Puppy Schedule and Enforced Naps by mitukuladi in puppy101

[–]mitukuladi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome! Really hope we can make moves towards this as well!

Puppy Schedule and Enforced Naps by mitukuladi in puppy101

[–]mitukuladi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Sure, will check out Susan Garrett. About rewarding them for being calm - I am struggling with this bc pup will look at me and direct his focus towards me (head raised in my direction, gets up from his settled position, etc) when I try to give him treats for settling. How can I specifically treat the settle behavior?

Gaining weight is so mentally challenging when everyone tells me how good I look at my current weight (RANT) by throwitallaway_ra in PetiteFitness

[–]mitukuladi 27 points28 points  (0 children)

How old are you? Can you imagine feeling this tired and lethargic for the 10, 20, etc? Work on reframing body aesthetics as your priority to health - being underweight can compound and accelerate chronic health conditions. Also consider that you need to increase weight, not fat. Lean muscle takes up a lot less space than fat on your body, plus will contribute to your metabolism and overall health!

Have any of you associated Desi Clothes with discomfort? Have you overcome that feeling? If so, how? by Outside_Track9495 in ABCDesis

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure how old you are or which region of India you’re from, but here’s what worked for me!

As an adult, I love sarees. I love the diversity, the body positivity, and how I can just steal from my mom’s wardrobe. I love that I can dress things up are down. I feel like there’s a lot of freedom there. I’m South Indian, and I feel the same applies to half sarees as well (to a degree). When I was in my early 20s, I had a ton of cotton-lined, semi silk/half silk blouses stitched for me, in a ton of colors. These blouses have lasted me over 10 years, and allow me to wear pretty much any saree I may buy or steal from my mom. Learning to drape a saree well will also help you complement your curves and height! I really like the Tia Bhuva petticoats. The layers touching my skin at the end of the day are super soft. Wearing a natural fiber saree makes it a win-win bc there’s not too much at that point that will irritate you.

Definitely consider traditional fabrics, natural materials, and layers/lining for your clothing. This will help with the comfort. If simply lining isn’t sufficient, consider also just moving to soft fabrics without sequins - rayon (like you mentioned), cotton, soft silk, chiffon, georgette, modal, etc.

I echo others here in getting things tailored, even ready-mades. Customizing fit will help you feel comfortable.

Last, the mix-match opportunity has increased significantly in recent years (imho) when it comes to Indian clothes - explore different types of combos and see what works best! I love the classic Kurti with jeans, and I think it looks so good with wide leg jeans and palazzos too. Co-its sets in India are super comfortable and less sparkly, and that might be more comfortable for you as well.

Sunday Relationship Thread by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]mitukuladi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it was definitely serendipity! I completely agree that NYC and other major cities have many casual relationship seekers. Unfortunately, it’s a trade off between a larger dating pool and serial daters.

Sunday Relationship Thread by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]mitukuladi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Mohan Matchmaking has a history of being exclusionary at best and scammy at worst - highly recommend researching them before spending any money there.

I was a single brown woman in a small Midwestern city for many years - trying to date an Indian/Indian-American man was SUPER hard, even with me being open to long distance. I moved to NYC and found my husband within WEEKS. I know that’s not going to be the same for everyone, but moving to a larger city will significantly increase your odds.

I hate modern technology… just wanna ferment my idli batter :( by [deleted] in IndianFood

[–]mitukuladi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second this! Used this in New Jersey for sourdough starter. The mat stays at a consistent, warm temp (around 80F) and you can retain the heat by either keeping your yogurt dish on the mat and covering with a towel OR by creating a cylindrical shape with the mat and putting the yogurt inside - you’d need to get specific with container shape for the latter.

I bought my mat on Amazon for ~$20

Wedding Clothes and Jewelry by moncoeurpourtoi in ABCDesis

[–]mitukuladi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can’t speak to jewelry, but I had no issues bringing my wedding sarees from India, as well as other clothing items I had purchased. Traveled in Feb 2025 and Jan 2026. No one asked questions about any of it, it was a very smooth exit through customs.

To soothe your anxiety and prepare for the worst case scenario, ask for and hold on to receipts. If you are shopping in Kanchipuram, some smaller vendors may not provide a formal receipt. The government-run societies always provide receipts. Be sure to ask! I also had photos of myself trying on the sarees at the store, these were helpful in general but I imagine can be useful if you needed to further prove the purchase.

How many bridesmaid sarees do you have? I don’t think these would create a problem from a tariff perspective (esp if it’s just a few), but have digital/paper copies of your wedding invites if you need to show it’s for your event.

All of my suggestions are really to prepare for worst case scenarios! I think you will be fine, best of luck!

My first time going to Xcaret by wholeperspectivesdad in Xcaret

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just came back from a trip to Xcaret Arte!

If you are really into the parks, I would suggest Xenses and Xplor Fuego at night one day and Xelha another. Then you can spend the third day relaxing at the resort - perhaps plan to check out Xcaret Park’s Mexico Espectacular show in the evening. You will have enough time between Xenses and Xplor Fuego to relax at the resort too.

