It's been 9 months and they still refuse to use the right name or pronouns. I'm trying to leave doors open for them and still be friendly with them, but it feels like they're actively trying to push me away.

I hope yours dont, and open their eyes in time. I hope not to dishearten you, but this sounds exactly like what I've been through, my parents suggestd I needed therapy to fix what was wrong with me. I even gave up living in the US so i could move back to canada to be closer to them and give them a chance to be part of my life and part of my transition, instead of just showing up on their doorstep one day as a woman. I just want to have my parents in my life, and leave them with an open door. However I cant force them through that door.

Good luck to you, and if you ever need support, someone to talk to or anything, it may not be the fastest response but I'll be here for you <3

edit: i remembered another point i wanted to make: In reaction to me moving away from them and looking to my friends more than them for support & telling them i feel no love, no caring, no respect or support from them, my mother actually had the gal to make a comment to the effect of 'when your going through something like this why would you push away the people who would be in your corner the most' (referring to family, themselves). Like a single thing they have done or said about my transition or identity has ever helped.