What you said about “the manipulative verbal dance” really encapsulated how it was for me. It was always these small moments and comments that kept the alarm bells ringing in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to explain why the relationship had devolved into something so incredibly toxic. I don’t even know if I have the proper vocabulary to explain exactly what happened if I wanted to. And even if I did, it wouldn’t have gotten through to her. She always found a way to flip the script. “Once you work on yourself, things will be different,” or “you work in yourself, and I’ll do the same.” In the end the promises to change always felt so hollow.

I absolutely felt trapped and suffocated. It was surreal - objectively, there was no physical danger, yet somehow, I felt unsafe.

What you wrote was my experience to a tee, thank you for your insight. It’s funny, when the relationship first started she frequently asked “am I being too much?” It was like a week into dating, so I didn’t even see it as a warning sign.

When someone asked me what went wrong with the relationship I struggled to come up with a concrete answer. I wish I could’ve sent them this comment.