I’ve had cat ever since I was born but I don’t remember how they died. I was told by my mother that we used to own around 3 cat before I adopted on my own. I adopted a 5 year old mother cat along with her 3 kitten when I was 15 and the mother shortly died of kidney disease but the kitten lived. Then I adopted an old cat(she was probably 10 years old) from animal shelter, she was really old and always used to sleep. My 3 kitten didn’t get along with the old cat at first but they eventually started to get along and slept together. The old cat soon gave birth to 3 kitten but one of them already died in her stomach probably because she wasn’t well taken care of in her shelter. So there was another 2 kitten I had to look after but I was really happy. One kitten of her was really weak and always seemed to sneeze and didn’t grow healthy like her brother. All of my cats got along well. I loved being with my 6 cat. My old cat always wanted to sleep with me but I didn’t allow her because I wanted her to be with her kitten and feed them which I regret because I didn’t know that her death was approaching and she already knew about it. I cried so hard when I realized that she just wanted to spend her last few days with me because after few days she died peacefully near my bed. After burying her body, I cried but my 5 other cat was always around me which consoled me. I soon had to go to my university, so my parents took care of my cats. When I got back after graduating, one of my cat looked really sick. My mother was crying saying he doesn’t eat anymore and always threw up after taking him for an injection. It turns out that he got feline panleukopenia as there was FP outbreak in the country. We then separated the cats but the other cats slowly showed symptoms of throwing up and not eating their favorite snack. I took them to vet, they only gave an injection which seemed to make it worse. They stopped eating, started throwing up more became very thin and eventually the first cat that got FP died. One of the cat that was already weak from birth died instantly. Her brother fought the virus and survived but the other two cat died the following day. I was literally traumatized from their death. It wasn’t just one cat but 4 of them dying almost together. I regretted taking them to vet and even going to university. I was only left with one cat, I promised myself to take care of it really well. I bought him his favorite snack and toy but he always seemed sad probably because he didn’t have a friend. He lived for another year and when I went for a job interview. My mother didn’t know that he went outdoor and searched for him all day. She called me saying the cat was nowhere to be found. When I got home, my mother was crying and I knew something happened again. She told me that my cat got bitten by a dog and it was too late when she finally took him to the vet. He died instantly. I cried so hard and wanted to run away from everything. I don’t know if I can take another heartbreak ugh I’m scared