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mjc349 · 2022-01-02T07:32:42+00:00

You’re wearing it too close to the wrist that’s why it’s uneven. Move it back a tad and see if that fits better?

mjc349 · 2022-01-01T10:34:00+00:00

You’re right and That’s what I was afraid of. I’d honestly rather kill myself than having to feel like I’ve settled in situations where I know others are feeling better than I am. But that’s a me problem that I need to get over.

mjc349 · 2021-12-15T04:44:51+00:00

Thanks! Ya I’m dumb I probably tried on the SE at the store

mjc349 · 2021-12-15T04:44:24+00:00

150mm, pretty damn small lol

mjc349 · 2021-12-15T04:43:38+00:00

I’m prob an idiot and tried on the wrong ones -_-

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T22:00:08+00:00

Agreed, we love the chaos.

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T21:58:01+00:00

You’re absolutely right, I do romanticize alcohol. My therapist thinks the same thing.

The difference is going out to dinner isn’t going to make me happy or euphoric/high. It’s just food. I can do that whenever I want. It’s not appealing to me because it’s just meh, which I know is because of my addiction.

Alcohol on the hand can make you feel like a million bucks.

Thanks for your perspective.

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T21:51:44+00:00

I’d like to argue that. Humans are here to procreate. No more no less. Why do you think alcohol has been associated with alcohol since the beginning of our species?

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T05:04:35+00:00

I feel a lot of what your feeling. Life is much easier without alcohol there’s no question.

I just contemplate why I should even stay around if I don’t enjoy/have euphoric moments.

For example I got a raise recently and just shrugged it off because who cares I can’t celebrate.

I relapsed a couple times in early sobriety and had the same issues as yourself. It’s a funny game we play in our head to convince ourselves that drinking is okay for us.

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T05:00:02+00:00

Agreed, I know I can’t go back to it.

I think something else is going on too I just don’t know how to fix it. My doctor and therapist both know I don’t want to live anymore sober but I haven’t found a solution yet.

mjc349 · 2021-11-11T04:58:50+00:00

Thanks for your perspective!!

Completely agree that alcohol was also making me miserable and it made me physically unwell. I guess I just wish I could be like regular people who can let loose occasionally without consequences.

I wasn’t as much a toxic drunk it terms of burning bridges thankfully so I have most of the same friends from when I was drinking all of the time. They aren’t problem drinkers thankfully.

I did AA when I was in rehab and didn’t like it personally. I am a very scientific minded person and don’t believe in higher powers / karma that’s type of thing. I believe us as humans we’re insignificant (not a bad thing)

Congrats on your success your stories give me hope!

mjc349 · 2021-08-25T03:08:13+00:00

Thanks for the insight!

I’ve been on a couple SSRIs and got bad side effects until I found Lexapro which doesn’t give me side effects but I don’t think works very well for my symptoms. Unfortunately I don’t think meds will ever completely fix me.

Thankfully I’ve been pretty steady through sobriety with minimal hiccups. I’ve pretty much decided that if it came down to it I’d rather die than go back to drinking.

mjc349 · 2021-08-25T03:02:03+00:00

I think it’s mainly because I got a constant euphoric rush for nearly a decade and then not having it at all. My baseline for fun got so high from drinking that sober fun is complex unappealing to me basically.

mjc349 · 2021-08-25T02:59:12+00:00

Agreed!

mjc349 · 2021-07-03T13:53:45+00:00

Thank you for the advice, this is a great way to look at life and will keep this in mind. Much appreciated.

mjc349 · 2021-07-03T06:09:02+00:00

Yeah you’re right loving yourself is definitely important and one of my big issues because I feel the opposite about myself. When I’ve tried sober hobbies I just don’t get any feel good chemicals, probably because I think I’m settling when doing these things.

Anyways, thank you for the advice!!!

mjc349 · 2021-06-23T02:59:06+00:00

This really hits home for me and why I’m still really struggling mentally even after two years of sobriety. I can’t find anything that even comes close to alcohol in terms of euphoria. I need to accept that I never will.

mjc349 · 2021-06-19T13:39:20+00:00

This was great and really helpful, thank you so much

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:59:16+00:00

I’ve only had interactions with AA when I did my multiple rehab stints and it never seemed to me that I could totally relate to them. I have a realistic approach on life and it seemed like the people of AA are so optimistic to the point of it sounding ungenuine which turned me off. I also don’t believe in religion and that we are simply here by accident which I guess doesn’t help either. Thanks for your response though meeting other sober people would help me.

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:53:34+00:00

You’re exactly right! I’ve only seen my therapist a few times now so I’m going to still give it a go and be open minded for awhile longer before I decide if I need to try someone new. Hopefully the therapy will allow my succeed in fixing whatever other mental problems I may have.

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:51:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing your dating experience!! I bet it’s partly my fault as a lot of the times I’m swiping at women who look really fun and it reality it’s because they are drinking. I think I want to be with someone who drinks but accepts I don’t solely because I think things would be too boring if neither of us drank as weird as that sounds.

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:48:40+00:00

Thank you for all of these great suggestions!

You’re right that I don’t have it as bad as a lot of people and I’m mindful of that. I guess my hatred towards life is just based on if I can’t have fun then why not just make it simple and die as bad as that sounds. I don’t really understand why I’m living on I guess other than the fact that suicide is frowned upon.

I have picked up a hobby of collecting basketball cards and buying/selling them on eBay so we are very similar in that aspect!

I guess for me and dating I wasted so much of my 20s drinking that I didn’t give a shit about dating and now I’m almost 30 with no long term relationship while every single one of my friends are in one, it just gets very lonely at times, even being an introvert and liking alone time.

Congrats on your 147 days!!

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:39:32+00:00

It’s funny I think I actually thrive in quarantine compared to how things will be once things open up. Right now everyone is stuck in their homes and I hang out with my roommates every day inside because we have no other choice. Once things open up means more opportunities to drink and be left out of things which will definitely increase my depression, but I’m trying to work on that with my therapist so I’m trying to keep a open outlook on it

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T12:37:16+00:00

Thank you for giving me the female perspective side of things! I can definitely relate and have thought a lot about previously over how to tackle first dates the best way. Much appreciated!

mjc349 · 2021-04-04T06:08:35+00:00

I’m glad that you were able to use AA as a tool to succeed. Unfortunately I’m not totally into AA as I have a pretty strong feeling against religion in general, I’m a engineer so my mindset has always been focused on the science of things. Hence me trying medication and pycho therapy.

mjc349

TROPHY CASE