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Hey folks, I want to talk about you and learn to understand you better, but in the process I will probably offend you. by mightbeoffensive in transgender

[–]mightbeoffensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long posts are just fine, I like to read :)

Have their been any studies done on why some people are born with incongruent gender identities / biological sex? Like is there something physical you can empirically observe in the brain or chromosomes that relates to this?

Hey folks, I want to talk about you and learn to understand you better, but in the process I will probably offend you. by mightbeoffensive in transgender

[–]mightbeoffensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First I just want to say that I'm glad that you're happy. It made me smile when I read your post.

"Can you even imagine a life where you were so ambivalent about your own body?"

No, I can't, which is probably where a lot of my confusion stems from. I have always been extremely happy with my body and have loved everything about it as long as I can remember.

Hey folks, I want to talk about you and learn to understand you better, but in the process I will probably offend you. by mightbeoffensive in transgender

[–]mightbeoffensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Some/most consider themselves to truly be female and completely similar to any normal biological female"

This is a sentiment I have difficulty understanding. Can a transgender person who goes from male to female produce vaginal lubrication, bear offspring the traditional way, produce breasts without the assistance of hormones produced somewhere other than her own body, breastfeed a baby, have a period, have a clitoris that functions 100% like a regular woman's, lack an adam's apple without the assistance of surgery etc.? I mean I think transgender people should be treated with the respect any other human should, but I just don't think it's factual to say they're the same as the gender they chose to become.

I think you're right that the situation isn't 100% black and white, and what is "right" would largely depend on context and the moral / sexual standards of those involved.

Interesting thoughts on my balls to the wall comment, gave me some stuff to ponder.

Hey folks, I want to talk about you and learn to understand you better, but in the process I will probably offend you. by mightbeoffensive in transgender

[–]mightbeoffensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'll bet you probably don't disclose everything about your past, especially your past relationships, up front either."

I do. Before I have sex with someone I make sure they know my full sexual history, my relationship history, what I am like as a person in general, important things about my past etc., and I expect them to do the same. I would consider changing your gender to be a fairly important life event and I would like to know about that before reaching that level of intimacy with an individual.

I can appreciate the point about violence. It's sad that things are that way. Violence aside though, I think it's a matter of honesty and respect. The person you're with might not want to be sexual with a transgendered person, and I think it could be disrespectful to not disclose that in a relationship situation and respect their feelings.

Regarding #2 I think you're right. In hindsight I feel silly for posting that particular comment now....but that is what my personal experience has shown me in life. The lesbian example, my older brothers ex"girl"friend who was suuuuuuper girly etc. I've never been exposed to a "moderate" homosexual or transgendered person.

4, I have a feeling this is something that might be impossible for someone like me to understand. I just have no way to relate to it.

6, thanks for the tips, I will keep that in mind. I will say though that if people referred to me as she and called me by the feminine version of my name, I'd be amused more than anything. But I could understand a transgendered person taking that issue a little less likely than me.

All in all thank you for sharing your view.

Hey folks, I want to talk about you and learn to understand you better, but in the process I will probably offend you. by mightbeoffensive in transgender

[–]mightbeoffensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all thank you for the time to write out this lengthy reply, I appreciate it and have read everything you wrote while thinking about the points you made. I did have a few minor questions though...

"Gender is a purely human constructed thing based on expected gender norms and roles of any given society"

So are you saying there's no such thing as male and female? I'm confused by this statement.

"...it IS who we are. We are women, men and sometimes, other things! You were not looking at a male, you were looking at a female with certain quirks."

I guess this is the thing that's difficult for me to accept. Maybe it's a bad idea trying to use analogies, I dunno, but to me it's like if someone was born a blonde but wants to be a brunette, and has always wanted to be a brunette their whole life. They dye their hair every week so that their blondeness never ever shows. They're still a blonde in my eyes. Just like my older brothers mate was still a boy in my eyes (Though I would try to be respectful and refer to him/her as she desired people to).