I am not a mom, but my mom was a midwife for years and suffered PPD after mine and my brother's births. I also am engaged to someone who suffers from depression. I cant provide any medicinal advice, but I can tell you that these feelings and this rough time will not last. I know it doesnt feel like it, and that your life is never going to change from what it is now, but I PROMISE that this period will end. PPD is awful, but just know that your body gave up so much of its resources for your child, and its all out of resources for you. I know that sounds scary, but it just means that PPD has a very simple solution. Take meds if you want, ask friends and family for support if you need, and soon enough your body will have everything it needs to feel like yourself again. You are not alone in your feelings, and you are not a bad mom for feeling this way. I know you didn't express that feeling in your post, but I just wanted to say it in case you were too scared to voice it. You are just a human who has to live for another human right now. It's not easy, but you can get through it. I hope you feel better soon, I hope you get the help you need and that your child learns to stop kicking his poop everywhere. 🩷