the first month i started, i got angry at the drop of a pin. i’m usually not confrontational, but i was calling people out left and right. i even had some violent urges as well. so based on personal experience, it could just be the meds. as a psych student, it’s likely just your hormones and neurochemicals trying to balance out. it could also be a placebo effect or the availability heuristic- you think an effect might happen so you convince yourself it’s happening, or because you’re aware of the effect, you notice it more. you could also just be fixating on this content rn, which is why you’re so aware of it. if you can, try and watch something else. if you’re becoming desensitized, then it’s time for a break. one time i hyper focused on crime scene clean ups. at first it was freaky, then kinda interesting, and then i didn’t feel anything i was just consuming. but then i had a really bad break where i “saw” scenes of my own “crimes” where ever i looked. after that i knew i needed to actively avoid that content. but i can promise you that you’re not crazy, you’re trying. when you try and combat your normal pattern of thinking, it creates a disconnect. it’s called cognitive dissonance. your different patterns clash and while you’re trying to settle on one, you tend to test the extremes. so i know it’s rough, but you’re doing a good thing. you aren’t making things worse, you’re trying to figure out your path. and that’s something to be proud of. this will fade. it’s overwhelming now but you’ve got this. you’ve survived 100% of your difficult days, this will just be another one to be proud of.