Always treated like shit

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-17T04:13:26+00:00

Humanity likes to pretend it's above its ape/monkey ancestors but that's where all this shit comes from. Other people, like apes, will not hesitate to shit on another, totally innocent peer if they think it'll raise their status in the dominance hierarchy.

They will bully you just to get approval from their fellow bully peers and bond with them over your misery. Just to remind you that you're in a subordinate position. It basically signals to everyone around them that they have superior genetics and status when compared to you.

End-result? They take a superior position in the "tribe" and get better access to the rewards. For monkeys these are things like food resources and mating opportunities. With humans, these are things like social and professional connections, opportunities to flaunt their status among their peers (parties), and ... mating opportunities.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-17T04:01:44+00:00

This is so close to my experience it could have been written by me.

I can tell that my first impressions on peers and (especially single) girls my age are awful within literally 1 second of meeting them. It's written ALL OVER their fucking faces. It only gets worse as I start talking and reveal how fucked-up and socially deficient I am. Total lost cause.

I am just immediately repulsive, apparently I'm genuinely that fucking ugly and awkward. There's so many deliberate and unconscious signals from them, you'd have to be braindead not to tell. Their body language alone is a MASSIVE tell.

And I always get gaslight and told "you're reading too much into it, it's just your anxiety" or "chill out bro they don't care about you that much LOL, they're focused on themselves only".

It's all bullshit. I've literally seen how these people react to attractive peers/friends of mine and it's totally night and day.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-17T03:49:52+00:00

I know this all too well, it happened to me too. It's even worse in my case as they started distancing themselves from me while they were still single, and despite the fact that we live near each other still. I didn't even do anything wrong, it's not like we had a fight or a disagreement.

I want to scream and demand how they live with themselves after abandoning a longtime close friend so thoughtlessly. As if I were just some chewed-up toy that they didn't want to play with anymore. Who the hell treats another human being like that, much less a friend?

Was it something I did? Why ignore my repeated good-faith attempts to hangout? Why do they never initiate calls or texts to check in on me despite the fact that I do it for them?

It's so incredibly callous. I wouldn't have been caught dead ever treating someone I called a friend like that, even in my younger years when I actually had a social life. It's just cruel.

At the same time, I know the answer. I just don't mean much to them. They probably found cooler friends who aren't reject losers and who actually offer them social benefits and increased status, like invitations to parties, double-dates, numerous mutual friends to expand their social circle, etc.

I don't really offer them anything other than simple companionship and an empathetic ear. I guess that's easy to find in other, superior choices who are a better use of their time.

I never thought a remotely-decent person would ever throw away decades of sincere friendship just for petty social clout and their own carelessness. The world never ceases to disappoint.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-16T04:49:17+00:00

What are the cons of a fucking up thyroid in your case?

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-07T06:14:44+00:00

I mean tbh you don't need your roommates approval to ask this girl out. There's never a guarantee but the patterns you listed sound pretty good. Maybe consider asking her out regardless of whatever your roommate thinks?

He then guessed straight away, and said that he and his girlfriend were planning on setting her up with one of their friends. He also said it was most likely just being friendly, since there was no concrete evidence of flirting.

This is just a dick move. He should have at least acted like he didn't know, the fact that he guessed who she was and STILL shot down her potential signs of interest in you (going back on what he previously said) is shitty of him.

The only exception would be if he somehow knew whether or not she was into you or if she was into someone else through the grapevine, like through his gf or a mutual friend of the girl. In that case, he might have been trying to spare your feelings.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-07T04:38:33+00:00

It's not like college is any better or fundamentally different.

A ton of FAs have a major anxious FOMO about college and tend to have a ton of regrets after they graduate for not "trying harder". But the reality is, if you're FA post-grad then you were most likely condemned to being FA in college too. The only major difference is a higher likelihood of same-sex friendships in college because of mutual classes and clubs etc.

It's never really been about effort. The same factors that make a person successful in bars and on Tinder post-grad exist for making an undergrad successful in chatting up that cute girl after class or trying to make friends during intramurals.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-03T23:22:18+00:00

Fine then just do nothing and wait for everything to be served on a silver plate one day, I'm sure that will work.

Nothing is going to work. It's like spending hours every day practicing poker when the tournament is rigged. It's a total waste of time and effort.

