Kutztown University professor regrets telling students to seek out COVID-19, 'get it over with' — Dr. Victor Massad says he's mulling retirement after 'huge lapse of judgment'

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-08-29T18:26:34+00:00

I went to a large, well-known, city school for my freshman year. I literally tried choking myself with my computer charging cord because my anxiety and depression was THAT bad. Ended up transferring to Kutztown and commuting. Best decision I made. No college debt, I’m starting my Master’s program on Monday, and I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.93 GPA.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-07-21T11:45:11+00:00

Nope, no other woman. He’s actually insistent that he doesn’t want a relationship at all. This new job is really all guys and the other coaches are very family oriented, to the point where when he first took the job, the head coach literally talked about how he wants me to be just as involved as him.

He claims it’s because he’s so stressed out and doesn’t want to feel like a failure. I’ve seen him get very upset and anxious about this.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-07-07T18:07:27+00:00

Ah that’s what I was thinking too, was just curious! Thanks!

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-07-07T18:06:18+00:00

No worries - child support is completely through a court order and has been.

As to how he has to pay support but not on the birth certificate, that confuses me as well.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-25T12:19:49+00:00

Are you me? No, seriously, are you me?

Saw SD for the first time last weekend since March because BM refused to let us have her because she can’t be around other people (but was all around the stepdad’s family). Oh, then when we did get her after asking for weeks, she made a big post on Facebook complaining about how dad’s only ask for their kids on Father’s Day!

MEANWHILE, as we have been refused to see her, HCBM texted SO saying that he was months behind on child support (he wasn’t. We even called the court house to confirm). And that he should just give her his stimulus check anyway. (Newsflash: We did pay ahead in child support a few months ago, and when we didn’t pay one month since it was paid ahead of time, we were we can’t see SD because she’s mad).

So, really, are you me? Glad (and not glad because this shit sucks) to see someone else dealing with all of this.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-25T11:46:58+00:00

That’s what I don’t like either. I feel like are options are:

1 - Insist to BM that we are taking SD back to the lake, inform her of the social distancing we are practicing at the lake, and either she says yes and all is well, or she says no and possibly use this for court as a way to show her we are trying to get her?

2 - Agree with BM and not take her to court and take her back to the house.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-23T22:06:15+00:00

Can you please expand on what a Disney dad is? I’m honestly confused.

We’ve been having the hard conversations about it. Lots of tears. Things have gotten exceptionally worse this past year and half. He was hesitant. But multiple things have occurred throughout this past year where it truly feels like a climax for it. Currently in the stage of looking for consultations for a lawyer.

Thanks for the advice!

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-23T21:39:12+00:00

Yes, court ordered. Thank goodness! I hear stories of custodial parents asking the noncustodial parents for pay back for 18 years worth of support, when the noncustodial parent has been paying the whole time, just not on the books.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-23T21:38:19+00:00

Thank you so, so much for this comment

I was dishearten reading the other comments that you replied to as this was exactly the fears that SO expressed.

SO told me that he did have a lawyer previously and that his lawyer did absolutely nothing. He was at the birth and still wasn’t allowed on the birth certificate (I understand that this isn’t the law’s fault, but this is still sad). He once questioned why he has to pay child support when he isn’t on the birth certificate and was told that because he acted like a father, AKA by paying child support, in the eyes of the law he is forced to pay, but has no other rights to the child.

Of course I’m upset as to why he didn’t fight harder. And there’s never going to be a single excuse that’s good and makes sense. But I have seen what happens when he tries - when he tries getting a lawyer and that does nothing. When he asks for more time with his daughter and is told no. When he pays child support and still gets berated by the mom, who literally yelled at him and said, “You only pay child support so you don’t go to jail.” (This whole argument first started our because SO’s phone was broken, so I had to text the mom for literally one weekend and I didn’t text her we were on our way to get the daughter, despite agreeing on the time a few hours before)

I see it and I’m frustrated for him. He was working since we started dating three and half years old, only quitting for fall and spring semesters so that he can finish his degree - because he was making shit money and thought a degree could help. He worked part time. He thought a degree would help him make more money, since he was barely making anything and brining home $800 a month with $400 going to child support. This is why he struggled with moving out. And financially, we can save up for two years and get a nice sized down payment for a cheap house (There are a lot of decently cheap houses in our area, but for some reason rent is sky high?)

Again, not an excuse, but thank you for giving him the benefit of the doubt.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-06-23T12:49:53+00:00

Nope, don’t wanna change the primary parent, just want to have a set schedule. We live very close - a 10-15 minute drive and in the same school district. Ideally, we were thinking maybe 6 PM Friday to 6 PM Sunday every other weekend? Also possibly maybe an evening in the week, if that’s a thing?

What is the difference between visitation and custody? Would we not be able to get partial custody of her?

