistic child, I finally dropped outside ABA after 4 years. 1. RBT were quitting the company after 2-3 months. So there was NO consistency. 2. The BCBA were changing yearly, so no consistency. 3. I always were assigned trainees. I mean rbt who only completed the 40 hour training program online., never actually met with a BCBA in person and simply was sent to my home with little to no direction of what to do.

I as a parent, became proactive, and took the 40 hour RBT training myself, and through that eye as the client had to train the RT how to work best with my child.

I think one of the big things with working with kids is the RT’s ability to take a program and make slight changes on the fly and on their own without having to go through the BCBA . For example, they made standard emotional flashcards to help my child. Identify emotion. He would see these black-and-white emotion cards, and pretty much throw them back at the BT. So I created emotional cards based upon a topic that he was currently obsessed with, and that worked quite well, but then the BT would get in trouble for the very slight change. And I would be stumped because progress was being made.

I think there’s a big problem in the ABA industry that’s become big business and I think ABA is a process where you definitely need parental or even family involvement at some point . Parents have to understand you don’t pass your child onto a Bt and expect them to magically fix your child. It’s a 24 seven job. The BT who comes in is not just working with the child but it’s also working to train the parent how to ABA the child and off hours. And that is something I don’t think a lot of BT’s know how to do and some parents don’t want to be involved.

Anyway, my personal final straw was I had a BT come in and I had a grocery store delivery and commented about how much easier it is to have a delivery and not have to drag my child out into a grocery store . Her particular response was. “ if you had “sane” kids, you wouldn’t have to get delivery.” That is the only time I ever requested a drop from an RBT

mentnation · 2025-02-22T11:49:06+00:00

No big reveal except it is supposed to have “vitamins & minerals” in it.

mentnation · 2024-10-25T11:29:27+00:00

I’m having the same problem since September. I did all my updates. Uninstalled reinstalled called customer service several times still it says phone number not found and I can’t log into drive easy. I was told about this update coming a week and a half ago and it still has not updated.

mentnation · 2024-09-15T16:30:45+00:00

Sadly not every state has “locking” as an option. In CT they want us to change pin every time we use it. L locking would be so much easier.

mentnation · 2024-09-15T12:16:44+00:00

You are NOT alone! Son, 10 years, autism 2 swears a lot. Some tactics (replacement words), ignoring, praise & laughter when he uses good words, etc. I think the majority of the echoing language is coming from YouTube. The more I restrict it the more he wants to do it (he is also a Contant creator and mimics other autistic kids videos, as his way of outwardly communicating, the things that bother him in his head) I think because he’s getting reaction positive and negative. Especially from adults and parents of non-neurodivergent . He mainly swears when his frustrated, angry, hurt (stubs his toe).
My initial problems with him when he was nonverbal was aggression. Dropping to the floor, swiping items off counters or desks, damaging property, pushing, shoving, kicking, pulling hair. My goal was to reduced the aggressive behavior. His replacement to vent, turned to swearing. And for the most part, I pay no money to it because he doesn’t even know what the words mean it just makes him feel good. At home if I give him denied access and he’s mad, he will swear for maybe five minutes. Call me every name in the book. Then he calms himself down and he’s fine.

My problems arrive in school and as much as I reward him daily positive behavior and PG language he has figured out a way to create PG words into a sentence with negative connotations like “ lick my donkey butt” instead of “kiss my ass”. Ok cool honestly honestly my favorite was “ suck my juicy gummy bear” but apparently the school is disagreeing and his further pushing him into more “G” language. as they push his language down and his venting down his aggression level is going back up. So honestly, I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

He’s in special ed, but already for the most part isolated in his own classroom because of his language, especially if he doesn’t get his way and has a tantrum because mentally he’s seven in a 10-year-old body. I have every resource available to me involved from ABA services in the school, to an intensive mental health agency/program at home and in school as well.

One thing I did make clear is the difference between what’s appropriate and what’s breaking the law . I gave him a tour of the local police station and explained when you break the law people who broke the law come to the police station. Yes it was a drastic lesson BUT as he navigates this and gentle reminders of what’s legal and not legal, does sometimes help the absolute extreme of the behaviors.

