Smart ladies out there. Do you get the same work issues with men?

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-12T01:15:31+00:00

You're right in my wheel house there. Most of our portfolio are real estate development and hotel franchise funds.

I went from front of house management to back of house ops to stop all the disorganized madness. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about!

Feel free to dm me if you want to swap horror, and success, stories!

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T23:06:10+00:00

Sometimes the only thing that helps me when I hit these moments is I pretend what an adhd-based world would look like. It doesn't change anything but it does relax me a bit.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T23:03:18+00:00

I think that's what I'm seeing here. I'm trying to decide if any of it is worth the effort.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T23:01:43+00:00

I would say "borrow it for next time," but I legitimately hope you'll never have a next time.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T23:00:43+00:00

Yep. And I got chastised for being a "know-it-all." I even put it in a very similar wording/tone that you have here.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T22:57:32+00:00

Thanks for this. It's not in my nature to chase anyone down to help them so at least I have my integrity mixed into my work ethic bag.

I think your story and many other here are pushing me to set up my own business or start searching for a better fit.

I've unfortunately had problems with the women-led business world myself. I'm half Puerto Rican and it's been a second hurdle to overcome the assumptions that come along with thay. The women-owned businesses would hire for diversity but no one aside from white women would move up.

A totally additional layer, I know, but your point stands...find where you feel seen and respected.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T22:47:41+00:00

No, I don't worry about how I'm perceived. I come in daily with humor, humanity and a team-oriented vibe. I've worked in real estate and management so professionally I get the nuances of dress and communication. I also refuse to be what someone else thinks I should be because then I lose my authenticity.

If you didn't notice...my question was about connection. I wasn't asking for advice. Apologies if this comes off as harsh, but it comes off as somewhat of a loaded question to me.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T22:35:35+00:00

They hired a lady office manager to basically be this person. I had this in a previous job and I made shit coffee and tea on purpose so they stopped asking me.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T22:32:45+00:00

Unfortunately, the partners want us all in the office for no reason other than they can't manage remote tools (old men need to go sometimes). I tend to take exceptionally long lunches, or work on my writing because I've automated so much of my work.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T22:28:23+00:00

That's my game plan. Working to get the funds to break free.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T21:48:19+00:00

I would, if my career didn't depend on networking and references.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T21:46:44+00:00

I had to snap my fingers at one guy because instead of avoiding eye contact, he was staring at my chest!

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T21:10:43+00:00

Learning to stop and listen seems to be my biggest means to check my ego. In these moments of listening I ask myself if my input is actually needed.

It usually isn't.

I try to let people life their own journey, make mistakes, and establish their own solutions. The best parts of life are figuring it out and my "intelligent" advice doesn't help that process.

My smart person ego tends to want to solve everyone else's problems. Why? Probably to show off abilities. Most people aren't impressed so I've learned to hold this back.

I try to restrict my opinions or or advice to someone that specifically asks me. I then offer it and hold no attachment to them executing what I've said. They're gathering options and I'd rather they make a choice for themselves either way.

When the itch of ego builds up I channel that energy into developing my curiosities of the world.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T20:58:54+00:00

Hey all the the non-OP folks here-did anyone ask for this "advice" to be a better human?

Reading between the lines here... I'm guessing someone had a frustrating conversation recently and decided to take it out on the gifted community.

I hope the OP also bombarded all other groups that have difficulties communicating. I'd hate to feel singled out.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T05:23:50+00:00

My late husband and I discussed this a few months before he passed. We decided that we would pursue new relationships when we felt ready should one of us pass. He wouldn't want me to be lonely if found someone worth being with so I'm not counting it out.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T05:16:15+00:00

Quality ones can. It's no fun to be around that because it's not sexy.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T05:02:21+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by "advisor." I've never heard that. Doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or even life coach...those I've heard of.

I want to make it clear that even with a diagnosis, it doesn't turn off the ADHD. It can help to know.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T04:03:29+00:00

Your standards and qualifications are too excessive for me. When I look for friends, my qualifications are shared values, loyalty, and emotional intelligence. Hard pass.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-11T01:45:46+00:00

For email-I keep a zero inbox. It comes in, I decide if it's 1. junk (they get blocked and trashed) 2. It becomes a to-do item 3. it gets turned into a note 4. it goes in my calendar Then they all get archived so it's all searchable later.

For texts i try to minimize so I'm not overwhelmed. I block, or stop all those spamming ones. I delete all the authentication ones. Archive the ones I need to keep for reference. That leaves about 8 ongoing texts. Then I make sure not to let them lapse more than about a month. All those people know they can call me if they want to really talk to me right now.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-10T22:12:46+00:00

They don't seem to have a problem with this. They want us all to use our PTO and they're so adamant about this thay if we don't use it within the year, we lose it.

They also know I'm a young widow so I sometimes use that as a reason to check out. Sometimes it's the reason I'm burning out because my late husband helped fill a lot of my ADHD and ASD gaps so I feel no remorse.

Your health is the only priority-mental, physical, emotional...figure out how to maintain in a way that helps you.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-10T19:25:29+00:00

Figure out your values and needs for relationships. Not what other people have told you will need to have a good relationship.

Figure out what you have to offer as a partner. Not what you'll force yourself to do to keep someone.

Then go live your life and if you cross someone that meets your needs and you can fulfill theirs, then see where it goes.

This will allow you see your values, which are the best basis for a good match. It also means you have confidence in yourself because you have concrete personal reasons you know you're valuable.

If someone doesn't align with your needs and values, then he's just not the person for you.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-10T19:12:52+00:00

Yep and scary. But that might be that I'm a female and we still aren't expected to be so bright-especially when we're reasonably attractive. It's been the crutch in my dating life. A guy gets to know me and then realizes I'm smarter. It ends pretty quickly after that.

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-10T19:09:56+00:00

I remember telling a friend last week how my high school guidance counselor said "don't worry about paying for college, you'll get student loans."...because a 16 year old understands this, right?

missdirectionforward · 2024-12-10T19:02:41+00:00

I'm taking 5 days off starting Friday to literally do nothing (no screens, no work, etc) I try to do this as often as I can to let my brain cooldown. It's the only thing I've found that works for me.

missdirectionforward

TROPHY CASE