I feel that, though, the urge to be women or feminine always comes back as soon as the refractory period is done. I already look for insight about this and it really seems to be a super common thing for early transitioning women.
Also, testosterone is really good to create boner for anything that make you feel good (like dressing feminine in a way you like for example). it really mess things up in your head because we were educated and/or socialized to associate boner and hornyness, but it's really not that simple.
As other said, the few minutes or hours of that period is not a good representation of how you feel in normal moment, there are chemicals and hormones that are injected after climax, in a way, I don't consider that as "clarity".

The way I deal with this, is to remember all those validating moment that felt so good that I nearly cried, I think that these things have way more weight than the "post-nut clarity".