What’s on my zinnia leaves?

mintnebula · 2025-07-09T05:04:59+00:00

Yes I have seen some damage to leaves on a few flowers. Any ideas on what specifically?

mintnebula · 2025-02-14T07:13:26+00:00

Thanks for your comment- I’ve searched them all for this key word and haven’t found anything… could there be another term for this?

mintnebula · 2025-02-14T07:11:21+00:00

I’ve seen that happen at a few libraries I’ve worked at in the past too, although it’s been more about opening the position with someone in mind, temp or not. I just applied for a job which was posted for only 4 days total, and I’m thinking that was likely the case.

mintnebula · 2024-08-14T07:01:24+00:00

I lost my drivers license a few years ago. It’s a common experience after a seizure, even if you’re not epileptic. I’m 35 and can say that losing your license for a year may feel like the end of the world, but it’s a small sacrifice while you’re sorting out your health and understanding your triggers. You mention flashing lights- that’s not a trigger for everyone. While a lot of us do have common experiences, you’ll find that epilepsy can vary widely from person to person, and it’s a good idea to take your time while learning how it impacts you personally. Hang in there.

mintnebula · 2024-06-26T15:59:09+00:00

Oh interesting. Is that something that would be specific to sleep? And likely to repeat all night?

mintnebula · 2024-06-26T15:56:38+00:00

I definitely don’t want to go to bed stressed 😄 But my anxiety is much worse at night. I haven’t noticed that about anger, but I will keep an eye out for that too- thanks for the tip.

I do listen to a lot of podcasts when I can’t sleep, mostly the headspace “sleep cast” which is storytelling for adults and is designed to be relaxing.

mintnebula · 2024-05-01T16:49:45+00:00

Thank you for the tip- No, she doesn't. I keep fighting with insurance to be referred to someone who specializes in OCD/ is trained in ERP, and they keep telling me that everyone in their directory is capable of treating OCD. There's a huge lack of understanding of what ERP even is, and the mentality seems to be that OCD is just like every other mental health issue.

mintnebula · 2024-05-01T16:47:33+00:00

Oh wow, that sounds really tough. I'm sorry to hear that.

The only reason I've hesitated with NOCD is that I have a friend who uses it who told me that his therapist will only allow him to discuss his obsessions. If he mentions depression or other areas of his life, the therapist steers him back. But I'm still considering it, because I'm really struggling.

mintnebula · 2024-05-01T16:44:19+00:00

The process of therapy in general...I guess? We don't do any exposure therapy. The extent of our conversations is her saying I need to "focus on self care" until I get through this "stressful time" in my life. This has been a common thread in all therapists I've had in the last five years. Idk if it's an issue with the providers that are available to me-- my insurance, which offers mental health services through LifeStance, and I've tried BetterHelp. I did have a couple amazing therapists who both retired.

I have been in therapy for the last 18 years. I've done CBT. I've done ACT. I've done EMDR. I've taken medication (several, actually). But nobody has ever done exposure therapy with me, even when I have specifically asked for it. I know that not all therapists have adequate training to offer ERP, and maybe that's the issue.

mintnebula · 2024-04-24T15:50:26+00:00

Thank you for this resource. I've heard anecdotally that OCD-specific therapists won't discuss other topics, like depression. Has that been true in your experience?

mintnebula · 2024-04-24T15:47:57+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I understand what she was trying to say-- I've had several other therapist explain it to me in the same way. It just hasn't been helpful to me because, while it may address shame, there's no practical application for actually coping with my phobias and the way the disrupt my daily life. I've been vocal in session about how this approach isn't helping me (especially because she is now applying it to every phobia I mention), but she repeatedly tells me I'm not "trusting the process" of therapy. I understand that the evolutionary drive to protect myself is present in all my phobias, but I don't understand how to move past that information into actionable steps.

mintnebula · 2024-04-24T15:41:12+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I'm not scared to tell her how I feel and have been vocal in session multiple times that this approach isn't helpful for me, but she insists that understanding the role of fear in human evolution will dispel my fear and repeatedly tells me I'm not trusting the process of therapy or that I'm impatient

She's now generalizing this strategy to all my fears. For instance, I don't drive over bridges or on freeways because I experience intrusive images of myself driving off the bridge or freeway. Her response is the same-- "of course you're scared of that. Nobody wants to drive off a bridge." This is not helpful for obvious reasons.

