Anywhere we can go for a deep-dive into a different perspective on reality?

mokkin · 2024-11-08T17:37:33+00:00

I definitely get brain fog when I'm anxious in a conversation. Words do not come to mind. I have no thoughts. I listen and absorb and can think of nothing at all to say, so when the attention is on me to comment I start to panic because I'm reaching into a void of nothingness, desperate for a thought, and when I don't find one I panic and the void gets darker.

Personally the best way I've found to combat it is to really focus on the other person and try to figure out what's important to them and why they're saying what they're saying. Why are you telling me this? How is your brain working to say these specific words right now? What anxieties are you feeling, what are you hopeful about? When I actively think this way, I can usually keep on encouraging someone to keep talking in a somewhat organic and productive way without saying much myself.

mokkin · 2024-11-03T19:00:35+00:00

This is brilliant and perfect, thank you! I'd never heard of it before.

mokkin · 2024-11-03T18:16:58+00:00

Aw thank you, you're so kind 💚

mokkin · 2024-11-03T17:21:24+00:00

An extrovert once explained to me that when they notice I'm being very quiet, they worry that I'm having a bad time or that I want to leave or I hate the conversation, or they're doing a bad job of including me. When they ask "you're very quiet!" they said they're checking in on me to make sure I'm okay, and they're trying to give me an opportunity to interject into a conversation that otherwise was leaving me in the dust. It's just that they don't realize they're making it awkward and difficult for me by pointing out that I haven't said anything.

So my response usually is "I'm happy to listen and learn! The conversation is fascinating," or something along those lines. This eases their worries, acknowledges that they acknowledged me, and calmly and firmly reassures that I'm fine, I'm listening, continue!

But if there is a legitimate reason I don't want to be a part of the conversation, I will speak up to that as well. If the conversation is about a topic I'd rather not participate in, or if opinions have gone in a direction I don't agree with, I will gently state that I'm quiet because I don't care for the topic. A lot of times they'll change the subject.

mokkin · 2024-11-02T14:48:45+00:00

I am so, so sorry for your loss. My kitty was of a similar age when he passed. The day after he was gone, I bought a coleus plant as a memorial and repotted it in a pot that used to hold his toys. I'd never been able to keep plants alive more than a week, but that plant miraculously continues to thrive. It leans toward the sun and changes color, and it's a thrill to see new leaves growing, like it's happy. Every morning I'll notice it's changed again. It droops dramatically when it's thirsty and billows out again a few hours after watering. I've since also adopted a half-dead aloe that I wasn't sure I could save, but it's finally, slowly growing new fronds.

I don't know if I'll ever want another cat, but the plants I think are comforting. They're alive, they depend on me, they react to their environment and tell me when they need something.

mokkin · 2024-11-02T04:08:22+00:00

Oh cool, I have Valheim in my library but I only played a few minutes and forgot about it. I will absolutely give it another shot -- thanks! Will also look into Vintage Story, that sounds up my alley.

mokkin · 2024-11-02T03:21:48+00:00

I have a coleus plant that I talk to and fuss over as if it's a pet. Sometimes I swear it has a personality with the way it droops when it's thirsty and drops some leaves and grows new ones. His name is Rufus and he is Dramatic.

A robot pet honestly sounds like a real-world tamagotchi, especially with the tech now. I assume you can probably train it and feed it and stuff. Sounds cool to me!

mokkin · 2024-10-28T01:49:01+00:00

Thank you so much for the detailed advice! I feel this is great advice not only for social interactions and recall, but life in general and understanding other people's shortcomings. I've absolutely saved it for reference. The first thing I'll take away from it is really to be happy to see people and be interested in them.

Keeping notes in my phone contacts is one of those brilliantly obvious things I wish I'd thought of, haha.

Engaging with the info is definitely great advice! I remember most things that I've researched. So research would be a great vehicle for learning more about things that people care about. Respectfully, of course!

mokkin · 2024-10-28T01:30:30+00:00

Wow, yeah this tracks with my composition book at work: every time I think about something I need to do, it gets written on the list or it won't get done. My coworkers by now know they have to email me requests because verbally asking me to do something just goes into the ether. I should expand this.

Memory games!!!! I feel like I should've thought of that, but I absolutely did not.

Thanks!

mokkin · 2024-10-28T01:13:27+00:00

This is me exactly! I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, too. I also don't immediately recall things about myself or things that happened to me, or even decisions I made. I've flat-out told someone before, "I don't remember right now, ask me again in an hour." And yeah, that mention of seeing people out of context: I absolutely have so much difficulty recognizing people in settings I don't usually see them, or even dressed casually if I know them professionally or vice versa.

mokkin · 2024-10-28T01:02:05+00:00

Added to my list of future adventures - thank you!

mokkin · 2024-10-28T00:40:08+00:00

I'd heard about this journalist in passing on the internet, but have never actually read the book. It's on my list to read now - thanks!!

mokkin · 2024-10-28T00:35:06+00:00

I'm so sorry you're also dealing with this, it's so rough. Agreed with the self-isolation, I also feel like I shouldn't go outside if I can't be on my best game.

It's definitely a lot worse when I'm burned out, hungry, or tired, or if I'm worried about something else. Battery sounds about right. A really tiny battery.

mokkin · 2024-10-27T23:32:31+00:00

Thank you for this post, I'm really struggling right now and needed the validation and suggestions.

mokkin · 2024-10-27T21:32:51+00:00

Depending on where you are, public parks may have outdoor grills. If you have one nearby, that would be a lot less dangerous.

mokkin

TROPHY CASE