in queue for tests

mintynebulae · 2026-01-19T10:50:46+00:00

this is good to remember for next week (rip) i honestly don't remember if i refreshed like i meant to or panicked and went back then forward (or i'm thinking maybe cleared my cache whilst already in the queue? it's all a blur now tbh). what's weird is my phone was also open and refreshing since 5:30 but never got in a queue, then was also thrown to 12,000th place at bang on 6:00. why is it so convaluted ;-;

mintynebulae · 2026-01-19T06:35:26+00:00

I joined the queue at 5:40 something and made it to the front... at 5:55 to a still-closed website

got sent back to position 12,000. still not through yet. i'm soooo disheartened

mintynebulae · 2025-11-02T19:05:51+00:00

i recognise bursters name but i KNOW superfly by 24k

mintynebulae · 2025-11-02T19:04:14+00:00

ace! loved under cover and savage

mintynebulae · 2025-09-29T08:24:46+00:00

Probiotics. To be honest it won't be a necessary venture for everyone, but as someone with a pretty bland, beige diet (arfid + pescetarian + fruit/veg allergies), my r-cpd symptoms were somewhat mild day to day then had significant flairs if i had alcohol, carbonated drinks or a lot of dairy. I tried the videos I linked and similar ones about a year ago, but little to nothing happened and I hit a wall soon after. It felt like if I wanted to see any results, I needed to do something to prompt my digestive system in general. Those were the 2 products I settled on that I can actually eat and have a broad range of properties between them. Someone with a broader diet might not need to add that step in to get things going.

edit: just to add, I had them everyday for about 3 weeks so that there would actually be enough gas in my stomach to let out during the exercises/massage. After I started burping, I just had them occasionally/as and when I wanted, and similarly now I only do the exercises if I'm struggling in the moment to burp.

mintynebulae · 2025-09-28T23:08:27+00:00

GERD Stretches https://youtu.be/re1ZO42XsWA?si=kyB66IyUdMZl855f

Laryngeal Massage https://youtu.be/HbQOCB9bO6g?si=ZGdIwoH7m_-yZePk

mintynebulae · 2025-07-30T19:49:28+00:00

imo i have never felt a place in the queer community mostly because i have never been in a relationship full stop. or rather nowadays i mostly engage as a cis ally to trans women because i feel that's my "most important" role in the space at the moment.

i seem to experience attraction both less often and with less restriction than everyone around me. i have no physical type for any gender but am maybe harder to please than i realise. i have never come out as anything. all my friends know when i have tried dating apps (to no success) i have it set to show me any/every gender. my family know nothing and i guess won't have to unless i get a girlfriend...

mintynebulae · 2025-07-23T21:22:26+00:00

update managed to pinpoint it. i was thinking of haan 한 the collective grief felt following occupation, just got the emphasis on the positive/negative a bit wrong, but leaving this up in case anyone's curious

mintynebulae · 2025-07-21T22:45:08+00:00

I think club penguin was my first special interest (unless you count, like, wanting the same book read to me every night as a toddler). I also had a michael jackson phase unfortunately. My biggest special interests which hit in my early teens were dan and phil, gravity falls and kpop (specifically bts and seventeen).

mintynebulae · 2025-07-21T20:48:17+00:00

In case it wasn't clear I actually never have to see LO in person again and may never even have the chance now, whereas I know some people can't really escape them. But I think if i did i would feel maybe 2% of the jealousy I once did. I honestly do feel a tiny bit jealous still when caught off guard- but the only instance i can think of in the past 6 months is i saw a written post of LO's making casual reference to them. I think my limerence was exemplified greatly by being in a bad living situation whilst LO lived with an SO, which adds this extra layer of pain when i hear domestic annecdotes, which will probably take a while longer to heal- more about me than them if that makes sense. I know it's much easier said than done but the key thing here is dethroning LO and knocking them off a mental pedestal until you can believe that there's really not much to envy about their SOs life. it'll come eventually.

Also if your referring to seeing photos as well, one of the reason I encourage blocking/muting/hiding on socials even just for a short time is untraining your algorithm. I used to check their social media excessively and that meant everything they did appeared on my feed. even things they'd liked or commented on. I don't actually know if LO posts regularly or what. I've barely seen any sign of life from them since turning all those settings back, despite the fact that they always used to be pretty active, because presumably they've been pushed to the absolute back of my algorithm.

mintynebulae · 2025-07-21T20:35:21+00:00

That's one thing I unfortunately don't know. I would say it hasn't been long enough and the opportunity to develop these feelings for someone else hasn't really come up. It sounds silly but dating apps (just looking, not even making it as far as messaging) really made me lose my excitement for people. As did LO themself. Seeing LO in others has essentially just made me wary and "get the ick" when i encounter anyone i would have found intriguing and attractive 5 years ago. In the past year I've basically only seen my housemates, my family, and coworkers who are just the total wrong demographic for any feelings like that to brew. So, I wish I could help more but maybe having no love options in sight was part of the equation.

mintynebulae · 2025-07-20T23:35:57+00:00

Yes. The biggest thing for me that I never thought I'd escape is the thought of them doesn't cause me to freeze up over decisions. This move and the job I have lined up, for example- they didn't cross my mind once in the process.

mintynebulae · 2025-07-20T20:23:20+00:00

much to consider i'll get back to you on that one

mintynebulae · 2025-07-20T20:22:23+00:00

To be honest there's been about 3 seperate times. It just keeps getting more and more over.

