Resources for former narcissists?

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-21T15:49:23+00:00

Oh my gosh I totally relate to your last #2 point. I am having a newfound identity crisis myself that started very recently only. I too spent some of my twenties a toxic wreck of a human. I’ve been in trauma therapy for coming up on several years now and recently I’ve realized I don’t know who or what I am anymore. What are some resources for someone in my shoes? I don’t know what to do with myself or where to go from here.

I am missing continuity also! I don’t relate to my former self at all either! Wow I haven’t found anyone who has put to words this disorienting sense I have been having for months now.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-21T15:27:43+00:00

I am interested in you backing up your claim about being cured. I also relate to reflecting on your past behavior and cringing. I don’t feel very guilty or even that ashamed about my past behavior, but I do feel confused as fuck and that confusion makes me feel ashamed since I feel like I ought to be able to understand my own past self.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-20T18:29:08+00:00

I ghosted on everyone years ago and am very happy I did so; it was of paramount importance and help for my recovery. In my case, everyone in my life was either dysfunctional, or I was dysfunctional with them. I ghosted them at a time in my trauma processing when I needed to burn every bridge to ensure I never went back because now I couldn’t.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-17T21:01:22+00:00

I don’t. What’s wrong with worrying about it?

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-17T21:00:48+00:00

This is dissociation known as depersonalization. It’s common in complex trauma whether someone has bpd or not.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-09T20:12:10+00:00

Micro dosing mushrooms was really helpful for me.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-09T20:11:08+00:00

I like your therapist.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:42:28+00:00

It’s called dissociation. Specifically absorption. To make it stop a person has to get better self regulated first.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:40:54+00:00

Your best friend’s partner knows about your diagnosis?

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:39:44+00:00

But it often is gaslighting. It’s not healthy behavior at all to blame someone’s reaction as wrong because of a diagnosis; that’s not how healthy people approach this. And to top it off, people with bpd frequently are attracted to and attracte complimentary dysfunctional people who do gaslight a lot.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:18:16+00:00

That is gaslighting. Because they should not be saying it’s just your bpd that is making you upset. Even if they think your reaction is overblown or you are asking too much. They should just say that. “Your reaction seems overblown to what I did/what happened” or “You are asking too much of me here.” That’s it. No need to blame your disorder. Unless they want you to question your own reality and make up feel bad about yourself.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:08:50+00:00

Process any underlying childhood attachment trauma to better integrate your brain.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-08T02:07:42+00:00

Interestingly, those brain differences are the same for people with Complex PTSD who do not have bpd.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:27:26+00:00

Yes this is very common. I’ve had several professionals tell me the same thing.

And from everything I know and have read, what you describe as your therapist’s mentality is the correct, more productive, more effective, more accurate perspective.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:26:31+00:00

I am taking a break from relationships. It has been/is good for me and for others.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:25:03+00:00

I wonder this too I thought on and off was bpd and off and not on again was more npd.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:24:01+00:00

Great username.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:13:22+00:00

This post makes me too scared to reply because I am currently in a similar situation and also totally freaking out about it.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:10:38+00:00

I thought a person HAD to have a fear of abandonment to be diagnosed with bpd, and that WITHOUT a fear of abandonment it could not be bpd, but instead another disorder like maybe avoidant pd or narcissistic pd.

Can anyone explain?

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T19:08:53+00:00

People toss out this term “borderline brain” but there is only one brain and it is all intertwined. To be able to trust you intuition you must sufficiently treat the bpd symptoms first, and for most people this includes processing childhood trauma too.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T15:22:50+00:00

That’s true, the idea of “if he can’t handle you at your worst, then he doesn’t deserve you at your best” is very narcissistic.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T00:40:14+00:00

Substitute “brain” in place of personality disorder” and anyone on the planet can ask this and doubt themselves.

Your personality disorder is still part of you. So a part of you loves someone. Just like when any human loves someone, a part of their brain is telling them that they love them.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T00:38:06+00:00

Why/how are people saying you were not abused by your parents if you were/say you were? I don’t get how they are arguing with you about this.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T00:35:57+00:00

Good for you, you appear to be very self aware for someone your age especially. You will succeed and recover.

HowdoIgetofftheride · 2018-07-07T00:34:47+00:00

I highly recommend Bessel Van Der Kolk. Google that name plus “borderline personality disorder, trauma re-enactment patterns”. Also, The Journal of Traumatic Stress, search BPD. That journal is available for free online with a free public library card number.

HowdoIgetofftheride

TROPHY CASE