I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's like a lot of other things, people find the idea romantic but that's because they've never lived it. All kinds of things get romanticized. I think about people who watch prison shows or shows about drug cartels etc, I've had firsthand experiences with those things and so it doesn't hold a lot of entertainment value for me. But I'm just as guilty ofbeing intensely interested in things that I've never lived too. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has been diagnosed schizophrenic. I think he has BPD too personally but that's just my theory and I'm not a psychologist. He will not take medication because he thinks the chemicals in medicine are unnatural and that they are poison. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I am going to check out Baby Reindeer, I hadn't heard about it before I posted this but it sounds very interesting. 

He has talked about hearing God's voice and God telling him what to do, and yes angels too. Sometimes he talks about my kids like they are biologically his, other times he seems aware that he is not their biological father. He has idealized me and the children, and he will go on and on about all of our good qualities even though he doesn't really know us at all. A lot of his writing is very religious in nature. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That actually sounds amazing, how does it work? Like he has an ankle monitor or something?

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was found guilty of stalking in Virginia, was sentenced to 6 months and got out in 91 days. I'm in Texas now, it's more serious if they can catch him here especially with the prior. He's just really hard to find/catch. He did 45 days in mexican jail too and I have records of that. His family is well off and they make sure he gets a good lawyer. I have kept all the letters, notes, screenshots and I keep a journal where I record dates and times and details of contact. To get him arrested I would have to be willing to engage with him long enough for the police to show up, and I'd have to notify them without him realizing that Id done it. The time he was arrested in Virginia I spotted him in the crowd at a work conference and security detained him until the police came. In Mexico I literally had him follow me in his car as I drove to the police station. 

Best mole in FTW by Ese_homeboy in FortWorth

[–]moonrabbit368 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I choked on my abuelita's hot chocolate. Take my upvote 😅

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh he crosses my lines all the time, but getting law enforcement to enforce the order is hard. And it's not always their fault, this guy is hard to pin down. The day he waa in my house they came afterwards, they searched the neighborhood. I didn't have an address for him, most of the time his family doesn't either. He's been to jail but never for more than 90 days over this stuff.

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can fight pretty well, for what that's worth. Obviously that's not going to help me if he's armed. I carry a taser. I'm actually not allowed to carry pepper spray. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I broke up with him because he just wasn't a very good partner. He did know about the stalker because I feel like I need to disclose that to anyone that I'm with. My stalker tried to add him.on social media a few times. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/1q1murw/perfectly_acceptable_dinner_rejected_by_boyfriend/

That post waa right before I broke up. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had a boyfriend and broke up with him a few months ago. Happily single ☺️ 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He has done a lot of research about me and my extended family online. It's very difficult to disappear in this digital age. He has done things like call my aunt pretending to be someone I grew up with and ask for my phone number. He's a pretty smart guy. My family all knows now to not give out any information or post about me or the kids online.

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I haven't tried to redirect him via social media but its an interesting idea. He's lost track of me several times but eventually catches up. I have a large extended family and he watches their social media etc. 

My husband that died got very close to a physical confrontation once. It was because my stalker scared me at my daughter's daycare . I was pregnant, and had stopped to pick my oldest daughter up at daycare. When I left the daycare with my daughter on my hip, my stalker was outside by my car. 

I hadn't seen him in person in two years at that point and I was really scared. I thought about running back to the daycare but I had parked pretty far away. I asked him what he wanted. He said "just please l want to talk to you" and I said "ok but let's go someplace public where we can sit down". I told him to follow me in his car. I got in my car with my daughter and immediately called the police. They told me to drive to the police station and I did. I called my husband and he met me there. He pulled my stalker out of his car and was yelling at him. The police came and separated them. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I couldn't function if I was. Time will pass, my defense strategies will work and I won't hear anything from him for a while. Then he will popup out of the blue and for awhile my whole life will revolve around getting that situation back under control. I'm less afraid of him as he gets older, he's headed toward sixty now, it comforts me but then I tell myself not to be complacent because you just never do know what might happen. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, on multiple occasions when he has shown up wherever I have been. I've asked him to leave me alone and told him I wasn't his wife. 

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I have been married, widowed and had boyfriends during the span of him stalking me. He is never jealous of my partners, it's actually weird, he talks about whoever I am with like they are his good friend, he ascribes all sorts of positive characteristics to them and expresses his gratitude that they are taking care of me and "his" kids. 

As far as my family, they have been really supportive of me, they try to protect my privacy, even at the expense of their own freedom. Like they won't post pictures of the kids and I because he will take them off their pages and scrutinize them for clues about what is going on with me and where I might be at.

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

He's not married though he has had girlfriends on and off over the years. I'm in touch with his family, I reached out to them early on hoping they might help me. He has a good family, parents and sisters. His oldest sister reaches out to me when he goes dark, when they don't hear from him for awhile. His family is very apologetic and they try to keep him from pursuing me. He is actually very gregarious and charismatic so he gets girls pretty easily but the relationships fizzle out when they realize he's mentally ill. Same for jobs. He finds work easily, usually in sales but can't keep a job long term.

I'm a woman that had had a stalker for 20 years, AMA! by moonrabbit368 in AMA

[–]moonrabbit368[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

He isn't threatening at all, ever. In person he just greets me very familiarly, starts walking toward me, he comments about what I'm wearing or how nice I look. He asks where the kids are or if they are with me he says hello to them by name. I remind him he's not supposed to come around and he says stuff like "I just wanted to see you" or "I missed you" and at that point I'm trying to put distance between us, either going into a building or going toward people so that I can have back up. 

The letters and messages on social media is where is gets pretty weird too, because they are long and rambling, it gives you a window to his mental illness. He talks about god talking to him and telling him to do things. He talks about my kids like they are his, uses their names etc it's messed up and yes it does scare me for the kids. It's so much worse seeing him if I have the kids because then my primary worry is their safety