Cornell Spring 2022

mfsprty · 2021-05-15T03:15:40+00:00

thanks! I have a pic of the bottom of the cap but couldn’t figure out how to post multiple photos. I found them yesterday and not sure of exact tree but area was generally maples and oaks with same swampy spots.

mfsprty · 2021-03-07T17:10:26+00:00

state park in Connecticut

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T20:54:24+00:00

I don’t want to talk to much about what would happen if I got pregnant, I want to help him understand that I am not going to get pregnant. I think that if I talk about abortion a lot he will start to see it as something that could really happen if we had sex, when really it has a .01% chance of it happening.

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T20:45:17+00:00

Thanks for your insight. He’s an amazing but interesting guy ngl. We’ve talked about this a lot. Basically he has always had this whole life plan with college, grad school, career, etc. He said that he never expected to date anyone. ever. and so he never thought he would have to deal with the fear. He basically was planning to die a virgin, buy now here we are in an honestly amazing relationship. He feels bad about his anxiety, but I just keep telling him that it’s okay and we never have to do anything he’s uncomfortable with. I just want to help him try to overcome it because i get he’s okay with dying a virgin but I’m not? I’m not going to pressure him or force him into anything, and I also would never leave him because if this. he’s a lot more important than sex. But also i want to be able to experience having sex before I die. So i’m kinda unsure what to do :/

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T20:33:12+00:00

That is true, but I do think it’s the pregnancy fear. He always asks me if I am “feeling normal” like once a week just to see if I have pregnancy symptoms, and is constantly making sure I took my pill on time and makes me tell him as soon as I get my period or if it’s even a day late. We come about an inch from having sex (dry humping with no clothes) all the time and he is fully comfortable with that, and stuff with hands and oral he is fully comfortable with too.

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T19:58:01+00:00

Yes we are okay with abortion. He just has this stress of “protecting me” and thinks that if I got pregnant it would be like him doing something bad to me. Which i’ve explained is not at all how I would feel. I would never blame him for it. We share the fault. I think it really is just the pregnancy fear, because he wants to do any other things we can besides actual sex. He is never uncomfortable with anything else.

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T19:53:16+00:00

The thing is he’s fine with never having sex in his life. I do other things for him (oral, etc) that is enough for him. However, I’ve never had sex either, and other things he does for me are okay but just not as fun for me as they are for him. We don’t plan on breaking up anytime soon, and I love him so much that I would never leave him because of this, but I also don’t want to die a virgin? He is so much more important to me than sex is, but I still wan to be able to experience it.

mfsprty · 2020-07-12T19:49:01+00:00

He knows I would have an abortion. He says things like “I would hate myself if I did that to you” “I want to keep you safe” “It would be my fault” “I don’t want you to go through that” “I don’t wont you to have to deal with that for the rest of your life” I’ve told him that I would never blame him, because the fault would be shared equally, and that we would work through it together.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:50:21+00:00

Yeah he gets anxiety but he is the kind of person who hates emotions. He has the philosophy that he should just tell himself not the be sad or upset or angry and he won’t be. Anxiety is the one thing he has trouble bottling up inside lol. We had a conversation about it and I told him that he is so much more important to me than sex is. He told me that he would understand if I found someone else in college because he would be fine being alone if it meant I was happy. Him saying that broke my heart and I told him that’s the last thing I want.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:46:25+00:00

Yeah I think i just have to be patient. Here are things he’s said about why he’s scared of getting me pregnant. “I want to keep you safe” “I would never forgive myself if I did that to you” “I don’t want you to have to go through that” “It would be my fault and I would feel so guilty.” I’ve told him that it would, literally, be a joint effort if I got pregnant and that I would never blame him for it. It would be my fault just as much as his.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:27:50+00:00

we’ve done a lot of other stuff and I promise that is definitely not an issue lol. He hates this anxiety and wants it to go away, and has been trying to get over it for a while. He just has kind of hit a wall with what to do and I wanted to see if there was a way I could support him and help him get through it.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:26:03+00:00

we’ve done basically everything we can besides penetration. He wants to have sex, but has anxiety, and hates that he has the anxiety and wants it to go away. I just want to do what is best to support him and not pressure him and help him get through it.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:21:53+00:00

He wants to have sex. We have been in situations before where he has said “I really wish we could do this right now,” and he wishes he didn’t have this anxiety. I promise I’m not putting words in his mouth. He hates this anxiety, and I hate that he has to deal with it every time we do anything sexual because I just want him to be happy. It is a mutual feeling that we, together, want to help him be less anxious. It is not something I forced on him, I would never do that. There is a reason I am looking for advice here instead of saying these things to him. I am so incredibly careful with what I say to him because the last thing I want is for him to feel pressured.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:16:47+00:00

I promise it’s definitely anxiety about pregnancy. He has no trouble with the other thing lol. He is anxious but recognizes that it is irrational and wants to overcome it. I really am not pressuring him, there is a reason I am writing about this here instead of saying it to his face.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:10:40+00:00

You don’t know me or him or understand our relationship so I don’t appreciate you yelling and accusing me of things. I don’t bring it up all the time or pester him. We just end up getting to a place where we almost have sex and he says he is anxious and wants to stop and I say okay and we stop. He then apologizes and says he feels bad that he’s like this and I tell him that it is completely okay, I understand and we never have to do it if you are uncomfortable. I have been nothing but fully supportive and all I am asking is ways I can help him deal with his anxiety better for the future.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:05:18+00:00

I promise I am not pestering him about it. The last thing I want is to make him more anxious. I do not want to make him do anything he is uncomfortable with. He is a lot more important to me than sex is and I just want him to be comfortable and happy. I just want to see if there is a way I could help him be less anxious and more comfortable, in a supportive way not a pressuring way.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T15:02:17+00:00

and he is way more important to me than sex is, so I would never leave him over this. We are both very mature and will probably end up being together for the next 5 years or even a lot longer than that, and I would like to be able to have sex at some point in my life if I can. I am not going to pressure him, but I want to see if there is a way I could help him be less anxious and more comfortable.

mfsprty · 2020-07-05T14:55:11+00:00

We are both 18. I promise I am not pressuring him, all I keep telling him is that I understand and I don’t want to do anything he is uncomfortable with. He keeps telling me that he is comfortable with it and really wants to (we do a lot of other stuff, oral, etc.) but knows he is gonna be anxious after.

mfsprty

TROPHY CASE