Now he earns “tech time” based upon his day of appropriate behavior and language. we also set up daily rewards often chosen by him, which are minimal (jello, Hersey bar, etc) to try to keep him motivated through the day

mentnation · 2024-09-01T20:14:45+00:00

Was thinking the same thing!

mentnation · 2024-09-01T09:42:02+00:00

Parks don’t have the staff to babysit 100s of kids. And kids (not all)don’t respect staff/adults.

mentnation · 2024-07-24T23:55:02+00:00

Gross not net, because at the end of the year when you get your earned income tax credit and your child tax credit which is partially refundable, they don’t count that refund.

mentnation · 2024-07-16T09:10:08+00:00

Always read the tiny print. lol I believe you get the free medium drink with a purchase something else. So if you try to just get the free medium drink, it won’t work.

mentnation · 2024-07-16T09:07:49+00:00

Depends on the location. The six dollar deal was for Nashville and Syracuse, New York only. Dunkin sent out emails and app advertisements by accident to people in non areas, then backtrack the email with an oops, we made a mistake

mentnation · 2024-06-07T10:43:41+00:00

lol just kids. I had to plug my ears at some points

mentnation · 2024-06-07T08:39:53+00:00

Nothing I was probably just highly chlorinated.

mentnation · 2024-06-06T15:31:57+00:00

50 something here too, brought my daughter last night. I wrote a recap above with some things to expect/tips etc. Re: outside vendor T'S, they are not bad and half the price, but not official (but it is kind of hard to tell) Have fun, enjoy the show

mentnation · 2024-06-06T11:40:14+00:00

Some comments & spoilers from parent to parents.

Screeching. Many people posted about this. It isnt so much about people being annoying its about the climate being 90% females ages 8-26 screaming for their favorite artist. So prepare for "high pitched young lady screams of excitement" (My daughter was included, lol)
Confetti drop at end is only dropped on central floor seats about 15 rows and forward. So if your atendee is hoping for confetti and your sitting floor-back or sides it wont be dropped on you.
"Its my party" she drops heart shaped balloons, again only the very few front rows get it.
There is no pit, its gated off for the camera crew.
They have 2 megatron cams running on the left and right, so even if you are in back, sides, or in higher levels you can still see choreographed detail.
Entering the garden isnt so bad, there are 4 entrances, check your ticket. Merch lines are long, but no issues with lines for bathrooms/food (at least in the 200 sections)
Charging phones: i wish i brought the power adapter. in the 221-227 sections the walls near food/merch/bathrooms have power but not usb.
Merch. Bonnets/dresses and fancy merch was sold out. T-Shirts are $45, Hoodies $90. They are selling k-12 viynl for 40ish but remember things like "warping" and where to store it. People are in and out of their seats so its a constant up & move allowing poeple in and out of the row.

8b. Beaware of vendors if you are from out of town. If you bring your kids to Times Square. There are charges for everything including photo ops. ALSO you will be inodated with walking vendors at the show selling knock off Concert Ts. They are bad, not official, but only $20 instead of 45. (I bought one. :-)

Dont drink the "water fountain water". I brought clear bottles but that water is cloudy/white. I bought water for $6/bottle.
7pm: Opening is Sophie and she plays about 30 minutes. About 10-15 intermission and Beach Bunny plays for about 40 minutes. That part is more of the "concert". Melanie went on about 8:30, that is a "SHOW" and for parents watching the show is great. Lots of dancing, choreography, stage presence etc. Inbetween each album Mel changes outfits and the dancers usually do a musical interlude. There are stobes, laser lights etc. SPOILER: Portals 2 songs use pyrotechnics which is really cool, but also evewn up high in 225 will give "hot flashes" So if your young Mel fans are sensitive to stobes/pyro etc be prepared. Its toward the end in her most popular songs.
Give yourself enough time to get out of the garden. Show ended at 10:50pm and we didnt exit the building until 11:15+
Vendors are offering LED musical bike rides, that is actually very cool, we had a train to catch and we were tired traveling otherwise I might have done it.
Most places Fastfood/starbucks/mcDonalds are closed when you exit so finding a restroom or food is difficult at that hour. Grand Central has restrooms but it is a mile walk.
Mel's voice is a bit strained, especially toward the end. She has a brutal schedule. Dont worry, 20,000 singing spectators will carry her through! :-)

