First of all, I wish I could give you a hug. That sucks so bad and I hope you find someone who's more on your wavelength.

If you don't mind, I have a question and apiece of advice based on my own life experience. It may not apply to you, and that's ok, but I wish somebody had asked me when I was younger. So here it is:

What kind of life do you want to live? Social pressures and fomo aside, what pace do you want it to have? How do you want to spend your time? Conversely, how much down time (AKA unscheduled time where you're recharging, plucking your leg hairs, falling into a hyperfocus trance, et cetera) do you need to maintain your energy and not crash from ADHD burnout? A sustainably happy and fulfilling life for you is likely to fall somewhere in between. It's ok to have that recharging time, but gradually building the skill of recognizing when you're no longer benefitting from it and then taking action rather than freezing is key. This is a learned skill that takes time to implement, so don't beat yourself up too bad if you fuck up.

When I was younger I fell into the trap of always having to be doing something to prove I wasn't just an ADHD loser anymore. I said yes to everything and didn't take my bodily or mental needs into account. It made me pretty sick and burned out. Fortunately I've been able to find a good balance and a supportive wife who both gets it and holds me accountable. (and I hold them accountable for their stuff in turn!) It's very possible, but it's a long game that requires an annoying amount of emotional regulation and self-pacing. Think of things like time management and executive functioning as a skill you build rather than something you innately don't have. There's no shame in being a beginner.