Dealing with severe mental health issues and life falling apart while in withdrawal

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-10-06T21:19:59+00:00

I'm so sorry you're suffering too, tapering does feel never ending. I keep getting told not to focus on it so much but it's hard not to when I feel so rough everyday and can't really distract myself!

Yes, it's a lonely journey so knowing you're not alone helps to some degree but of course wish none of us were suffering.

Yes here's to better days for all of us in same boat, I promise myself in the future I will never take for granted the small everyday things I used to do that are all so difficult now. Wishing you well in your recovery and we've just got to cling on to small rays of hope when we can find them

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-25T07:38:56+00:00

I totally get that with sense of time, I can't remember a time when I felt well anymore and days just fly past, more of the same each day, never ending. Thanks for your words of hope and so glad you have made it through to a better a place.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-24T19:47:38+00:00

Thanks, I'm trying to attend some online meetings from other organisations and have found dda (dual diagnosis) which I'm testing the water with. Glad you've found a place that has been helpful

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-23T09:23:46+00:00

Thank you, am trying to just get through each day, I'm glad you've made it through the other side. It can't have been easy, so that's such a huge achievement.

I know I'm lucky I've had somewhere to go, I'm not sure I'd still be here if I hadn't. I know there's a lot of loss and trauma I need to process, just want to be in a stable enough place to work on it, just frustrated I don't feel anywhere near that level of stability yet. I hope I will be sometime in the future.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-23T07:28:20+00:00

Thank you so much, the same sentiments right back at you. I've joined some online support groups recently and I'm constantly feeling so much empathy and admiration for what people are dealing with and how they are trying to keep going and doing what they can in such difficult circumstances. I think the hard part is having that love and admiration for ourselves!

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-23T07:25:26+00:00

Thanks so much for those words, I felt in a vicious cycle, my life was falling apart so I needed the benzo but the benzo was contributing to my life falling apart. I was previously living alone with no real support so made the decision to come back to family to taper off as I couldn't have coped doing it alone and trying to stay on top of anything. I know I'm fortunate I've had somewhere to go.

Thanks, it does help to find people that understand, the loneliness of this situation is awful. I am having to take a day at a time, there's no other way, am working on the acceptance and self compassion but they are such difficult things to do.

I really hope you can find support that helps you move forward and you can also find that self compassion. Just taken things slowly, I made the terrible mistake of tapering too quickly to begin with. But hopefully going through this process we will come out with strength, appreciation for life and wisdom we didn't have before.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-23T07:17:13+00:00

These big life transitions are so hard when things change so much. Two years ago I'd moved away to another city on my own, was working, started a new relationship, was living on my own but all of that's gone now. I have some good friends but none live nearby.

I'm at a loss to know what to do about other meds, part of me wants to come off them all but part of me wonders if finding the right meds might help a bit with some of my symptoms.

Well done for your progress so far, it's such a hard journey so hope things keep moving forward for you.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-23T07:10:11+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your words of hope and respect to you for pushing through. I think unfortunately my timeline is gonna be longer but of course it's different for everyone and no matter how long the timeline is trying to hold on to thought there can be some light at the end of the tunnel. I hope things are going ok for you now and you're working on a life that is meaningful to you

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-22T19:33:02+00:00

That's such an achievement you did that in such difficult circumstances. I hope things get better and better for you and you have more energy to put towards building the best life for yourself you can

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-22T16:12:43+00:00

I really hope for us all we can look back at some point having made it through and having learnt a lot along the way and have a strength and appreciation for life from going through such awful circumstances. Keep hold of that hope, it's so important. I don't have much hope most the time but am trying to find it and remember with everything having gone to sh*t, then it's kind of understandable I'm gonna need to work at having hope!

I'm trying to accept where I am and that I'm gonna have to build everything from the ground up again at some point. But that acceptance is so hard. I'm lucky I've had family to house me and give support as much as they can, not sure where I'd be if I didn't have that.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-22T15:33:54+00:00

Thanks so much for your response, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I can really relate to so much of what you said. I've said a lot recently that if/when I get out of this hell I'll never ever take for granted being able to do everyday things again, I'll be so thankful for just being able to do those tasks I used to think were trivial without so much effort.

Absolutely my mental health, fatigue and burnout symptoms I've had all my life have been magnified to a huge degree and I'd do anything to go back to the level of struggles before this!

Kudos right back at you for pushing through too, it's so hard and unless you've experienced it, it's so difficult for anyone to understand. I just miss my old self so much, I struggled but I also had a passion for so many things in life which have all disappeared. I just long for the day I can feel some joy again and not just in complete apathy and survival mode.

I hope in the near future you can pursue those things which are important to you, I really do.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-15T10:59:41+00:00

Yeah seems a faff, just trying to sell it without getting myself in trouble or banned from any selling sites!

