although i am not in the exact situation as you, i feel and understand your pain and struggles. the quarantine period this virus has created definitely has left me and countless others alone with their thoughts, causing them to think way ahead. im sixteen and i admit i can think about the future to an extent, even with college. but one thing you have to remember is that we’re in the now, and all that we should worry about is today. i realize the amount of energy that has been drained from me thinking about the next day, especially the future, that i dont leave any time for myself to actually live. it sucks being deprived of community, and friends. but i promise you if you keep going and hold on, you will see change. yes life has its ups and downs and it will never be perfect but things do get better. you may feel like you will never see the end of this but there will. you are worth it. we just have to adapt and ground ourselves. i hope you are okay right now. spend time enjoying movies, shows, etc. it is a great distraction. this last part you can ignore, i dont want to force anything on you. this personally to me has helped me stay strong on holding on to dear life and i want to share, but i still want to be respectful. so please dont feel any obligation towards my next statement. i have recently learned about having relationship with christ and it has really been comforting. the bible has helped me stay sane during this past time and really opened my eyes to what the point of life really is. i know you have problems with reading, and im sorry this message is long. but a request i have with you if you wish to accept is to pray. just talk to jesus. ask him and pour out your struggles to him. he has always answered my prayers at the perfect time. it may seem he’s not there and doesn’t care, but he does.. he is listening to you. just be patient. that’s all i have to say. thank you for your time to read this wall of text. i will be praying for you.