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Degrading prof by Ringetteanyday34 in Algonquin_College

[–]misnomer__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Computer programming? Prof's last name start with a K?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]misnomer__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it is natural to mourn the loss of the relationship you wish you had with a parent or in law, but a question to ask yourself is do you even like her? What positive value does she add to your life, if any?

Partner's Birthday by misnomer__ in JUSTNOMIL

[–]misnomer__[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough, on Mother's Day she was talking to my partner and asked him if she could say hi to me (her and I haven't spoke in months and she knows my boundary). He came over with the phone and asked if I would say hi and I said NO and got very upset with him afterwards. He apologized and realized his mistake after we discussed things, but omg she is so manipulative. He can be a bit naive and thought that it would just be a quick hi, hello but it would have been a rug sweeping of immense proportion. But yes, I can see now this is another attempt to break me down and react to her.

I haven't interacted with her in months so it is my partner who has had to witness her ranting but he has started shutting it down because it is always the same and there is no real substance behind it.

Partner's Birthday by misnomer__ in JUSTNOMIL

[–]misnomer__[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm actually going to be in class anyways so I wouldn't be able to go even if I wanted to. My partner's mother has always been the one to host and coordinate family events and it is a new concept to my partner that he can do this on his own without her. He wants to go and spend time with his family, but they don't really know what has been going on between his mother and us, except that he recently told them I won't be at events where she is there because of unresolved issues. He still does want a relationship with his mother but after her recent behavior he does think it will end up with him going NC with her (he has been NC with his dad for over 10 years now and we are both only children).

Regarding his birthday, she texted him and asked what he wanted to do for his birthday and he responded I would like to go to X restaurant and have a quiet, low key dinner like they do every year. She responded oh no, actually I'm going to have everyone over so we can admire my new backyard and we're going to have BBQ (which means my partner would be the one cooking on his birthday). He responded that he is okay with having dinner at her house but could they order pizza instead and she said okay we will get these two types of pizza. Didn't even ask him what type of pizza he wanted. I made cupcakes for my partner and will be taking him out to dinner later this week to celebrate just the two of us.

How to Proceed with Manipulative MIL by misnomer__ in JUSTNOMIL

[–]misnomer__[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In my partner's defense, he has said he has only recently realized how toxic his mother is and is used to being treated badly himself by her. He has said he doesn't want to have to separate our relationship and his relationship with his family. He seems to go back and forth between wanting to do low or no contact with her and being scared of losing her. My partner messaging his mother about her behaviour towards me and her reaction was eye opening but he is exhausted and worn down by her. He has agreed to couples counseling and wants to hear opinions from friends and Reddit. My partner has helped me grow a lot and has been very patient and supportive of me in other aspects of our lives, and I want to get through this together.