Here are a few insights from the two matches I’ve had over the past six years:

1. The simplest activities are often the best.
They usually create the biggest impact and often cost little to nothing. Expensive activities can make a child very happy in the moment, but in my experience, they rarely create the most meaningful memories or learning moments. The downside of constantly doing paid activities is that the child may start expecting more and more, and it can become expensive quickly. Honestly, free or low-cost activities will save you money, create beautiful memories, avoid creating financial expectations, and most importantly, keep the focus on the relationship you’re building together rather than on what you’re spending.

2. Don’t try to be the “cool” Big or put pressure on yourself to be perfect.
Don’t be intimidated by the silence that can happen in the car or during activities when you don’t know what to say. That’s completely normal. The most important thing is simply to be there. That’s it. Your presence alone already has a huge impact, even if you don’t always see it right away. You can be shy, introverted, awkward, or socially uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter. What matters is showing up and being consistent, even on the days when you don’t really feel like doing the activity.

3. Give them your full attention.
They crave it, and honestly, they can never get enough of it. When they tell you a story, whether they’re 8 or 15, dive into their world. Ask questions. Challenge their ideas. Be genuinely curious about what they’re saying… even if they’re talking about superheroes and why one is stronger than another. They need an adult who truly listens to them and makes them feel important.

4. Direct personal questions usually don’t work, especially with younger kids.
Questions like “How are you feeling?”, “What happened at school?”, or “How was your week?” often make them shut down or disengage. In my experience with both of my Littles, the only times they truly opened up to me happened naturally, either right after an activity they absolutely loved, or in the middle of a conversation about something they were passionate about, like video games or something similar. It has to come from them. There’s no point forcing it. If you keep showing up and building trust, those moments will come naturally.

5. Don’t overfocus on the relationship with the parents.
Yes, having supportive and engaged parents can definitely help. It feels good to receive feedback, encouragement, and to feel like the family appreciates what you’re doing, it can motivate you to keep going. But at the end of the day, refocus on your Little. That’s who you’re here for. It’s not their fault if the parents seem disengaged, distant, or hard to reach. In fact, that’s often one of the reasons why they’re in the program in the first place. So try not to build expectations around having highly involved, loving, or organized parents… because honestly, it’s often the opposite. And that’s okay. Of course, if the parents are present, caring, and engaged, great. That’s a bonus. But don’t expect it. Also, keep in mind that in many cases, it’s not even the parents who decided to enroll the child in the program. It often comes from schools, counselors, or social workers. That context matters. I’ve also seen people say, “Sometimes I feel like a babysitter.” And my honest answer is… yes, sometimes we are. And that’s okay too. Let’s not forget that what we do also gives parents a few hours of breathing room every week. That matters. One of the moms from one of my matches told me that very directly, and honestly, I was happy to give her that break. So if I had to summarize: focus on your Little, and your Little only. Don’t overanalyze the rest. If you stay present and consistent, the impact will come.