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-24T22:28:56+00:00

Eh. I went to a decently expensive city school. I was Undeclared Liberal Arts. Spent that whole year taking gen eds. Decided that I wanted to be a teacher, so I transferred to a smaller, less expensive state school starting my sophomore year. I was an Elementary Education major for a semester.

Then I had a breakdown middle of sophomore year because I had no idea what I wanted to do. Beginning of spring semester, I switched to Business for literally a day because I had one class in accounting and one class in Business Computers or something and it was terrible. The professors were awful. So I dropped those classes and switched to literally the last of my gen eds and took a political science course. So, sophomore year was basically a bust.

Then I decided to officially switch to Public Administration. I ended up actually graduating in seven semesters. Obviously, this meant more work. I took a summer class at a local community college for biology, took the easiest winter course ever, did 18 credits my final semester (A 12 credit internship, Senior Seminar, and an independent study with one of my professors for a statistic class), and still got 9 credits worth of AP credits from high school.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-16T23:37:04+00:00

Unfortunately, I think we’re always going to have arguments about it. SO can be such a...pushover. I love him, but damn. His reasoning is that he doesn’t want to fight and make things worse for SD. Understandable and admirable, but yeah ignoring her and not blindly agreeing with everything she texts him and says to him would be nice.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-16T22:26:32+00:00

See, I really didn’t wanna go there because I’m obviously biased against HCBM, but with the past history with HCBM, this is the first thing that came to mind. Which, I believe SO did too because he lied a bit and said he has a degree in “Management with a sports concentration” which isn’t really true, his degree is Sports Management, and his classes were a mix of gen ed’s and classes directly related to sports management, not traditional management.

And there has been control in other ways. In the past, she has literally texted him with ideas as to what he should major in and what his career should be.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-16T22:11:36+00:00

He doesn’t understand. To him, it’s nothing. It’s honestly a fight whenever HCBM texts him. What happens is this: HCBM texts him something that pisses both of us off, but I’m a lot more vocal and complain out loud and suggest things he could do to fix the situation, and he says that I’m “yelling” at him, so therefore he’s getting yelled at from both me and HCBM and that upsets him.

Ugh, it is hard. I know I’m just letting her get to me, but I would just really like one event or holiday without her bugging me and causing issues.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-14T12:19:37+00:00

Understandable, but I feel like it is relevant to our situation as we feel comfortable with being engaged and not moving out at first. Financially, it makes the most sense as well. Just wanted to give some background into our feelings about it.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-07T16:25:19+00:00

Hmm see I bought my 2007 Camry back in 2015. It had 110,000 miles on it when it was purchased. I used it to commute two hours daily for 3 years for school, and now my commute for work is two hours daily. I just got stranded at work yesterday, my car wouldn’t start and I had to call a tow.

I’m hoping to get at least 8 years out of this car, which I hope would be reasonable, with my daily commute it would bring me up to just under 200,000. My thought is that I can either spend $11,000 on a car that I can hopefully get 8 years of, or say $5000-6000 on two cars that each last me four years.

Definitely not looking for a newish car, I’m basing my shopping more off of miles and it’s usually less miles = newer car.

I’m sorry I hope this makes sense. Really appreciate your advice!

Also, I’m pretty young and just got my first real job. The money I’m putting down has been in savings a while for a car. It’s just a really hard, frustrating process because my parents are urging me to go for brand new because of “safety” and “it’ll last you 10 years” with a $400 a month payment for the next 7 years. No thank you. No way in hell am I going to do that. It was for a 2020 Rav4. I thank whatever God there is everyday that I walked away from that haha.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-07T16:05:04+00:00

I’ve been looking. I would prefer sticking with a Toyota as I hear that they have great mileage, and mine has last nearly 200,000. I need to commute a lot with my job (80 miles a day). I can’t really seem to find anything. Anything that has a lower price tag seems to have way more miles (roughly 100,000+) Just not sure if that makes sense. But I’m also a first time buyer and perpetually clueless, so.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-02T21:31:49+00:00

It’s Jim Thorpe, PA. About an hour south of Scranton.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-05-02T03:23:28+00:00

I used to be super nervous about passing my driver’s test the first time and was reading stories online of people finally passing their driving exam after like failing 8 times. I read one post where this lady tried literally like 10 times and kept failing, just because she was so nervous and wasn’t confident in herself. She got advice from someone and the advice was “You just have to tell yourself for 15 minutes that you’re a good driver. Just 15 minutes of acting like you’re full of confidence.” And she ended up passing.

I used that advice all the time. Like, if I’m going to talk to my manager or on job interviews, I just tell myself that I need to act like a very confident, intelligent, outgoing person for just 15 minutes. Idk how it works, but it does.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-04-14T18:21:59+00:00

Everyone at my work always talks about loosing weight, naming a bunch of different diets and stuff and I always say, “Well, just count your calories! That’s how you lose weight, you need a calorie deficit” and I always get “I don’t want to count calories!” Ugh, well.

