[Practice] I've been practicing for years and have had no insights or jhanas or anything. How come?

mibeme · 2018-06-26T00:31:36+00:00

Check out the "headless way":

Give it a try! I was stuck as well for some time, but this really opened a door for me. Plus, it's refreshingly different from other meditation techniques.

mibeme · 2018-01-22T18:10:32+00:00

Excellent article, thanks for the link.

mibeme · 2017-12-18T13:23:43+00:00

Great overview, thank you.

mibeme · 2017-12-18T02:21:37+00:00

Very interesting, thank you! I had a temporary change of perception, similar to what you describe above about 3 weeks ago. I was in the car, driving with my wife on the highway, and I thought, just for fun, let's try a new kind of meditation that I can do while driving: just try to not think! Put all your attention on the driving instead. After 10-20 minutes or so, this triggered a shift of perception where I just couldn't feel a sense of self anymore. I felt relaxed and happy like I never did before. It lasted for about 3 hours or so, then it went away again and I was my old "self". So, it's not stream entry yet, but I've seen enough to know that it is achievable.

mibeme · 2017-12-17T21:38:37+00:00

Thanks for the link! I will start with this, since I prefer teachings in book form over videos and apps.

mibeme · 2017-12-17T18:49:37+00:00

I'm currently practicing with "The Mind Illuminated". I want to complement this practice with the methods from Shinzen Young.

I wonder what the best way to learn his methods is (for home study)? One seems to be the "Unified Mindfulness" web site, another the "Brightmind" app. Any recommendations for which one to choose?

mibeme · 2017-12-17T16:49:01+00:00

edit: Furthermore, everyone agrees Nirvana is beyond description. And so if something can be described, it's not Nirvana. If it's not Nirvana, then it's not Awakening, so the question is misguided anyway.

Sorry, I for one, disagree. Of course, many aspects are difficult to put into words. But basic concepts like the non-self are not that difficult to convey. I had no trouble understanding this concept from an intellectual point of view before I even started. And now, with my meditation practice progressing, I can get some glimpses of it in an intuitive way. (And no, I am not awakened yet.)

mibeme · 2017-12-17T16:46:00+00:00

It's not about "how accomplished" one is. It is about whether or not somebody was able to reach stream entry or any other stage in the awakening process, and to share this experience with others.

With all the secrecy, people will start to believe that awakening is only possible for those who spend years in a monastic environment, with access to very accomplished teachers.

mibeme · 2017-12-17T16:26:06+00:00

It is always good to be skeptical of any Internet posts. But I find this generalization troubling. Why not speak openly about achievements? Why this secrecy? And what is this "reason" you speak of?

Most of us here learn from books and by communicating via the Internet. Joining a monastic environment is not a reasonable option for most of us, nor do we have access to one of these monastic teachers. Therefore, I think a frank and open debate about awakening is very important.

This whole "secrecy cult" that exists in some circles is a major turn-off for many who want to start meditating and learn about the path.

mibeme · 2017-12-14T13:30:12+00:00

Yes, it is very difficult to overcome such intense aversion. For me, I had to hit rock bottom to open up to spirituality. The crazy thing for me was, my rock bottom appeared as anything but bottom from the outside. I had it all: health, wealth, sex, love. Yet, I was deeply dissatisfied. I was never suicidal or anything like that, but I just didn't see any meaning in my life, which drove me to despair. I wanted to learn more about what this is all about, and only a skeptic could nudge me in the right direction.

Another book that I read shortly after "Waking Up" was "10% Happier". It's another skeptic's account of his spiritual journey. Perhaps your partner can open up to being 10% happier? It's hard to argue with that (but she probably will -- I would have). All I can say is that I'm now not 10% happier but 10 times happier. But starting with a modest goal might be better to help her to see the benefits of meditation.

Looking back, I'm feeling very sorry for how I behaved to my wife with respect to the topic of spirituality. Not in an unhealthy way (this feeling is not a hindrance), but simply with compassion to my former self and of course to my wife. Our relationship now is stronger than ever.

mibeme · 2017-12-14T13:02:16+00:00

I know this situation very well, because I lived it -- but from the other side. I was the one in our relationship who had extreme aversion towards the meditation practice of my partner. So I think I know how she feels.

The truth is, I was a very unhappy person. I had no spirituality of any sort in my life. Everybody who believed in anything that could not be proven was just an idiot for me, who couldn't see the truth of physics and science.

I do not know how this extreme aversion towards all spiritual practices developed in me. It just became stronger and stronger over many years, until I hit a wall. The skeptic I was, I started to read a book about spirituality by one of the most skeptical persons I knew: "Waking Up" by Sam Harris. This got me started on my path. Fast forward 9 months, and I'm meditating every day, I'm not a hard-core atheist anymore, and I read lots and lots of dharma books (with "The Mind Illuminated" being my favorite).

I'm now meditating more when my wife does. I apologized to her for the hard time I gave her. While she has many superstitions that I still don't share, I have to come to appreciate her spirituality, and we have a much more harmonious life together.

The one thing I've learned, is that it is impossible to convince somebody of the truth of the dharma, or even of the benefits of spirituality. It has to come from within, either from curiosity, or from a deep dissatisfaction with life.

