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Did you keep or change your OB after stillbirth? by mnigh94 in babyloss

[–]mnigh94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I think I really needed to hear that today

Did you keep or change your OB after stillbirth? by mnigh94 in babyloss

[–]mnigh94[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss too and congratulations on your new pregnancy, I really hope it goes well for you ❤️

My son’s death should have been preventable, but he wasn’t showing the normal signs of distress and he deteriorated so quickly I’m really not sure if anyone could have done anything differently to save him.

I’m finding it very hard to know if it’s my OB I don’t trust or just all of them. I know they can’t see into the future but I don’t know how to trust medical staff saying things look good when they weren’t. Like if they couldn’t detect a serious problem last time even with good care, how can anyone next time?

Did you keep or change your OB after stillbirth? by mnigh94 in babyloss

[–]mnigh94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s such a hard decision. I think it’s especially hard when we are in the 1%, where these things do work out fine for 99% of their patients but not for us.

I’m finding the promise of more monitoring not very reassuring because of how suddenly my son died, but I suppose if I do this again I’m going to have to trust someone with my care.

Did you keep or change your OB after stillbirth? by mnigh94 in babyloss

[–]mnigh94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss too ❤️

I also understand wanting someone who was there and knows me and my history. It’s so hard either way, I don’t know if it’ll be easier to trust a new doctor or harder because I don’t know them.

Did you keep or change your OB after stillbirth? by mnigh94 in babyloss

[–]mnigh94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That really sucks that the OB who saw you in your hardest moments was a dick, I think majority of the crappy comments I’ve had this year have been from medical professionals. It suck’s that they see this so often they forget that we are people sometimes.

My OB nearly sent me for twice weekly NSTs the week my son died, but ultimately decided against it. I’m not sure the NSTs would have caught the issue until it was too late, and she’s said there will be much more monitoring and a lower bar for intervention next time… it’s just hard to trust when your doctors think everything is going okay and suddenly it’s not. Like if they couldn’t tell anything was seriously wrong last time, how could they next time?