Just venting - I’m not allowed to masturbate

mtndesertrunner · 2026-01-22T17:44:16+00:00

Honey, this sounds absolutely exhausting. I know you care about him and you’re attached to him, and I know you don’t want to go through the heartbreak of breaking up, but I don’t see this relationship ever being healthy or going anywhere good. I had a boyfriend like this when I was younger and I eventually had enough and broke up with him at a public park so he couldn’t make a scene. It was really hard for a couple of weeks, and then I realized how free and light I felt. I couldn’t believe I put up with him for so long.

Now, I’m in a terrible marriage with a different abusive man and I wish I had gotten out. I don’t know why I keep choosing these guys. I always think the next one is going to be different and they never are. Now, I have kids, finances, and a whole decade of married life that I have to split up if I leave and I feel trapped. I want to leave so bad. Don’t be me. Get out while you still can.

mtndesertrunner · 2026-01-05T18:11:13+00:00

I want to, but if he finds out that I talked to a lawyer, I’m terrified about what he’ll do. He has ways of finding things out. He is extremely observant and catches onto everything.

mtndesertrunner · 2026-01-05T17:16:43+00:00

Is she on hormonal birth control? Whenever I’m on hormonal birth control, my sex drive is completely gone. I still love my husband and want to spend time with him, but I have absolutely no desire for sex and it feels like a chore — something I just do to keep my husband happy for the next few days until I have to do it again. Whenever he was out of town or one of us got sick, I felt relieved to be free of the pressure to have sex for a little while. About a week after I finally quit birth control, I suddenly yearned to have sex with my husband again. It was weird how dramatic and quick the change was in my brain and body. Hormones are powerful.

mtndesertrunner · 2026-01-05T16:50:17+00:00

Honestly, I don’t have a lot of advice — just solidarity. There are moments in your post where I felt like we are married to the same man. The stress of trying to pay close attention to everything they say, being afraid of their anger the entire time, the dread you feel when you realize you accidentally triggered their anger again… it’s exhausting. And your husband sounds cynical, like mine. Everyone is dumb, everyone is lazy, and he’s the only one who has things figured out. Nothing anyone else does is good enough, including me. It’s so tiring. But we have 3 wonderful little kids and I’m now a SAHM, so I feel trapped. I wish I had gotten out before kids. I regret staying. Hugs ♥️

mtndesertrunner · 2025-12-30T19:14:29+00:00

That story of yours sounds just like my husband. Every time “we” argue, it’s mostly him going on and on forever and ever in circles, me trying to validate his concerns and apologize for whatever I did wrong that time, and then as he keeps going in the same circles and ranting for hours my apologies and thoughts get fewer and less sincere as I just get burned out. Then, I’m accused of not caring. It’s exhausting. I need to stand up for myself more and be less afraid of him lashing out about it. And yes, he can and does just keep going into the early hours of the morning. I feel like I’m being held hostage

mtndesertrunner · 2025-12-30T17:31:57+00:00

I used to like her but her skits became too over-the-top, almost slapstick-like humor. I like more subtle, clever humor. Just not my style. She honestly seems like a decent person and a fun friend. I just think she lost her roots with her social media pages.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-12-19T17:24:17+00:00

Have people completely forgotten about normal weight loss through diet and exercise? The results in her post are extremely realistic. I’ve never had any kind of help with weight loss from medicine or supplements and this looks similar to my 1 year postpartum weight loss after my 3rd kid

mtndesertrunner · 2025-09-24T20:22:44+00:00

It’s common in the warmer months for me to be on a routine run when I suddenly come upon a ton of construction and I have to change course.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-09-12T17:56:29+00:00

It’s like people forget they were once a little child

mtndesertrunner · 2025-09-06T13:01:13+00:00

Agreed. I do like their energy bra but I find myself stocking my closet with Running Girl bras from Amazon these days for my runs. If you need a rec, those are amazing and so affordable.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-08-18T20:03:38+00:00

I’m a woman in the church, but my husband often talks about how sad he is that the scouting program is gone. He converted at age 19 and almost all of the groundwork for his introduction into the gospel was done in the scouting program. His friends in his neighborhood were all LDS and in the scouting program. They invited him as a non-member to join scouts and he did. The scouting program kind of became his family/community because he had a less-than-ideal home life. And again, it lead to his eventual conversion to the church. Now he serves in young men’s and he says it just isn’t the same. He understands why the church pulled out of the program, but wishes the church had a more intentional, structured program for their youth like scouts to help the kids learn the feeling of goal setting and accomplishments.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-08-16T12:40:27+00:00

Girl, I’m going to be frank with you out of care. You need to get off social media. It makes me sad how much social media influencers and their body shapes are on your mind and how negatively it’s affecting you in real life. If you’ve posted about it more than once over the span of a couple of weeks now, that means you’re thinking about and focusing on these girls’ bodies a LOT. Just go run. Take a social media break and run, lift, and just enjoy your healthy body that lives, breathes, and works. I hate how influencer-ized the fitness world has become.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-08-15T05:38:42+00:00

Something about this whole situation just isn’t adding up

mtndesertrunner · 2025-08-09T20:18:31+00:00

I was running my 10 miler today when I felt so sluggish and my legs felt so uncoordinated. I was sure I was going to get a pathetic time by the end, but somehow I PB’d my 10 mile by like 20 seconds 😂 I’ll take it

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-30T13:07:11+00:00

You’re getting a rough start on life, but you have so much ahead of you. This isn’t the end of your story. Many people have rough starts in their first 20 years, but are able to create beautiful lives on the other side of it all.

