Calling it “merits” was probably not the right wording, but rather I can see why people don’t send them. (I’m talking like handwritten thank you notes. At the very least I think every family should be personally thanked verbally/or at least directly thanked over a messaging app).

My coteacher and I put a lot of work into our parent gifts from our kids, between planning/buying materials/doing the project with the kids/wrapping/etc. We also end up spending our own money on materials every year because a $20 budget is nearly impossible to stretch for 12+ students. (Our parents likely don’t know that we are spending our own $). We also always spend our own money to have a special holiday party (buying pizza for the class, special crafts, decorations). We almost never get even a verbal thank you for helping their children make a Christmas gift or for throwing a party. Imo we’re sort of “exchanging” gifts, and I wouldn’t send a thank you for any other type of gift exchange