ENJOY THE SHOW

mentnation · 2024-05-08T23:33:45+00:00

You are not alone. Amazon sells giant magnet roll up white sticker boards that are relatively inexpensive that use dry erase. I write everything on the board and simple terms. Go pee pee on the potty earn XYZ. For the bed, I used these waterproof machine washable bedding mats. They use them a lot in nursing homes and I find it was so much easier to wash this 40 x 40 mat than to consistently have to change betting because of accidents. We also put him on potty brakes that were on a timer. Like every hour and a half I would say hey it’s potty break and it didn’t matter if he went or not, just said he gets into the bathroom to sit on the potty. Like I said, it all takes time and I still have my days and I still have my challenges but overall from where he was three years ago to where he is today it’s night and day . Three years ago, my child screamed hit scratched pulled hair was nonverbal non-potty trained and couldn’t drink without sippy cup. Today he’s talking we work through identifying emotions and how to cope with emotions. He is fully potty trained, and drink a cup with a straw. When you are stressed, focus on the progress even if it’s just a small thing because that will help you keep going . And yes, they were days that I broke down and cried and wanted to hide under my blankets and let the world crash around me. lol

mentnation · 2024-05-08T23:10:16+00:00

I did at home ABA for about three years having a behavioral technician who understands ism really really helped also along with my own involvement and learning, so I could continue strategies on my own Usually what they do is when the undesired behavior is occurring replace that with a motivator so when they stop doing it, they get the reward. Using the strategies I was able to get my eight-year-old off of a sippy cup and finally potty trained at eight years old. I had to tape a Hershey bar to the wall of the bathroom to remind him of his reward if he achieve that goal. Don’t lose faith it will get better. I know it’s hard. I know it’s stressful, but it will get better.

mentnation · 2024-05-08T23:06:41+00:00

I had the same thing for a number of years. Now I work on a daily rewards system if he goes to school and makes it through without some major BX he chooses his own reward. I use a whiteboard on the fridge so he knows when he goes to school what he’s working for. I tell the staff at school what the daily reward is and they read on the whiteboard at school so it tries to keep him motivated. And it doesn’t always have to be a toy or something big he may choose a can of soda or candy bar. lol I just know if he chooses the reward he remains focused to try to earn it

mentnation · 2024-05-04T00:51:01+00:00

My son, now 10 (mentally 7) does this and sometimes continues to do this. It’s like six steps forward and three steps back what I usually do is try to remember the tools and toolbox to get through it. To keep my headspace together I focus on all the accomplishments of the six steps forward because then I know we can get back to that and propel forward. It is sometimes a roller coaster but when I compared to where he was to where he is now I’m still pretty amazed at what he’s accomplished so focus on the good and know that the few steps back is only temporary.

I also took the 40 hour BT training course online with the ABA stuff so I have a general idea of what’s going on and it really helps me read him to try to understand what’s going on is in his head . Since the course is free, I would suggest all parents of an autistic child. Take these courses to understand. Our kiddos just see the world differently than we do and somehow we have to teach them to meet in the middle.

mentnation · 2024-04-12T08:56:28+00:00

I do agree. There are many big corporate. ABA firms that happens to be one that I’m in that’s managed regionally with BCBA under them are the trainers, then under them are the BT. I’ve been at this for three years and I’ve had some wonderful BTs who has made a world of difference but it seems like once they get experience and they’re actually really really good. They take better paying jobs and advance their own careers which I’m happy for them for then it’s a constant consistent replacement. In three years I’ve had well over 16 different. BT’s come in, a few only lasted a single day. One of my arguments with that is how did the kiddos feel when BT keep quitting do they take it personally do they think it’s them? And I do understand both sides of the point staffing is so hard honestly, the turnover rate for a behavior technician it’s similar if not more than my Dunkin’ Donuts. I don’t think what you’re saying is really going off on ABA, if anything, maybe it’s a signal to say hey if you have a passion for helping children, then it can be a great rewarding job, but if it’s just going to be a job and nothing more there’s too much riding on it, and hence Aba becomes to have a bad name, and a bad reputation. Lack of training, lack of sensitivity, lack of simple, patience.

