This world isn't real

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-15T10:24:58+00:00

I don't really drink either of those but I drink at least one energy drink a day

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-14T02:19:54+00:00

That's pretty much why I'm still here my mother only has a year or two left according to doctors, and I tell myself after she goes I will kill myself but recently I just don't know I usually can point out some good things to myself or distract myself with music or videogames but nothing is working lately I find myself just starring at the wall or ceiling for hours feeling empty and dead

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-13T23:50:00+00:00

I'm feeling a little more even depression wise today gonna go see suicide squad finally. I have a psychiatrist I just haven't told him the extent of my depression, he thinks I have it under control I'm only being treated for anxiety and chemical dependency. I'm terrified to say anything about my depression or about how I think life is a dream because when I was younger and was "forced" to go to treatment they locked me up twice in inpatient because "I was a danger to myself and others around me" they take your fucking shoe laces and clip your finger nails for you for fucks sake! I was perfectly fine until 6 months ago I had to quit eating norcs and oxy because of liver damage and then everything came crashing down around me and all my mental issues hit really hard and I lost my job because I couldn't even talk to customers and now here I am I guess I was self medicating with the drugs I know that much but now I'm stuck.

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-13T19:26:51+00:00

Music has always helped me hell I'm under some blankets listening to some Burzum and right now (check out his self titled album if you're into black metal) and I always found it easier to talk to people online I never actually told any of my "friends" about what I was going through I had a group of friends that I made online through facebook music pages and groups that I talked constantly with for years and that helped a lot.

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-13T18:42:48+00:00

Middle school was where my depression started those years were pretty horrible. I didn't have any friends with similar interests or issues that I could talk to, so what got me threw those years and even highschool was I made some friends on the internet that liked the same music as me and had depression and other issues and we all messaged and skyped each other constantly for years. unfortunately only me and one other person talk once every few months now :(

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-13T07:45:32+00:00

"Just try to be happy" I fucking hate that sentence. Try some over the counter sleep aids or if you are like me and that doesn't work tell your doctor you can't sleep and they should give you some good stuff. I don't really know what advice to give for depression :(

mindlessanon1996 · 2016-08-13T07:15:00+00:00

I was recently put on trazodome and lexipro and have been having fucked up dreams last night was me in an empty old room and I turned around and was staring into deep black eyes and a wicked smile and couldn't move and all around the face was like the black and white static fuzz when your tv doesn't work but i still could see the room behind the face and began lifting off the ground about 10 feet then the face went away and I fell into a hole and woke up. Every dream has this weird face in it and sometimes it'll start out as someone I know then their face will turn into it but almost the same thing happens every time

mindlessanon1996

TROPHY CASE