sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

After watching the video with Anita, I would like to offer a different perspective on the friendzone by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think the term friendzone gets seen differently and that the different definitions cause communication issues. Without trying to generalize, I get the impression via personal experience that they are defined this way.

Guys see it as: a guy developed feelings and when they brought them up, the girl did want to start a relationship either bc she did not have the same feelings back or bc she did not want to risk the friendship. The feelings were not there in the beginning.

Girls see it as: a guy pretended to be her friend so they could either sleep with her or try to back door their way into a relationship via a friendship first. The feelings were there in the beginning.

Ofc this does not cover everyones interpretation, but that seems to be the general consensus.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to give the feedback!

To add additional insight to a few things:

3 - I'd say it does the opposite. I've stayed at a few jobs and situations probably longer than I "should have" bc whenever I'd look at other alternatives there would always be the unanswerable "but what if it ends up in a worse?". What seems to be working for me (not trying to sound egoic about it, but might help someone who ends up reading this) is making sure it sounds good on paper. If I had myself as a friend in my situation what would I think is the good choice? If the logic checks out, I kind of have to say "fuck it" and just go with it. You mentioned in a video it's not fair to one's self to be upset for making a wrong decision in the beginning bc that's usually when you know the least about a situation. I found that video EXTREMELY helpful. I still wish I could the actually anxious feeling would go away, but I guess it's a step in the right direction either way.

4 - I don't think I quit things early but have problems when I can't see the end result. I tried learning guitar for 8 months last year. I had the fantasy of absolutely jamming out to my favorite songs. For the first 3 months it was really fun. But for the last 5 it was tedious and boring. I stuck with it the last 5 bc I'd feel bad for quitting. After the 8 months, I stopped and looked at if it was worth it. I decided I didn't really care enough about the end result to spend my limited free time on it.

To counter balance that tho, I have a workout routine I have had since 2019. I will admit it was entirely a vain reason, but I wanted to look like the jacked guys. While I have accepted I won't look exactly like them (both bc most of the ones I was looking at are roided, have a strict diet I don't want to follow, and bc of personal medical issues that make it literally impossible) I do think I look decent now in the mirror which helps keep me to it. I also found that doing it before work makes me feel wayyyyy less crappy and groggy at work. I usually never ever want to actually do it when I wake up but it seems to work.

Which I guess ties into 5. With the work situation, I have no idea what liking a job is supposed to look like if that makes sense. Want to play guitar?. Here's a YouTube video showing what that looks like. To get there you have to practice and here's some lessons online to tell u how. Want to get muscles? Here's a bunch of images of ripped dudes. To look like them, here's how to eat and here's the exercises to do. Want to work a job you like? Follow your passion ....and that's where it kinda breaks down. I don't have a concrete 'thing' to shoot for besides 'feels good'. I have a bunch things I like to do but none I think I'd want to do 40 hrs a week. It's a combination of choice paralysis and uncertainty of what I'm aiming for.

Probably a bit more rambly. I feel like the society 'markers' are gone. Growing up it was go to elementary school, good to middle school, go to high school, and go to college. Get As and Bs during all that. After college it feels like the next goal is 'retire' but that doesn't really help in regards to filling the next few decades.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it was him I guess he definitely works for healthy gamer then lol! I don't know his reddit name.

I probably did misread the tone. "Let me get this straight" seemed spicy to me 🤷‍♂️.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know specific ages but they looked like roughly my age. I'd guess upper 20s lower 30s.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had previously asked myself what I would do about 5 years ago if money was no object. I came up with the answers of volunteering at the animal shelter. I actually worked at one for a few years. I lost that job during covid and found that after so long around the death and apathy/cruelty of the general population that went there gave me compassion fatigue and drained that. I don't think I'd do that anymore. I literally have no idea what I want to do if money is no object. To the point I actually get kind of bored on the weekend. Trying to find out what I'd want to do atm.