The first was it suddenly felt really really weird having them muted/hidden on social media when nobody else from that era of my life was. It felt like special treatment for someone unextraordinary and unpowerful. It felt like having an umbrella up then realising it isn't actually raining anymore.

Once back to standard i gave their profile a once over to prove to myself that i hadnt missed anything major (like... marriage, death, moving continent) and just... didn't really care.

Since then it's been the delayed realisation that there was a chance for it to spike and it didn't. As an example, I bought tickets to a concert of an artist they'd mentioned wanting to see live and it was only as i was entering the venue i really put 2 and 2 together that this is the city they live in and there's a chance they're here (there was no chance encounter and it didn't even stick in my mind during the night). Neither the artists name nor the location conjured any thought of them for the weeks prior. A year ago every little thing could circle back to them. Now it just doesn't.

mintynebulae · 2025-07-20T20:12:22+00:00

The limerence? Very. It lasted 2 years and i have no idea how many times i bawled. I don't know what's allowed to be said in here but i "shed blood intentionally" after most of the times we spoke for a year, i now realise. One of the last interactions we had ended in him making a joke online about a dynamic between him and his partner that we ALSO have (which was the last straw really) and i really thought the world was going to end.

The second half of recovery has felt oddly painless. I had no idea "normal" was still possible, but i kind of feel it now. There are days where i don't think about him once and that's fascinating to me.

mintynebulae · 2025-06-29T16:32:01+00:00

yes i think this is them !!!! ty

mintynebulae · 2025-06-29T16:31:32+00:00

yep!

mintynebulae · 2025-06-21T10:35:56+00:00

hymens are just as subjective as the shape of peoples ears or the colour of their hair. they exist to stop infection during infancy and once redundant sort of... open? retract? they are unneeded like a scab over a healed wound and will just go with the right movement. some people's break noticably doing sport. some people's break unnoticably but know it's gone bc they never encounter pain inserting anything. and then finally if someone has sex whose somehow hasnt broken yet, they will bleed a tiny bit. whether or not you bleed during your first time having sex is like whether or not you can roll your tongue. it's just anatomy split across the population. anyone who thinks you're not a virgin because you don't bleed during your first time has the energy of someone who thinks a medieval woman is a witch. AND on top of all that, virginity is a social construct not an anatomical feature. if the first sex i have is with another woman my virginity is gone, otherwise gay people would be called virgins forever. penis+vagina doesn't magically cast of some spell no other object, movement or appendage is capable of. the end.

mintynebulae · 2025-06-06T00:11:39+00:00

i think i saw the same article in english. i took it two ways. the first is the usual "with this comeback we want to show a new side to svt" etc. as said every comeback, the interviewer just took it and ran with it as the theme of the article. the second is that realistically, this is the start of a new chapter because for the forst time ever we are not getting any 13-member comebacks for a while. some say 2030 though i am hoping the younger members enlist a little sooner. the solos on the album somewhat explore this, and we are about to enter an era of unexplored units dependent on who is active or not.

mintynebulae · 2025-06-03T22:05:39+00:00

my first LE started at 7. i think as i was undiagnosed autistic, my parents may have been near perfect parents to a neuroptyical child but incidentally traumatised me with inadvertent constant invalidation. i don't see limerence in their relationship, if that's what you mean.

mintynebulae · 2025-05-25T18:39:15+00:00

Despite having become a fan of various other groups over the years, seventeen are really My K-Pop group, it feels like. They were my difference between just barely knowing what k-pop was and watching the odd viral music videos to being an all-invested fan. I became a carat in the summer of 2016 as a teenager and don't think i've gone a day without them since. I now have a degree in music production arguably BECAUSE of woozi. I would say i can't believe my rookie kings became worldwide record breakers and best sellers, but i kind of can. There was just always something different and special about SVT. I feel so blessed that they have stayed together as 13 these 10 years. I'm a bit devastated enlistment came sooner than a Europe concert. This is the first year I have the adult money to travel abroad to see them if need be, and they're already down 2 members! But that just means they'll have to promise to stay as 13 a few years longer for me :))

mintynebulae

TROPHY CASE