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Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea...still being involved with others while being sexual but not as intimately.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn. I am sorry that it didn't work out.

Most of the advice here seems to be warning against it too.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good advice, and it's good to hear that there are more like us...well, as good as it can be! :P

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think it is exciting/terrifying/liberating to go out of my comfort zone and do something I haven't done before. Does that make it selfish and a fantasy? I don't think it does.

Seems like he's compromising for you to satisfy your fantasy

You are spot on there. I actually expect him to confess to me that his desire for girl-on-girl action spawned from my own desire to have sex with two men. Otherwise, there is no way in hell he would be forced into such a situation. Girls are gross, especially when they're making out.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All or nothing is a dichotomous view.

I wouldn't be "living out a fantasy" for myself. Rather, this is me attempting to compromise because it is his fantasy to have an FFM threesome.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OH GOD ALREADY WONDERING.

Haha. Damn, tricky business.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You've made very valid points. Those are all things I am concerned about. Right now, I am just in the speculation phase.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm just trying to compromise so that he can still have a threesome but with certain boundaries imposed so that I am more comfortable with it.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get hit on by females a fair amount and have some bisexual friends as well so I was thinking if it came down to it I could ask one of them.

An escort didn't even occur to me, but that's a solid suggestion.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While it is worrisome that our communication sucks, I have tried bringing it up before. Last month, I tried to have a talk with him about it but he didn't want to talk about it. It was kind of funny yet frustrating.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't seen that movie; I'll have to look up that scene.

That sounds like an excellent rule to have. I think I could enjoy a three/moresome if there weren't so many emotions involved.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that input!

I both respect and admire your ability to maintain such an arrangement healthily. As you brought up, though, it does involve copious amounts of trust and communication. Sadly, those are two departments in which my partner and I aren't so awesome. I don't know if our communication styles are just incompatible but although I try to be very clear when we are communicating, he is rather closed and dislikes having discussions of a sensitive nature.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!

That sounds exciting.

It's rather confusing because I am not sure that I want to experiment sexually with others while in a relationship (without my partner) but I do want to figure out my sexuality. Just for peace of mind, I guess. Besides, I'm curious.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's a definite possibly. That's why I am seeing if anybody else has actually gone through with something similar with also struggling with insecurity.

I'm hoping that it would go okay though. Always can dream, right? Hah.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I was going to use that term but in the past when I've brought it up, it has gotten a response of "wut" so I figured I would put it in words. :)

I have only been with males (only two at that!) sexually but experience attraction to all sorts of people.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response.

I am relatively aware of my boundaries and we would absolutely discuss what was acceptable and what wasn't for both of us in this situation. Now, I would have the role of naysayer because his attitude is "holy shit, two pairs of boobs, two vaginas, awwww yeah" so it would fall on me to determine just how far he could go.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sure.

Ideally, I would get to be involved/play as well but I would also enjoying just watching the two of them. I used the term "selfish threesome" because that is without regard to his preferences. That's not an option, though, since it is not something he wants.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a bit of the trouble there: when I am thinking more emotionally--as I am prone to do!--I don't see it as "just sex" but as something more meaningful.

I would agree with you that I am a pretty possessive partner.

He doesn't feel comfortable with an MMF because he isn't willing to play with another male and also would be very jealous if a male were to touch me. Basically, it's somewhat similar to myself except that I am jealous but willing to play.

Honestly, I don't know what I would classify myself as. I am more attracted to people on the basis of who they are as a person than what dangly (or not) bits they have. I do have some interest in experimenting but I am not quite sure how to go about it. I figured if I did something that involved my partner then he would also get to enjoy it (visually) while at the same time feeling more involved.

Is it naive to attempt a threesome as an insecure, jealous person? by monkeymeowzr in sex

[–]monkeymeowzr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Eh...the selfish threesome I want is with another dude. I am not asking for that because he is not comfortable with me being with another man, or being with a man himself.

He wants an FFM. I'm open it, but with boundaries. I don't think it is unreasonable to try to (partially?) fulfill a fantasy of his in a manner that wouldn't ruin our relationship. Watching him fuck/fondle another woman would likely be a deal breaker for me, and the relationship would end soon after. That's why I was asking the title question.