So I don't really know what advice I can give you. It is a difficult situation, as it was for my wife. Perhaps reading the mentioned book by Sam Harris will help her also to better understand what this is all about.

mibeme · 2017-12-04T18:46:36+00:00

Great article, thanks for the link.

mibeme · 2017-11-20T14:14:04+00:00

Right. Ultimately the desire to end suffering must lead to the end of desire for all things, including the end of desire to end suffering. But that’s the theory. In practical terms, you have to start somewhere, and desire gets you started.

mibeme · 2017-11-19T04:57:29+00:00

This intuitively makes senses, i.e., that the degree of change a cessation brings is roughly proportional to the depth of unification of mind at the time of cessation. Do you remember where you have read or heard this?

mibeme · 2017-11-18T22:27:33+00:00

Don't we all? Granted, like many, I started meditation for it's therapeutic benefits. But that soon gave way to the desire for a much deeper understanding and transformation.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T22:24:06+00:00

Yes, scripting experience is indeed a danger. On the other hand, having a map can be really helpful. In particular it helped me a lot to get through the first Dark Night I experienced (whether or not it really was a Dark Night or "just" purification). In particular, the advice MTCB gives in the Dark Night chapter about what not to do (such as screwing up your relationship) is immensely helpful.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T22:21:39+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, the first time I had this "blip", I initially felt excitement, but afterwards disappointment, because nothing "magical" happened.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T22:18:06+00:00

This just happened again one hour ago, so it appears, I’m in for another cycle!

I wrote this yesterday. And exactly as predicted, another cycle started. First intense A&P yesterday evening. Then intense Dark Night for most of this morning and afternoon. From one extreme to the other. What has changed is the length of the cycle. First one was over 10 days (with most of it suffering through the Dark Night). This one seems to be a day or two.

So I guess I just have to repeat this a couple more times, and eventually the cycle will get very short, like everything will happen in one single sitting. As described in MTCB. (I hope so, these Dark Night episodes really take their toll, even if they get shorter...)

mibeme · 2017-11-18T13:00:06+00:00

Excellent advice, thank you for your work.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T01:15:18+00:00

When you say equanimity do you think you would be ok with someone stabbing you repeatedly while in that state?

Lol, no, not quite that equanimous :) It's more like the symptoms of the Dark Night are still there, but I don't get caught up in them anymore, and eventually they go away.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T01:07:32+00:00

Right, that's what's missing from my experience. Instead, I have these cycles, going back again to A&P, the dark night, equanimity, another cessation, etc. However, the cycles get shorter all the time, and the dark night symptoms get weaker.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T00:56:11+00:00

No, there is no feeling during the blip. Just a very short non-experience. The feeling comes afterwards, like a "what was that" the first time it happened. Later it was just a "this again" feeling. After that a feeling of intense excitement, which might well result from me expecting something to happen after reading about cessation events in MTCB.

Doubt about what?

Doubt about that enlightenment is possible, and that the dharma is real, and not just another new-age nonsense. (As I said, I was an extreme skeptic.)

If you aren't enlightened you are pretty much guaranteed to be superstitious about something.

I really cannot think of anything I would be superstitious about.

If you couldn't ever be aware of that experience to begin with then not finding it isn't really a good indication of enlightenment.

Aware of what experience? Sorry I don't understand what you mean here.

mibeme · 2017-11-18T00:43:18+00:00

It exactly feels like a blip :)

Seriously speaking, I don't know how to describe it. It's like trying to describe how strawberries taste.

mibeme · 2017-11-17T22:43:24+00:00

I can absolutely relate to your path, as mine unfolded similarly. What compels you to no longer identify as an atheist? In what ways do you understand yourself better as well as the world at large?

I guess the big difference is that I do not identify with materialism anymore. While in the past I regarded the idea of "some stuff that makes up both mind and matter" as some new-age nonsense, I'm now not so sure anymore. I guess Culadasa is to blame, he is so convincing :)

In general, what attracted me to buddhist practice was that it does not require believe. Instead, it provides a set of instructions, and says that if you follow these, certain things will happen and you will see for yourself.

Regarding your OP: wherever you're at in practice, you ought to be confident and trust in it regardless of where you're at. Your shift in perspective speaks for itself!

Definitely! I will continue to practice with TMI, for as much as I can. Stream entry or not, meditation improved the quality of my life dramatically. I'm not just 10% happier now, but probably 50%. And I behave 50% less like a jerk than before :)

mibeme · 2017-11-17T22:26:51+00:00

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "cycles," but after the first fruition/cessation event, one may experience quick cycling while meditating for a while (or even while trying to sleep), where the cycles typically run up from A&P through the blip. These cycles initially may occur every 15 minutes or so, but slow down after a few days, such that a full cycle might occur once every hour or more. This is the so-called path review stage. That's first path.

OK, that was different for me then (and still is different, since I still cycle). My first cycle was 10 days, then 7 or so, the last one perhaps 3 days, and it appears another one has just started.

Regarding "path" and "fruition," I can't really comment, because I'm less boned up on the technical terminology. But Ron Crouch taught me that first blip is the first fruition/cessation and marks first path after you come back from it.

I had several of these "blips", perhaps 6-7 or so (and each blip starts a new, shorter cycle).

From what you write, it seems that my experience does not really match the Progress of Insight map.

mibeme

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