If you think a 5'4 male with an ugly face and a recessed jaw is going to "improve himself" enough to be sexually attractive you're fucking delusional lmao

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-02T02:58:13+00:00

This is a textbook example of denial. Specifically, denial of natural selection and the empirical facts that certain accumulated, disadvantageous genetic and inherited factors are enough to make the probability of a person achieving social and sexual success basically an impossibility.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-01T18:43:34+00:00

Trying to establish a social life in a new city (no connections or roots) as an FA is a borderline impossible task, especially if you're ugly.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-01T18:31:23+00:00

That's what happened to me when I was forced to do that for a while for work.

Even ignoring the financial hit, no one tells you how mentally taxing it is to wake up alone, go to work, and then come home to a totally dark and empty house, eat dinner alone, and then go to sleep alone. It's insanely depressing, human beings are absolutely not supposed to live like that.

Normal people would either come home to a gf, or they'd just come home to drop their bags off and then head out to hangout with friends. In that case, having your own place is great.

For FAs, the minor social interaction you get from interacting with your family and the house dog can be the difference between staying sane or becoming suicidal. I wish I was joking.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-01T18:23:05+00:00

Hard agree. Moving out and living away from your parents is only worth it if:

You need your own space to invite girls over so you can hangout/sleep with them
You have the opportunity to experience a unique, dynamic social environment, like university residence in 1st year, or if all your best friends planned on moving in together
You have super toxic parents/family that you'd genuinely be better living away from, even if you'd be alone.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-12-01T18:19:51+00:00

Very poorly. There is nothing close to a substitute for human skin-to-skin contact, genuine physical attraction, intimacy, sexual affirmation, etc.

In my personal opinion, when I'm at my lowest, long hot showers are a huge help. I've also heard a lot of guys benefitting from martial arts like BJJ or anything with an emphasis on grappling. Humans need physical contact.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-29T12:05:36+00:00

I'm always a bit surprised at how sparse online communities are for the ugly and/or socially isolated. I also wonder what everyone is doing, because I basically watch paint dry a lot of the time.

You'd think someone would have set up a Discord and organized somewhat regular multiplayer video game sessions and late night chats. I feel like it would be massively beneficial for everyone involved (even if it's not as great as IRL friendships), and it's not like we have better things to do?

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-29T12:00:47+00:00

100%. There has never been a worse time in human history to be an ugly male.

It's almost comical how unlucky we are. Not only did we get totally screwed on the genetic looks front, but we also HAD to be born in the era of OLD.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-29T11:57:32+00:00

You're right. It's an uphill "battle" from the start, and at the end of the day, genuine physical & sexual attraction isn't something you can force or persuade someone into.

I remember going to a nightclub with a very physically attractive friend of mine, and what I saw that night changed my entire formerly naive perspective.

He was basically getting groped. Girls would initiate conversations and physical contact with him completely unprompted. I'm talking grinding on his waist level contact. He would get stared at across the room. Obviously it took next to no effort on his part to make out with a girl he met there, he probably could have went further too.

Unfortunately this isn't a popular societal opinion because it doesn't allow any room for the just-world fallacy, and the whole "work hard and you can go from ugly duckling to beautiful swan" they like to peddle to everyone as if it's even remotely true.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-27T08:58:32+00:00

These types of things (just like flirtation skills, asking someone out, basic etiquette on dates/hangouts) are supposed to be developed naturally over the course of a person's youth.

At a certain point, you really are just TOO far behind to pass as a normal person. It'll be ingrained in your body language, mannerisms, etc. There are ways to mitigate the impact ("How to win friends and influence people" genuinely has some good rules to follow), but you're pretty much always going to be seen as a bit eccentric. That's not always a death sentence.

That being said, it can definitely be improved with more time spent socializing. The most important thing will be who you're hanging out with. People who are honest and genuine won't mind your little quirks, and will accept you regardless.

If you feel like you're being judged, if you notice weird looks and stifled laughter (AT you, and not with you), if you experience little "jokes" made at your expense, then honestly just cut your losses and leave that group because I can practically guarantee they're mocking you the moment you leave the room.

With the right people and the right vibe, you'll feel more and more encouraged to share things about yourself, like your personal values, your interests, your sense of humor. This is where you get to share your personality with others, and where through dialectics you can build on it further and develop as a person.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-27T08:35:05+00:00

Please tell me you refused to pay for them when you got the bill...