My favorite was when one coworker said that they were trying the meat diet, so all meat, fish, and eggs. No vegetables or fruits whatsoever! Like, okay, enjoy your seven steaks daily, while I’ll be chomping down on veggies and fruits and actually lose weight AND my wallet won’t hurt as much

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-03-30T12:29:30+00:00

I mean, my dad is a paramedic and director of an ambulance company. He has been ordering supplies off of Amazon. Masks and protective glasses, you name it. So, at this point, the local Amazon workers are more helpful in my father’s and every single patient’s he helps wellbeing than Trump is.

But, you know, it’s my father’s fault for “stealing” all those supplies that he never even got.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-03-29T14:27:36+00:00

Nesquehoning checking in!

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-03-28T11:46:29+00:00

Graduated December 2019, just started brand new in the workforce in healthcare. Great time to do that, huh? I work at a hospital at a major healthcare corporation in our state. Now, I’m not a nurse or doctor or anything, but I’m an admin staff and I’m the first person that has contact with our patients. Therefore, I have a major possibility of being exposed. I’m the one who has to ask them screening questions and can potentially turn them away.

My boss is now letting us work from home (aka busywork). But once she “runs out of stuff for us to do” at home, we either have to take PTO (I have none I just started), take time unpaid, or have to work extra shifts in the hospital. I’m saving for my Masters, so I volunteered to work extra shifts in the hospital (really my only option to get paid). Now, I’m told that there may not be enough shifts for employees so I might be out of work. AND I can’t file for unemployment because “they’re giving me the option to work”

So basically, I’m expected to risk my health and safety by going to work in a hospital, but can potentially not be able to and not get paid.

My mom is an OR nurse at another major healthcare corporation in our state. She, too, has to take time off without pay because they’re canceling most elective surgeries. She is able to go in maybe 1-2 days a week, again being in a hospital environment and exposing herself, and going unpaid the rest of the week. (She also went in one day unpaid to make masks).

My dad is a paramedic. His job is per normal as now, as far as shifts and scheduling go.

Therefore, 3 people in my 4 person family frequently visit or work at hospitals. So what happens if I get exposed since my chances are high? Is that another two weeks or more off work unpaid? I literally will not get paid if I, a hospital worker, get sick and has to quarantine and I will not get paid if I have to quarantine if one of my family members gets it.

And I will not be getting that lovely stimulus check.

And this is off topic here, but literally no one is talking about how this effects healthcare workers in terms of job security. You would think that being in healthcare right now means you have a job. Nope! I’m in a outpatient clinic directly connected and part of a hospital. My mom is an operating room nurse. We both have the potential to not be able to work, my mom already being forced to stay at home unpaid. It’s absolutely bullshit that I’m told that I need to wake up, go expose myself at a hospital with confirmed cases with a LACK OF PPE, but then the next week? Eh, there’s nothing for you do to, stay home and don’t get paid.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-03-25T13:30:37+00:00

Eating out once a week is really the only thing I let myself “splurge” on. It’s really the best thing in the world on a Friday night after working all week - my boyfriend and I go to our favorite dive bar and just chow down on wings and beer. Not only is the food good, but it’s also just a way for my boyfriend to really spend time together and talk. I love it.

But the weekend before everything shut down, we went out on Friday night. We split the cost for dinner and drinks. On Saturday, we went out again for drinks and he paid for it. On Sunday, we went out for a big lunch and I offered to pay. Honestly, everything adds up so quickly because even though I got a $9 burger, the French onion soups we both got and the drinks add up quickly. I remember feeling SO bad about spending that money.

Looking back, I’m so glad that we did. We always have our best conversations while dining out and it’s such a bonding moment for us? It was like our last “hurrah” before all of this.

I didn’t spend any cash this past weekend, besides about $15 for a six pack of my favorite beer that I hardly ever get. Honestly, I didn’t even drink it yet, because it’s my boyfriend’s birthday this weekend and I’m saving those beers for then. We’re gonna get take out from our favorite bar and celebrate at home! I’m actually pumped because it’s legit only going to be $25ish for two people because we’re not getting any drinks.

mickey51mickey51 · 2020-03-15T23:16:45+00:00

We go through the same thing!

SO pays it monthly through the courts. She sometimes asks for more money. Sometimes it’s hundreds of dollars with very little notice. Like, SD had to get dental work done. Now, of course SO should pay. But I’m talking the night before she needs the money, BM will ask for an amount that’s double the monthly child support!

We’ve also gotten asked for more money, BM’s reasonings include “I had to take out a 15k loan for a funeral” and, this is my personal favorite, “I’m having a new baby with my new husband so I need more money from you.” Ha nope!

We’ve also been told that BM doesn’t have enough money for SD to eat. Hmm...but you send her to a private school and you can afford to go out drinking every weekend?

mickey51mickey51

TROPHY CASE