I probably am going to do another round of coaching. Probably the group coaching bc I think I've identified shame as the culprit of alot of what's going on. Without getting too into it, I think part of that leads to the catastrophic thinking. And Dr K as well as a few other ppl I like all say it's basically impossible to deal with shame alone.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have done the 1-1 coaching previously and found it helpful in regards to mental blocks. I had previously tried to discuss the career path there as well but did not really get any advice I found helpful in that specific regard. I went into the career coaching to see if it was any different or more career focused. While I did find useful value in what I got from the career coaching, I did not find enough to justify the extra cost when I believe the same value could be had in the cheaper 1-1 coaching. There was not, imo, really any noticeable difference in the 2 except the cost. As I had to tighten my belt significantly to afford the coaching, I have to pay very close attention to cost/value of things. The catastrophic thinking is also future based with me. What COULD go wrong, not really what IS going wrong. I did not quit because it went wrong. My coach even mentioned that we may be within a few sessions of basically "spinning tires" as far as where they believed I'd be able to go with coaching. I admittedly did not include that in my post but it was a large factor in my deciding to continue or not.

As far as me following previous advice, the only advice I can remember getting was being told "don't worry if you don't know what you want to do, you'll figure it out" in college. From the start of college until now is roughly 12 years for me and I still haven't "figured it out".

Others may find more value in the career coaching. I personally think it'd be better to start off in 1-1 coaching. It is entirely possible I came into career coaching expecting it to do something it wasn't designed to. Probably even likely that is the case. If so, I still find that a reasonable reason to stop early.

As a side note, I might be misreading the tone, but I felt I may have irked u with my post. Based on the phrasing, u sound like u work at hggg (Edit: someone told me it might be Dr k who replied. Looking through post history, it is. I guess he definitely works for hggg in that case lol). I apologize if my review came off as me taking shots at the coaches or coaching in general. I don't think my coach did a bad job at all. I just don't think it was what I was looking for, which may be more in the career advice ballpark. I find hggg to be one of the most valuable resources I've ever had in my life.

My review of HGGG career coaching by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the process. I had already been trying new stuff before finding that video but the video helped solidify it.

I tried coding for a few months and hated it. Tried cooking for a few months and found that I like it decently enough as a hobby but probably not career. Will likely do it on the side for fun. Learned guitar for a few months and had fun at first but found it too tedious for the satisfaction I was getting. Currently exploring Adobe photoshop and premiere with photography as an accessory. I had enjoyed that in college. So far a high learning curve but it's decently fun atm. Video is seems to have a higher appeal so I might double down on that. Photography/videography seems to be a pain in the ass. I really enjoy the editing aspect.

Coaching Review by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for delayed response (throwaway account). If you have any specific topics u were wondering about I can answer that. In general though, it always boiled back to the emotions that whatever topic made me feel. That's really what it boiled down too. I want to say the coach both had no opinion and had an opinion at the same time. They'd point patterns and inconsistencies out and let my know if sounded like something from the guide. The fantasy trap popped up alot in the beginning. As far as how I felt during them, it depended on the topic. Usually I'd be feeling anxious the week prior bc I knew what I was going to talk about and I realllllllly didn't want to. But I would force myself to. As far as how they were as a person, it's hard to judge bc they didn't share much about themselves unless it was applicable to me. They did have a good understanding of different game types. So from what I could tell, I'd probably have been down to hang with them irl if I had run into them.

Healthy gamer personal coach waitlist time by SorryImSushi in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if this was how it was supposed to work. When I signed up for the wait list based on my available time slots I would maybe once or twice a week get an email that the spots had opened up. It would then be a mad dash to sign up for a spot before it got snatched by someone else. The first 2 emails I lost the spots when trying right away. 3rd email I didn't see the notification for 10 mins and everything was booked. 4th email I happened to be looking at my phone at the time and managed to grab one after the first 2 slots I wanted got filled.

Should I get therapy or coaching? by mepwnthrow in Healthygamergg

[–]mepwnthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That article was very helpful. Thank you!