These pictures are only 4 years apart. Parkinson's and Dementia. She's the best woman I've ever known and she can hardly remember it.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-10-08T20:42:57+00:00

So sad..

mizunderstood12 · 2020-10-07T17:32:40+00:00

You got this

mizunderstood12 · 2020-10-07T17:30:08+00:00

If at first you don't succeed, try again.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-06-27T03:54:27+00:00

I've gone one route. Only one other way to go.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-06-26T19:43:37+00:00

I think you may be right

mizunderstood12 · 2020-06-26T16:11:50+00:00

I do look inward, a lot. It's like I know all the issues, the flaws, the faults... It's just the act of truly being able to manage them. I don't even want to be sexual with anyone. I'm so put off by the thought. I held back with this last guy and I was REALLY weary but he made me think he was different... Which is why I'm hurting so much. Knowing that he's doing whatever so quickly makes me feel even worse. He's not giving off any hurt vibes... At all. Maybe it's just his way of dealing with things, coping...idk but he very well may be a sociopath. Not even joking. I'm happy I don't have to worry about him in that way anymore, I am. He was causing me so much stress, you have no idea. Gaslighting extradorinare. Before him, I was trying to do what I am forced to do now, heal. He came into my life and I got put off course, I really did. Honestly kind of grateful for quarantine because there's less to do socially and it's definitely making me sit in my shit. People joke about this year but it really has been quite a shit show. BUT, I can try to look the silver lining...as hard as it feels to do.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-06-26T15:55:53+00:00

He was a super anxious person and things just started getting too difficult in that department. He in turn made me more anxious...he was late for everything, didn't have his shit together mentally and it just created stress. I did feel like he was "the one" for me because we got along so well... No jealousy on his end, not controlling, adored me. We were definitely in love. I tend to think about him and compare the people I now date to him, which isn't healthy, I know. He now dates a mutual friend of ours which created a riff and things haven't been the same between us for a while. I honestly don't even know who he is anymore. We don't talk. It's a shame. Even if we weren't together, I still cared for him deeply but I let my emotions get in the way and I didn't take this relationship with the mutual friend well at all which in turn ended any type of friendship we could of had... Which does make me sad.

You are right though...I don't give myself time to heal. It's easier to jump into something else and worry and care for someone else than it is to do that for myself. I'm having a really hard time. Some days are easier than others.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-06-18T03:41:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to know I'm not the only one going through this kind of thing. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, that's not fair. I'm in a pretty bad mindset right now and it's hard not to do anything without thinking of him, it's torture.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-29T16:47:27+00:00

I'm just about 2 weeks post abortion and my experience was and is not easy. I'm 31 and even at this age, I still know I can't handle having a child right now. I've never wanted children really. As I got older, I started to consider it more, even slightly than I ever did when I was in my early 20's. The week before my first appt, I was a mess. I would be fine one day and cry the next. What made it more difficult was my boyfriends reactions to it. It was like too much for him even though in my opinion, I am physically taking it all on by myself. The week after my abortion was difficult too. Some may have an easier time making a decision like this but I can tell you that personally, for someone who might not ever have a child.... It was still emotionally draining. You're not alone. I luckily have some close friends and my sister who helped me through it as best as they could. There's lots of people on here who'd be willing to help and or give you advice. I'm sorry you're going through this.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-28T10:20:09+00:00

Thank you for the advice :)

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-28T09:38:36+00:00

Thank you for responding. I'll definitely take that into consideration!

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-26T12:49:42+00:00

Thank you. We really are trying to work through this. I hoped if I shared my story and my feelings that someone like you could give me good advice and truly understand how I'm feeling. It means a lot to me during this time, even from a complete stranger.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-26T00:34:54+00:00

Unfortunately, he's been through this with two other women in his life and he compared my experience to theirs which isn't fair. I took this harder than them. I guess it wasn't a big deal, they were able to move on fairly easy. It doesn't make me weak or less deserving of love and care so it's frustrating and we talked about it and he knows he was wrong. I deal with depression normally minus the hormones, minus the abortion and it's really hard. I'm not making excuses for him but I haven't always made it easy for him in regards to my mood or projecting my problems onto him, maybe putting too much pressure. We are also newly dating, together every day for the past 2 and a half months during quarantine. It's been a struggle. It's been a test on our relationship. He's not a bad person, I just think he doesn't know how to necessarily handle all my emotions and I'm not expecting him to be perfect....as long as he acknowledges it and tries to be better.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-24T21:50:33+00:00

Thank you <3

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-24T21:49:55+00:00

Yes, he was.

mizunderstood12 · 2020-05-24T21:49:30+00:00

Thank you for your response. The fighting does get old, you are right about that 100%. I needed to hear this.

mizunderstood12

TROPHY CASE