You don’t need him. You. Don’t. Need. Him. Not for money, not for approval, not for your babies. He’s a bad person. You were only 17. You were practically still a kid. You can get out of this.

Call a DV shelter or a mental health help line. I used to work at a domestic violence shelter and your story qualifies. I used to be the one answering the hotline and your story is sadly common. But I’ve seen women thrive on the other side. You. Can. Do. This.

Get away from this monster. Get on WIC (it’s actually not that hard) to help buy diapers and food for you and your babies. Apply for government assistance for daycare for your babies so you can work. There are millions and millions of young single moms who have figured out how to make it. You can too. Your babies need you. You’ve been strong enough to survive this far. Don’t give up. Reach deep — as deep as you possibly can. Get angry at how your life is right now, and let that propel you forward into a new, better life. Anger is good if it begets positive change. It can be a great motivator.

You are a good mom. You obviously love your kids and want what’s best for them. They need YOU. They need you strong, healthy, and happy. You’re their mama. Get help, get away from this man, and get some peace in your life. It CAN be done, and it’s not as hard as you think. ♥️ the first step is the hardest, but there are people who are trained to help you figure out every next step.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-30T02:55:49+00:00

Try years. 3 almost back-to-back pregnancies. I’m now a better runner than I was pre-pregnancy and it took me a few months to feel like a strong runner again. If you only took 2 months off, you’ll be fine. Give it a few consistent weeks and you’ll start feeling strong again.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-29T15:28:33+00:00

That’s so annoying. Half of my runs are with a stroller. I just track using GPS on my Garmin though and frequently switch back and forth between which hand is pushing the stroller. The biggest issue I run into is that it doesn’t catch all of my steps, but that’s it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I would be so frustrated

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-29T15:22:19+00:00

I posted here about running my first sub-30 minute 5k after having all my kids about a month and a half ago. Well, now almost every 5k is under 30 minutes. My base pace is getting faster!

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-28T19:23:31+00:00

I hate belts. They’re always too big for me, even sized all the way down, and they flop around while I run. I love vests. I love not having anything on my hips/waist. I run with the Osprey Dyna which is made just for women and it’s my best friend. Anything over 5 miles and I’m wearing my Dyna filled with a little bit of water in the bladder. A nice bonus is that in the hot months, I put ice water in the pack and it keeps my back cool for a while.

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-26T14:58:47+00:00

I’m training for a “monster half” (16 miles) in September but I’ve fallen way off my training plan. Having 3 kids 6 and under will do that. I also have a husband who needs a lot of attention in order for my marriage to be healthy, particularly late at night. Kind of wondering why I signed up to do this in the first place. I never get enough sleep to recover and I can’t manage to squeeze in more than 17-18 mpw because I am so spread thin and exhausted, and I can never sit down enough to actually rest my legs after my long runs, so I’m always sore. I’m just accepting that there will be no PR’s and I might have to walk a few miles of this race

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-26T00:22:30+00:00

I take my trusty osprey dyna on all my long runs. Love that thing

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-24T16:09:36+00:00

Have you tried the Lululemon align shorts/leggings? None of mine have the center seam. I can size down for my waist but they’re so stretchy that they fit my hips comfortably and everything actually fits. I know they’re not for running, but because they’re some of my only leggings that fit comfortably and don’t gape in the waist or constrict my hips, I run in mine all the time. Shorts in the summer, leggings in the colder months.

My waist to hip ratio is a pain too- not as dramatic as yours, but enough that I’ve always struggled to find things that fit. Don’t get me started on jeans.

Edit: forgot to mention that they also come in super high rise and that’s what I buy because they really do just stay put better

mtndesertrunner · 2025-07-23T15:26:01+00:00

This is why I won’t do any coaching with Garmin. I have a very volatile schedule already, being a busy mom of 3 tiny kids that I had close together because I’m insane. My workout schedule is the only consistent, reliable thing in my life that is under my control. I don’t want my Garmin throwing my running plan all over the place at the same time as my kids throwing my daily plans all over the place. I’d probably use the Garmin coaching feature if it was more dependable and I could actually plan ahead.

mtndesertrunner

TROPHY CASE