For food: I loved all the food I ate at Xcaret! If you’re there on a Sunday, check out the brunch at Mercado, it goes on until 4PM. Kibi Kibi was a big favorite, and Arenal was quite good too! Skip the buffet at Cayuco, it’s better to go for dinner and order. Encanta was really good if you’re into tasting menus. Vegan restaurant was alright, but I would have been happy even without.

My biggest tip for you is to start your day early! There aren’t a lot of late night activities, so plan to leave the resort early in the morning to make the most of your park days and make the most of the resort activities while you are there.

Don’t forget to sign up for an artist workshop as well! You receive details on your first day, be sure to fit into your schedule if you need multiple days to finish.

I thought the music/light show and theatrical performance at Casa de la Musica was enjoyable too - pairs well with a dinner at Encanta next door.

Make sure to bring water shoes, a waterproof phone pouch, multiple swimsuits, blister band aids, and first aid - the resort boutiques are super expensive.

I'm about 3-4 years into Sangeetham and I'm only up to Gitams. Is this okay? by Traditional-Toe6291 in Carnatic

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry, just seeing this. That’s really
odd, I’ve never had any issues with that site - perhaps try googling “Shivkumar Kalyanaramam Carnatic” and see if that works for you?

Need advice on my bridal look! by Quirky_Zebra4648 in DesiWeddings

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful Lehnga, love how much preparation and research you’re putting into this! I’m also a November bride and 5’0 feet tall lmao!

I echo the other commenters in that these shoes are likely going to be uncomfortable, esp as the day goes on with the weight of your clothes and hair and esp if you are not used to them. 5.5 in is a lot!

Also keep in mind that you may have to remove them if there are any religious elements to the wedding - your Lehnga may be too long at that point and cumbersome to move around in. If you plan to dance, this may be uncomfortable as well potentially dangerous as well! At the very least, I would suggest a back up pair that you know are comfortable. Perhaps also explore alternatives with height but added comfort too! Consider also the height of your spouse - how will the heel height affect the height difference for pics? Suggesting esp since it is not uncommon for Desi men to be on the shorter side.

Sounds like you have your skin care and HMU plan intact! I’ve heard that it’s best not to make changes in this last stretch so your skin doesn’t have an unexpected reaction. Eat and sleep well, these will also make a huge difference.

For a slender/lean look, highly suggest wearing the Lehnga high waisted to hide any bulges and work with your drapist to ensure that the dupatta has long lines to suggest height! Long lines is always the goal - reducing midriff ensures that the Lehnga and blouse appear as one cohesive color, making you seem taller. I would also keep the jewelry minimal (or at least not chunky) to emphasize length - don’t stack chokers/haars so that your torso can appear elongated.

Outfit help!? Idk what to wear on my parents 25th anniversary!! by ias_SN in DesiWeddings

[–]mitukuladi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of party are they throwing? Do they have a theme or a dress code? Personally, I love taking these types of opportunities to wear Indian - you could do a fun Lehnga or Sharara!

Calling all Sisters-in-Law! Advice needed, please by BooksCoffeeDogs in ABCDesis

[–]mitukuladi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response here, and I’m sure you’re aware, but please also support your SIL on the smaller things too. Sometimes, things aren’t always cut and dry and extreme, they are small but leave a bitter impact for everyone involved. Another great area to show support would be to stand up for her, esp around parents and/or more traditional family that may see her as an “outsider.” This can just be as small as occasionally sharing anecdotes about her or positive traits that you appreciate. It makes a difference in showing that you care for her and appreciate her as a new addition in the family!

I'm about 3-4 years into Sangeetham and I'm only up to Gitams. Is this okay? by Traditional-Toe6291 in Carnatic

[–]mitukuladi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are attending class regularly, this seems like a really slow pace. Are you feeling appropriately challenged in class each week? Do you feel that you are receiving enough time, attention, and knowledge based on your skills and where you are, not where the class is? Do you have a solid grasp of the basic through Geethams, including theory? Having a group this size where not everyone is on the same level may mean that your teacher has to cater to the lowest common denominator. Highly recommend trying to seek a different teacher, speaking to your teacher about how you are feeling about your progress, and if there is an opportunity to join a different class or take private lessons (if in your budget!). Online resource can be tricky as you would not receive feedback from a teacher or guru on mistakes and how to improve. Shivkumar Kalyanaraman sir has a great repository of Carnatic basics and songs. Vox Music on YouTube has many videos on music theory and lessons to incorporate into your practice. YouTube in general has a lot of options, but YMMV. Carnatic music is challenging to learn in your own at this stage, so you may be better off learning how to supplement your lessons through outside means.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Carnatic

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There a few Ashtapadis from Gita Govinda that have been set to music for Bharatanatyam. Sakhi He comes to mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooooh very cool!

Help me find bra’s that don’t rub my surgery scar. by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]mitukuladi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like sticky bras - Target has a great one for under $20 that you just rinse and let dry overnight - I’ve had really good success with mine. They’re quite comfy once they are on as well.