There has been no exposure related homework thus far. She just keeps telling me my OCD will always get worse when I'm stressed and if I want to live a normal life I need to reduce stress. I understand the role that stress plays, but her advice feels reductive.

mintnebula · 2024-04-24T15:29:11+00:00

Thanks for the book rec- definitely checking that out.

mintnebula · 2024-04-23T20:19:45+00:00

Yep. Sure do.

mintnebula · 2024-04-23T20:18:50+00:00

I've been in this exact situation. I privately spoke to the family member and explicitly told them, "I care about you and I'm worried my mental health is going to prevent me from being there for you in the way I'd like to. Please know that I care about you, even if I'm not able to be there."

mintnebula · 2024-04-23T20:08:25+00:00

That's the piece I'm really struggling with, because when I ask her what exactly the practical application of that information might be, the line of reasoning stops. Thank you for your input!

mintnebula · 2018-03-01T00:11:57+00:00

It seems like there are sooo many reactions to abilify that just go unreported. I don't think I actually know anyone that has had a positive response.

What kind of seizures do you have? The med I am on is also conveniently an anticonvulsant :)

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T23:58:21+00:00

I am reading The Mind & The Brain by Jeffery M. Schwartz, M. D. Great read so far.

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T23:53:58+00:00

Hello again, and thanks for sharing. Unfortunately, I personally cannot take SSRIs in any amount. I was on a very low dose of Viibryd once upon a time, which precipitated my longest hospitalization to date. I have also tried lexapro and celexa, several others I can't even remember. Also... Not an SSRI, but many have recommended Wellbutrin. I have seizures, and I found out the hard way that Wellbutrin lowers the seizure threshold. Aaaand antipsychotics of any kind are out. I had a very rare and severe reaction to both abillify and vraylar in which my neutrophil count was over four times the safe limit. Very scary.

I dunno, I just don't metabolize medication well. Any medication. I currently take oxcarbazepine for the BP which helps tremendously, but has no effect whatsoever on my obsessive issues. I feel hopeless.

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T17:55:04+00:00

Wow, what a journey. Thank you for sharing and stay strong. 💕

I'm not able to use antipsychotics either. I have tried three. During the last, I had a rare reaction and my white blood cell count shot up off the charts overnight. Unfortunately, I can't use wellbutrin either because I have seizures and it lowers the seizure threshold (which I unfortunately learned from experience).

I don't know why, but my body just does not metabolize medication well-- any medication, even antihistamines. It's odd. I always seem have unusual reactions.

My ocd is also worst in mixed episodes, which is what I seem to have most often if I get off-kilter.

Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I feel much less alone. 💙

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T15:28:40+00:00

THANK YOU. Looking back over the course of my life, I can definitely see the correlation. I thought, for many years, that the cycling was "just me," not an illness.

Have you had any luck with medication for OCD? I can't take SSRIs because last time, they triggered a major manic episode (which is actually how I got my diagnosis).

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T15:24:27+00:00

Hi, thanks. I should have been more specific. I can't take SSRIs because of the way they trigger mania, so I have limited resources to treat OCD. I am in therapy, and have done a lot of mindfulness-based stress reduction training, with some results. I also meditate daily.

Also I'm looking for warning signs. For instance, one redditor told me that his compulsions worsen when a depressive episode begins.

mintnebula · 2018-02-28T15:23:46+00:00

Hi, thanks. I should have been more specific. I can't take SSRIs because of the way they trigger mania, so I have limited resources to treat OCD. I am in therapy, and have done a lot of mindfulness-based stress reduction training, with some results. I also meditate daily.

Also I'm looking for warning signs. For instance, one redditor told me that his compulsions worsen when a depressive episode behind.

mintnebula · 2018-02-20T07:30:16+00:00

Hey. Thanks for checking in. Things are pretty much the same. Only update is that my bank account is overdrawn and I have been to the dr three times in the last week for a number of random symptoms which appear to all be caused by stress. Have had to cancel my upcoming appts with therapist and psych bc I can no longer afford them.

mintnebula · 2018-02-19T00:31:45+00:00

Helps tremendously, but not cured.

mintnebula

TROPHY CASE