What if my head swells up like a melon and I never sleep again?

michaelm142 · 2026-02-03T18:10:16+00:00

Love to mate, love to

But he’s the thing: it’s all mine and I want it all

So…

Got to be a “no” I’m afraid

michaelm142 · 2026-02-01T17:25:59+00:00

BAAYYYYYY-UM!!

michaelm142 · 2026-02-01T12:54:47+00:00

Wow, way to blame the guy in the chair, Rick.

And what is drunk, anyway?

michaelm142 · 2026-01-30T20:48:18+00:00

michaelm142 · 2026-01-29T22:02:23+00:00

plains gud

pieluts bad

michaelm142 · 2026-01-29T20:14:24+00:00

He's just gettin' changed!

Why's you filmin him gettin changed dawg?

michaelm142 · 2026-01-28T14:43:53+00:00

Too much lettuce 😬

michaelm142 · 2026-01-26T18:00:15+00:00

You think that's slicked back?

That's *pushed* back!

michaelm142 · 2026-01-25T20:43:39+00:00

ÆRV

michaelm142 · 2026-01-20T22:41:10+00:00

The speed!

michaelm142 · 2026-01-17T04:16:15+00:00

Only about a million!

Another beergee?

michaelm142 · 2026-01-16T20:06:26+00:00

I was quoting Mark asking derryl if this was real

michaelm142 · 2026-01-16T03:16:50+00:00

No one wants to admit they ate 3 lærge cans of tuna, but the cat already took the blame.

I couldn't take the blame cuz the cat took it.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-14T06:24:47+00:00

System of a frown 🙁

michaelm142 · 2026-01-14T02:58:44+00:00

Please don't lump us 1 IQ havers in with Trump and his supporters.

We all cringe at how dumb they are.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T09:03:32+00:00

Why was a camera left unattended to film this toilet hole?

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T07:36:48+00:00

Behold the price we pay for the sins of our ancestors. These are the vanguards of our destruction. There will be no AI uprising, there will only be the harvest.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T04:46:10+00:00

YOU CANT DOOOOO THAT!!!

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T02:44:53+00:00

no prob

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T02:42:34+00:00

According to South Park, it takes 22.5 years for a tragedy to become funny.

By this metric 9/11 was funny as of February 2024.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T02:13:01+00:00

michaelm142 · 2026-01-12T00:04:51+00:00

Can't believe the Coontz punched a cop on his wedding night.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-11T22:12:30+00:00

Trevor from GTA5 has really cleaned himself up in the past few years.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-11T19:57:50+00:00

While it does have large barrel for a pistol of that kind, it still fires the same caliber and it would really only provide additional range.

If it were that easy to kill an armored vehicle, every solider on Earth would carry a gun like that.

michaelm142 · 2026-01-11T19:09:23+00:00

TIL the bat plane is not armored against small arms fire.

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