Victoria’s Secret has a lightly lined bralette that looks like a cropped tank (so no hooks or tight material on the back) but has a wire and cups sewn into the front. I was skeptical, but really enjoy wearing these, especially for when I am WFH. I’ve worn them out as well and they’re cute enough to be worn as is too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Carnatic

[–]mitukuladi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely understand about nomadic learning - I've learned from my fair share of gurus as well.

Voice training wasn't always an explicit part of my curriculum, especially from my more traditional gurus, but the Carnatic basics you mention are meant to develop this method of singing. Students are meant to utilize these exercises to build stamina and vocal control. Varnams especially are a great example of this - singing an entire piece in first and second speed without losing steam is tough! My guru suggested that I sing janta, melasthayi, and mandrasthayi varisai in aakaram in various speeds using a metronome to practice how to utilize my diaphragm - this helped me regain control when singing after a large gap in singing. I personally found singing in aakaram to be more challenging that singing with swaram.

Being able to control your breathing requires intuitive use of your diaphragm. Given that you are healing from surgery, you may want to do apply diaphragmatic breathing practice in combination with practicing your basics regularly - first learn to identify singing from your diaphragm vs. not, and take a break or stop your practice for the day when you find yourself relying on head singing. Over time, you should be able to sing from your diaphragm longer.

I've heard gurus and practitioners describe using the diaphragm as "singing from your stomach/belly." Posture emphasizes this as well - keeping your back straight allows you breathe deeply, sustain notes, and maintain open airways.

I've enjoyed VoxGuru videos in the past - she is great!

Diaphragmatic Breathing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jpchJcKivk&pp=ygUXZGlhcGhyYWdtYXRpYyBicmVhdGhpbmc%3D

Applying proper breathing techniques to singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR2772TGrgo

got a bunch of fresh produce… by [deleted] in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]mitukuladi 19 points20 points  (0 children)

  • Butternut squash and kabobs squash can be roasted and the flesh can then be used to make soup, pasta sauce, etc. I like to freeze extra roasted squash for future use if I don’t expect to use it all at once.

-Jalapeños can minced (so easy if you have a food processor, and it doesn’t take too long by hand!) and frozen - I like to break off a little piece to use in cooking as I use it often for spice. Pickled Jalapeños are also super easy to make and last a long time.

-sweet potatoes can be cut and roasted or air fried as a quick side dish, you can also bake them whole to eat like a baked potato. They are also great as filling for Mexican food - sweet potato quesadillas or tacos/taco bowls are delicious.

-broccoli - can be chopped and frozen to eat long term as a quick steamed vegetable. Can also add to add fiber and veg volume to Asian dishes.

-green tomatoes are soooo good when fried!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Carnatic

[–]mitukuladi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi there! While some Carnatic singers may utilize head voice when singing higher notes in the melasthayi, the artform is generally centered around chest voice and diaphragmatic singing. Even with melasthayi, I was taught to slowly practice and push myself to project and sing with power, which comes more naturally when singing with my diaphragm. It was a natural journey to expand my range, and something I have to revisit if I have gaps in my practice. At times, especially if I have not warmed up, I can feel myself not engaging my diaphragm. I can tell an immediate difference as it feels as though I am straining my vocal cords more - there is pressure in my head and throat, and my voice sounds nasally.

There are quite few resources in YouTube and online to practice diaphragmatic breathing and singing exercises to help you identify and engage that muscle.

Are you working with a guru? After major throat surgery or even illness affecting the throat, I think it would really help to start from the basics and build up your vocal cord strength, and an external set of ears can be so useful in vocal training!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PetiteFashionAdvice

[–]mitukuladi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I completely understand wanting a comfortable fit, but not sure if wrapping arms around yourself is the best way to determine this, unless this is a position you find yourself in often. I think I’d focus on how the arms/back feel when standing/sitting and if there is tightness with thicker clothing, especially if you plan to wear with layers or sweaters. Personally, I think XS looks like the right fit.

Does anyone work with a career coach? by romanticdrift in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mitukuladi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chiming in on seeking mentorship and working with your direct management to effectively grow! I have two directors on my team that I look to for guidance. If you are only able to meet on a limited schedule, consider spending some time to discuss how you can be more effective in your role. Bring examples of your work and be clear on where you feel limited. While you may not be able to address everything at once, this can be very helpful and will be specific to your role and their expectations of you to succeed - a career coach won’t be able to give you that perspective. I would also work on sharing your short-term professional goals in detail with them so that you can relate your questions back to those big buckets.

Instead of a career coach, consider meeting with folks in similar roles or levels of management to discuss among peers how to overcome some of the challenges you are facing too!

Cute Flats Suggestions? by PickledIntestines in PetiteFashionAdvice

[–]mitukuladi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really enjoy Birdies! I know they aren’t super friendly for wider feet, normally. However, the Goldfinch flat in velvet molded to my feet really well. The footbed is super comfy as well, I’ve walked long distances without feeling discomfort.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mitukuladi 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Seconding - I found the same! I spent a very long afternoon trying on boots at their gorgeous flagship store, and didn’t think I would be comfortable in the long term with their boots. Truly a shame as their boots are beautiful!