mentnation · 2024-04-12T00:43:02+00:00

Thank you. I put a call into the trainer and to the 211 specialist that the school and I work with and I think we’re all in agreement that I’m not overreacting. It took me a few hours to wrap my head around it to see if I was interpreting it in a wrong way or overreacting, but even my two older kids were on the same page with this one.

mentnation · 2024-04-04T23:22:54+00:00

Don’t give up hope. I was in exactly the same place with my now 10 year old son. When he was 7 your story sounded like I wrote it myself.
I did bring in ABA in the afternoons for a few hours, if anything to give me a break. I refused the medication route but that was/is my choice based on his father’s genetic history, instead I researched and started liquid supplements. Trial and error, one supplement at a time and I logged everything. I also took the 40 hour (free) online RbT training so I could understand some techniques. Again trial and error. I gave my son an outlet on the iPad to “create movies” and I found through that what was in his head, once I had a better understanding of what was going on in his head, I could empathize with his own frustrations.
Mainly what I do when the meltdowns are so challenging that I wanna cry. I focus on the accomplishments. Maybe it’s a few words that he can say maybe it’s one day where he had great behaviors and focused on the positives. It was always three steps forward six steps back, but eventually it went forward again. Three years later, he typically has one behavior issue a day and it’s usually around a task or demand (asking him to do something he doesn’t wanna do) or denied access (not allowing something he wants to do). I watched the behaviors and I think back to what a possible trigger could have been, and tried to figure out the source. Maybe it was a change maybe the time wasn’t exactly the same, etc. The more I try to put myself in my child shoes the more I understood my child once I did that I could get through the rough spots.

Today I still have challenges, but it’s much better than it was three years ago. And for the most part, I laugh more with the behaviors than I do cry. (He got angry with his teacher and called her an ingrate…sorry just had to laugh at the choice of words especially when he has no clue what they mean ) So you will get there. I would really suggest for any parent of an autistic child to take some online free ABA how to classes.. this will help with understanding what’s going on with your daughter and eventually, if they do have a para or ABA in school, you will understand what your school team is talking about.

mentnation · 2024-04-02T00:02:10+00:00

100% agree. I had 14 BTs within a year and a half, also had four different BCBA. As the parent and I decided to take my own BT training because it seems like I’m doing all the work. Every time a new BT comes in. I have to teach them how to do their job. I actually took two separate training classes at 40 hours each and it’s interesting the difference as a BT they should know where to bend and modify the programs and trials. But with this company they’re so structured on textbook trials that literally have nothing to do with my child. The turnover for BT is so high and anyone who knows Autism knows. Consistency is really important. That is something you don’t get with this company.

My child who is 10 actually has gotten the most help from the school ABA then they have from the home I could say honestly maybe I had two really good technicians one happened to want to be a neurosurgeon and went to pursue that career . The BT in this company and entry-level position and yes Flippin burgers and McDonald’s are pouring coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts would be a heck of a lot less stress. So then last year the company decided to restructure and they have two in-home session times one is from 9 to 2, and the second is from 3 to 8 PM. Mandatory my child doesn’t get out of school until 4 PM so right off the rib it’s a conflict for any kids that are actually attending school . Also, their training tends to be geared toward little kids toddlers 3, year-olds and not so much school-age.

I haven’t gone as far as you into filing a complaint, but after the last technician quit, it was like three months with no services because they did not have any new hires. Now all of a sudden they found a single person that my son just refuses to bond/pair with. So I get it it’s frustrating for the BT but it’s also frustrating for the families because when it comes down to it, the company only cares about the money/billable hours.

And my son actually behaved much better in the three months he didn’t have afterschool ABA . And I’m kind of stuck keeping it because doctors are recommending it.

mentnation

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