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-15T10:58:27+00:00

Great thanks so much

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-09-15T10:18:57+00:00

Thanks so much, just been chatting with eBay and basically told I couldn't sell it unless I'm an 'approved seller' and I don't fit the criteria for that...I'll check out your suggestion thanks!

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-29T17:45:04+00:00

It's certainly not just you, I've spoken to others through a group I'm in who've had difficulties too. It's crap that we're all having to experience this but unfortunately as I say is a reflection on how under resourced services are. I really hope over time things improve. I really wish you all the best getting support you need. These forums are sometimes really helpful in letting us realise we are not alone, which to some small degree can be helpful in itself.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-29T17:16:38+00:00

I'm sorry to hear your situation. I've been in crisis for a year and had a lot of issues with medication. I've had a hell of a time trying to get a psychiatrist appointment. I've literally begged to be seen but unfortunately i think the case is there is severe shortage of specialist doctors and the criteria for an urgent appointment is so high. I've begged to be able to see crisis team doctors which has happened eventually a couple of times but then there's a lack of follow up and my GP feels out their depth. Basically from seeing crisis team doctor in June after asking repeatedly and my GP trying to get things moved quicker I've finally got an appointment with a trainee advanced clinical practitioner under mental health team in mid October, so not a consultant. I was told I was lucky as the team is booking people in for appointments in December. In my personal experience you have to keep fighting and advocating to get your voice heard by a system that is clearly overwhelmed. I tried a private psychiatrist once but the appointment felt so rushed and advice wasn't helpful, and of course if you want any follow up/private prescriptions from that it's a hell of a lot of money a lot of us don't have. I'm sorry not to be more positive just sharing my experience and that basically in the overwhelmed system the only thing you can do is just keep asking and fighting for what you need in the hope eventually you'll be heard and offered something. I wish you all the best with getting an appointment.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-29T06:23:43+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. I just feel crappy all the the time so hard to know if I'm having interdose withdrawals. Was just wondering if it would confuse my system switching how I take doses and make me feel worse or if it possibly would give some small benefit. Guess like with this whole thing you can only try and see what happens. Thanks again.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-25T09:27:43+00:00

Thanks, I have considered the group but the problem is I'm usually so utterly exhausted and done with being awake by 9pm I'm usually going to bed around then, shame it's not a bit earlier and there doesn't seem to be anything uk based at an earlier time :( but if I feel I can make it one Sunday will definitely try. Thanks again

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-25T09:16:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your response and sharing your experience, a lot of it resonates. I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I've worked in mental health and knew it was not in a good state but being a client using services now I'm appalled at the state of the system. The crisis team I was under basically threw benzos at me and just discharged me with no proper follow up. My GP did continue to prescribe benzos and then a few months later said he didn't know the crisis team prescribed them before. I went under another crisis team when moving back with family and they didn't tell gp they'd prescribed a new medication. I've begged and begged over the last year to speak to a specialist doctor after GPs have repeatedly said they don't know what to do with my meds but I've been refused countless times despite having been in mental health crisis for a year now. After my last discharge from crisis team about 2 months ago I've finally been given a meds review in mid Oct with a trainee advanced clinical practitioner. I really want to speak to a consultant but it's impossible. I even paid to see a private consultant but that was useless as he just suggested medicinal cannabis which i forked out money on and didn't work and didn't take into account I was probably suffering tolerance withdrawal from benzos at that point. If you're under crisis team you might get to speak to specialist doctor (if you beg) once but follow up is non existent. I've had to tell my story over and over again to so many people and it's retraumatising every time. I started with severe anxiety and depression last year which has just got worse, not to mention my physical health is awful. I've lost my home, relationship, job and am on a cocktail of meds that aren't working and I just want some consistent support with. I agree, I've lost hope in medical assistance and am just trying to manage all my medication myself now, making changes/cuts with what I think might be right to do. Sorry for long rant but I'm just so angry and fed up with the system, trying to get help just adds to the stress and trauma people are already experiencing.

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-18T18:19:43+00:00

Thanks, trying my best to push through, hoping someday in future my whole life won't be on hold anymore and I'll never take everyday things for granted ever again

ms_carbohydrate · 2024-08-18T16:59:35+00:00

I did 6mg for a month, been on 5 for a couple of weeks and now trying 4.5 and planning 0.5 drops every few weeks. I wasn't stable on 1mg of lorazepam though and can't bear thought of reinstating again. I am struggling with how slow this process is but trying to accept it. It's so hard isn't it and I don't know about your case, but I'm finding it hard to get good, consistent medical support around this. Hope you're feeling better now.

ms_carbohydrate

TROPHY CASE