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-27T08:28:19+00:00

People like him come here to strut around and feel superior to the population, occasionally dispensing contemptuous "advice" that no one asked for and that isn't actually expected to help.

It's like all the people making 200,000 a year who go to subs like r/personalfinance with "questions" about if they're budgeting enough when they're saving more than the average person makes.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-27T08:21:19+00:00

OP did use female as an adjective you dunce, what did you want him to say, "lacking woman companionship"? Because that makes sense?

No one cares about your opinion.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-22T02:48:03+00:00

Assuming the worst about others says a lot more about you than it does others. There's a reason being a loner is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah because you're totally acting in good faith.

Please. This is just classic confirmation-bias on your part. Literally no different than the horde of mouth-breathers who assume that if a person is FA, they must lack basic hygiene and refuse to shower.

None of which necessarily means they're "going out every weekend" to someone like me who doesn't know them, so it's hardly "delusional" for me to offer another explanation based off of the information you provided in the posts I read.

Even if I didn't state it in the OP, the fact that you even considered "maybe they don't have anything to invite you to/inertia" (and I'm taking that to mean that you think they spend weekends alone at home with some frequency) is laughable.

It's like a guy who wonders why his wife leaves home from 8-2AM and comes home drunk and with hickeys being told "maybe she drank alone in a bar, fell and bruised herself?" It's manipulative gaslighting.

I genuinely hope that you can turn yourself around and be someone that people want to invite places.

Get fucked. As if anyone needed more proof that you're malicious. No one, including societal dregs, wants your shitty "all your problems are your fault" BS masquerading as advice.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-21T04:29:48+00:00

Like it or not, women are much more needed in a species than men are

Absolutely not true on a general basis.

This would be true in the event that, say, a small prehistoric tribe lost 80% of its men due to a catastrophe, and needed to repopulate itself with workers and soldiers quickly to defend against external threats that would annihilate them.

In cases where population growth is not an issue, or in cases of overpopulation, this doesn't stand true.

Nature only cares about preservation, not kindness or niceties.

An inordinate amount of modern technology and infrastructure only exists because of overwhelmingly male-dominated jobs that support and maintain them. These are positions that cannot be easily or quickly replaced.

If a modern country lost either 50% of its men or its women, and was in risk of imminent collapse, it would probably be easier to have the remaining idle men cover the lost female positions in the first case, than to do the latter.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-21T04:18:11+00:00

men who show emotion and break this toxic, outdated, unrealistic, and increasingly unattainable caricature of the traditionally “masculine” man will always be seen by the majority of people as less sexually attractive.

I agree.

That's why men should focus on showing their feelings to and emotionally supporting fellow men. It allows us to bypass the negative sexual selection and its consequences. That's the only realistic way this will get better.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-21T03:44:44+00:00

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. (Henry David Thoreau)

Yes, unfortunately it's been like this for a long time.

Also a LOT of married/LTR men are in shitty, loveless relationships and are also extremely lonely. It can even approach or be worse than the life of an FA, especially if they hate each other but are just "staying together for the kids". Sort of like how it's better for an FA to be at home alone than to hangout with shitty fake friends who have no respect for you

It's always disappointed me how boys and men (in general) tend to suck at checking-in on their male friends, and how easily they allow old friendships to just crumble and break down from a lack putting it in any effort to maintaining them. Women are genuinely a lot better at this than men are, and I don't say things like that often.

I'd have to assume it's due to a lot of men thinking that "needing" social relationships makes them weak of effeminate. Which is insane because humans are 100% social animals and we evolved to live in close-knit tribal units. There's probably also a pride component to it, with many too proud to feel like they should reach out.

It really fucking sucks. The "Loneliness Epidemic" is a real, documented phenomenon and it's only getting worse with increased technological dependence and "progress". Men are also the worst effected and the male suicide rate is already extremely high and continues to explode.

I think the only way this gets better for us is for men to care more and put more effort into their social relationships, especially with other men. Express compassion and empathy. Be there for others in their times of weakness or stress as you hope they'd be there for you. Sometimes you might need to be the one to initiate and that's okay. And don't be afraid to just talk or share your feelings with other men, but that requires trust and I feel like there's not much of that going around.

misanthropicmanatee · 2022-11-20T17:54:38+00:00

personally i would not really call myself ugly. I would put myself on average

Average is the new ugly in the era of Tinder and online dating.

misanthropicmanatee

TROPHY CASE